theVillageCouncil!! Reacts to Sam!!

theSam!!
Awakening theHearts, Minds and Feelings of Villagers!! everywhere,

Chief, what are you doing under theHouse!?,
yes sir I know that you're grand Kaneebee and all that's sold for half price to wigwam the Church hymns till theSky sings you dry and that every day is exactly theSame!!

But you should go to your house sir! Please!!
Well. No I hadn't really thought of that sir,

Just exactly what do you mean when theApple sips tons of car whirling chairs and theLodge cooks and rivers ornaments by and bye?!
Sir, I said, Get OUT from UNDER theHouse right Now!!

Manda, get out of MY CAR!!
No you can't start theNascarRace this year, It already happened last month and even at that, it was those open faced cars that you don't like,,

what theHell!? now I'm feeding into her delusions.

Manda, MANDA!! get your clothes on and get out of my CrownVictoria,
How'd you get into theTrunk anyway!?

Michael!! Stop!!, Michael cut it out now!!
Young man do you realize that you've got No Clothes On and you're running around theVillage!?

Yes, I see theFinger, Good day to you too sir.

Michael!! We're 7 miles away from theVillage and your feet are bleeding.
Stop at once, Michael!!

theSam!!
now Swerving in a Village near YOU!!
-----------------

Dear YVC Inc (doh!!) VPSO Director,
Please release me, Let me Go!!

Even though you just dropped me off last week, if you don't come out here then I'm hitch hiking thePass after theSnow melts!!

Oh.. and I'm out of single-use mouthpieces for thePortable Breathalyzer Device,

In fact after I visited the4 Teens partying inside theBroken-in school yesterday those girls broke theDevice!!

Seems that even I got a buzz just standing next to them in that storage closet they were hiding in, which reminds me, I'm not telling you about thePotParty that I broke up la... that I... ...........................................................

You'll be happy to know that I think I solved theCold case files from 3... make it 4 VPSO's back / 5 months ago basically.

It was that one incident when that one Officer that shot himself after theCouncilMan's girl didn't have her monthly period and when theMom stroked out hearing theNews.

Dad's still fine though, in fact when I visited his house yesterday he was still there, just like theInitialArrestReports said where he was-sitting watching TV with a cold one in hand.

In fact I don't think he even moved since then, Anyway after we watched a few rounds of Jeapardy together and into the 2nd line of theFriends!! theme song when theDad spoke to me,

he said that he thought long and hard about how to get his Wife to shut up and stop nagging him, so finally he worked out a plausible solution that rid him of theVPSO and of his nagging wife,

I finished eating my bag of popcorn and theSoup that his niece heated up for me and I left theHouse.....Sprinting!!

I'm not ever going back to that home again EVER!!
And if it wasn't for theFact that I have to see this man in Council Mtgs, I'd ban him from my presence too.

I'm guessing that you'll be pleased to know that I got a welcoming reception to theVillage!! two days ago.

I was speeding around on theNew snowMachine that theCouncil loaned to me and discovered that VillageChixxx!! can detect "freshMeat!!" from theNext Village downriver from theLast with both eyes closed!!

I've only experienced such things, like that one time in SouthDakota when I visited that Cattle farm as a child and saw and HEARD thousands of hooves make a rumble on the ground, that when huge numbers of people or vehicles flock to one place and congregate that theSound literally shakes theEarth!!

I heard a faint noise like that in early evening and all through theNight, soon theVillage!! was full of cars from town and lots of snowMachines from outside theVillage!! too,

I'm going hoarse already just telling everyone my name and Yes, Flyinghorse IS my actual name thank you very much, no no.. I don't need anymore cakes, pies etc.

Grandma sent her Young grandaughter over with enough MooseLeg and Porcupine to last all winter, and theTwo girls across theStreet are busy making sandwiches,

I think that I'm going to gain a little weight out here in theVillage!!

I must say that theOld VPSO office isn't so bad, and theHoldingCell / Jail is conveniently located inside theOffice too,

I have this bad feeling that I'm going to be sleeping on theFloor alot and guarding many Prisoners waiting for AST to drive / fly out here for Prisoner pickup.

But first things first, like new door jambs, frames and even Doors for all the entrances, new windows and even Glass for the.. well, for theWindows.

Heat too, oh.. and a new roof, new floors, and a south and Westerly wall would help too!!

I seem to vaguely recall that you said that you could Fly!! So I'll await at theVillageLandingStrip each day just after theMail Plane flies in and you can take me back to theCity!!

a VPSO in hell.
theSam!!
-------------------

The Human Body's Reaction to Alcohol
Blood alcohol Physical reaction / Villagers Physical Reaction to theVPSO!!

0.02% The ability to perform complex tasks is reduced. You get a little tense and hot.

I've never observed theDirect physical manifestations regarding this Reaction amongst Villagers but I understand that it's Universal throughout theRegion and Beyond!! I've only seen many tense and hot under theCollar Villagers but that's about it.

0.05% You get more excited.

theOC spray that theFormer VPSO turned into me lists the Percentage of OleoresinCapsaicin at the 4% level. so I use this 0.05 as a memory peg in helping me remember theFacts!!

Besides, when Everyone gets more excited and stomping, shouting Mad at being sprayed is a great memory visual learning peg too. All Villagers get more drunk / excited at Point 0 5.

0.08% You really get "in the mood". Memory is weakened. You exaggerate things and speak loud.

See you after dinner at 8 when you're in theMood. Though I must say that Alcohol doesn't weaken memory, if Anything It Improves it Greatly!!

As I can attest to years and years afterwards that Villagers can recall every little stammer, every hemm & haw that I've made in theVillage!! and they still comment upon my work and every last detail of theArrests made upon them.

It's now lie that they exaggerate things and pretty much get really loud. I'm still fighting with theNon-Profit that hired me regarding my brief hearing loss that occurred to me my last year in theVillage!!

And lastly Alcohol at this level makes VillageChixxx!! lose all inhibitions, prohibitions and Clothes!!

Though what hooked me into VPSO employment is that this .4% is also thePoints percentage rate of my Seniority rating and what my Pay Raise would be each year that was promised to me if I'd sign up.

And true to thePromise, I was called "Sgt Flyinghorse" within a year of my employment!

0.10% Looses control of muscles and emotional feelings. Most people stop drinking at this level, so should you!

I've learned that for many Villagers!! This level is just theStart!! of their drinking.

And although I disagree with theLoss of Muscle controls regarding handshaking, cos many friendly drunks want to shake my hand and it feels like they're grind my handbones to Powder!! They never let go!! This where I've coined thePhrase-VillageDeathGrip!! Because I seriously want to die when a drunk shakes my hand and Pain is my world.

I strongly agree that all Bladder and Rectum muscle control is pretty much gone at this point. Your first hint / Clue to that event is if people crawl under theBed, under theSofa, under theHouse even under theCar in theDead of Winter.

As for Other VillageCouncil physical manifestations I'd say that after 10pages of any report, memo & letter given to them by me that they Stop Speaking to me and
their Emotional feelings just skyRocket at this time.

0.15% You are really drunk. Staggering, nausea and sleepyness.

By this point Most Villagers are saying that I'M theOne!! that's drinking. In fact, one VillageGirl tried to prove her pont that she was more sober than me and she grabbed her keys from her Purse and drove off in my Patrol Vehicle!!

And it's true about theNausea. I get sick of being around such Lushes at this point. They exude waves and waves of mellow flavored Crisp clean Refreshing taste.

I get a headache and just want to go back to my LodgeRoom and sleep for a few days.
So this .15 is my memory peg. Get really drunk and stagger, feel nauseas and go to sleep.

0.20% You experience problems speaking. See things double.

After about 20 pages of an Arrest report, an Memo frome me or about 20 phone messages from me theVillageCouncil!! starts to experience speech problems.

Were it not for theFact that they're hopping mad and trying to Pete and Repeat theSame phrase and trying to spit out some words I'd assume they were suffering from TourrettesSyndrome, and even those People make more sense at this point.

And one young Teen girl screamed at me one night, "Stand still, all of You!! Quit trying to ruin my Party!!" as she kept grabbing at something beside me, and I wasn't even in her line of sight!!

0.30% You are dead drunk. No sense of what is happening around you.

Sadly, I've seen a few people in this condition.
You need to get them to medical facilities and pump their stomach to get the undigested alcohol out of them for starters.

And we have about 9pints of blood inside of us, we can lose up to 6 pints and still live, after that any lesser amount of blood in our bodies and our circulatory system among other things, loses veinous pressure and that is one thing that helps keep us alive by keeping out heart beating.

I've seen theHuman body from real life, books and video Cadaver studies and you'd be surprised at how small theStomach really is, at how many feet of small and Large Intestine we each have,

until you hold an Liver in your hands you have no idea how it works and how it helps process and remove Wastes from our bodies to Include Drugs and alcohol.

0.35% - 0.40% Unconsciousness or coma. Reduces respiration. Risk of suffering brain damage is high, even dying.

In my opinion it's best to get people to theHospital before they become unconscious and move to this Level of Blood-Alcohol level.

all my teen years I never could understand why my Peers and other drinkers loved to recount tales of drinking binges. Of how cool it was to damage their bodies and impair themselves so badly.

it's sad but true that a few of my experiences in theVillage!! involve responding to drinking parties and finding kidz unconscious!!

Over 0.40% GAME OVER - You most likely will die

Rest in Peace. I'm sure that most of us know of people that died from Alcohol Poisoning.

Bottom line is, that if you must drink-at least control theDrinking before it controls You!!
-----------------------

theSam!!
SLFlyinghorse
Anchorage, Alaska

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Poop Moose Has Bottomed Out!!!

Institute Director Resigns from the Mormon church

Alaska Village Tales