Village Report Writing Tips, 101!!
"As a Village!! blogger, You want to follow theTrends!!
see, every now and then, or as I do, every then and later,
I like to peruse theState!!'s website and analyze theArrestReports in terms of Report Structure and various considerations.
Every LEO I know says to write your reports in Chronological form!!
Like I didn't know that already!!, but anywayz,
as I pursue theState!!'s website to read and to laugh and cry and gather up inspiration for theNext!! DVE in myVillage!!,
I can't help but wonder if all theTop40 Reports read like an Top40 songList on theRadio,
Just think about it,
When you analyze songs and discover that most songs have an short
Introduction,
an 1stVerse,
an Bridge,
an Chorus,
then 2ndVerse and Chorus,
then Bridge to Finishing with theChorus again.
You have to look at things like that, written Reports which will "grab" theReader!!, in much the same fashion as an "boyfriend" grabs his "girlfriend" in an strangle hold,
Once you "hook" your audience of Report readers, You can land them at your leisure, hook, line and sinker!! erh. Er in an manner of speaking.
*sigh*
But lately, I look at my dismal Arrest reports and have to notice that my Introductions just lead into
an 1st Paragraph: of Day Date Time, Whom, What, Where, When, and How!!
And my "Bridge", per se, is usually burnt out-Can't cross it!!
Because, I most likely got theRelatives of So-n-So, mad at me from theArresting of their dear Relatives "last week",
Or, as what often happens to me when some heavily Intoxicated females are in Custody,
they strip and gyrate,
and their "Bridge" they do (back bridge on theFloor) has nothing to do with song writing / Report writing,
But I have to admit, those Bridges do make interesting structures to behold!!
And finally we get to theChorus!! of my DVE / domesticViolenceEvent participant's:
'He hurt me, didn't I love you?!'
'You stole my boots (pot, car, dog) and broke my heart (window, nose, glasses etc)
Try and put that to song!!
then 2ndVerse
of Credible witnesses and theChorus again!!
then Bridge
(and right in front of Everyone too!!, this is what happens when Pot and Vodka are mixed!!, absolutely No Inhibitions Or CLOTHES!! for that matter-for days!!)
to Finishing with theChorus again.
I tell ya,
I'm gonna make a Million bucks someday from all theStuff I've seen "Out There"-far OUT There!!
Now, one close friend of mine, another VPSO has this to say,
He vehemently states that his Report writing forms always followstheStandard
(at least for his Village!!)
of theIntroduction, theBeaverBridge!!,
then the1st Verse,
and get this...
Followed by theLift!!
most likely theLifting of theShirt!! of his females-BY his females or something...
then theChorus of theReport,
the2nd Verse and then theBeaverBridge!! again
to end with theChorus and close out with a few well placed shots of OC spray.
I must say that I'm impressed with that form of ArrestReport Writing!!
I'll have to try it, even to include theLifting of myOwnShirt!! d:oP if necessary.
Just to oneUp my Officer friends up and down theRiver!!
I tell ya, competition for VPSO status out here in theBush is fierce!!
We always have to OneUp each other or something, even if WE have to get arrested and jail ourselves and such...
*ahem*...
Well, I'm short on time today,
I'll have to Email my StateTroopOversite and ask her
just exactly how long the new ArrestReport Introductions have to be?!
Most likely she'll say, (thank God!! I finally got an female overSite!!)
"Just long enough to establish theFeel and Tempo of theReport, and to possibly introduce an Motif, or flourish!!"
of theHand towards theOC spray canister or else to theHeavyWinchesterBaton,
(it's what she always does when in theVillage!! these days yakking at us Officers, me and theVPO!!)
I swear that Officer E. B. Endover!! is italian, cos her hands are constantly moving in unison with her mouth, so much so that one day herTroop colleagues pointed theHandheld RadarGun at her, to test,
and her speech was clocked at over 500 words a minute!!
I'll get back to some more ReportWriting-101!! soon,
luvs, theSam!!
slflyinghorse,
theVillage!!, I'llAskYa
---------------------
see, every now and then, or as I do, every then and later,
I like to peruse theState!!'s website and analyze theArrestReports in terms of Report Structure and various considerations.
Every LEO I know says to write your reports in Chronological form!!
Like I didn't know that already!!, but anywayz,
as I pursue theState!!'s website to read and to laugh and cry and gather up inspiration for theNext!! DVE in myVillage!!,
I can't help but wonder if all theTop40 Reports read like an Top40 songList on theRadio,
Just think about it,
When you analyze songs and discover that most songs have an short
Introduction,
an 1stVerse,
an Bridge,
an Chorus,
then 2ndVerse and Chorus,
then Bridge to Finishing with theChorus again.
You have to look at things like that, written Reports which will "grab" theReader!!, in much the same fashion as an "boyfriend" grabs his "girlfriend" in an strangle hold,
Once you "hook" your audience of Report readers, You can land them at your leisure, hook, line and sinker!! erh. Er in an manner of speaking.
*sigh*
But lately, I look at my dismal Arrest reports and have to notice that my Introductions just lead into
an 1st Paragraph: of Day Date Time, Whom, What, Where, When, and How!!
And my "Bridge", per se, is usually burnt out-Can't cross it!!
Because, I most likely got theRelatives of So-n-So, mad at me from theArresting of their dear Relatives "last week",
Or, as what often happens to me when some heavily Intoxicated females are in Custody,
they strip and gyrate,
and their "Bridge" they do (back bridge on theFloor) has nothing to do with song writing / Report writing,
But I have to admit, those Bridges do make interesting structures to behold!!
And finally we get to theChorus!! of my DVE / domesticViolenceEvent participant's:
'He hurt me, didn't I love you?!'
'You stole my boots (pot, car, dog) and broke my heart (window, nose, glasses etc)
Try and put that to song!!
then 2ndVerse
of Credible witnesses and theChorus again!!
then Bridge
(and right in front of Everyone too!!, this is what happens when Pot and Vodka are mixed!!, absolutely No Inhibitions Or CLOTHES!! for that matter-for days!!)
to Finishing with theChorus again.
I tell ya,
I'm gonna make a Million bucks someday from all theStuff I've seen "Out There"-far OUT There!!
Now, one close friend of mine, another VPSO has this to say,
He vehemently states that his Report writing forms always followstheStandard
(at least for his Village!!)
of theIntroduction, theBeaverBridge!!,
then the1st Verse,
and get this...
Followed by theLift!!
most likely theLifting of theShirt!! of his females-BY his females or something...
then theChorus of theReport,
the2nd Verse and then theBeaverBridge!! again
to end with theChorus and close out with a few well placed shots of OC spray.
I must say that I'm impressed with that form of ArrestReport Writing!!
I'll have to try it, even to include theLifting of myOwnShirt!! d:oP if necessary.
Just to oneUp my Officer friends up and down theRiver!!
I tell ya, competition for VPSO status out here in theBush is fierce!!
We always have to OneUp each other or something, even if WE have to get arrested and jail ourselves and such...
*ahem*...
Well, I'm short on time today,
I'll have to Email my StateTroopOversite and ask her
just exactly how long the new ArrestReport Introductions have to be?!
Most likely she'll say, (thank God!! I finally got an female overSite!!)
"Just long enough to establish theFeel and Tempo of theReport, and to possibly introduce an Motif, or flourish!!"
of theHand towards theOC spray canister or else to theHeavyWinchesterBaton,
(it's what she always does when in theVillage!! these days yakking at us Officers, me and theVPO!!)
I swear that Officer E. B. Endover!! is italian, cos her hands are constantly moving in unison with her mouth, so much so that one day herTroop colleagues pointed theHandheld RadarGun at her, to test,
and her speech was clocked at over 500 words a minute!!
I'll get back to some more ReportWriting-101!! soon,
luvs, theSam!!
slflyinghorse,
theVillage!!, I'llAskYa
---------------------
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