Support Your Local Sam!!
SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL SAM!!
Oct 2007
More Village headlines
Shamelessly pledgerized from theInnerNet!!, it’s more Ripped From theHeadLines!!
You may read similar news from around theNation and from around theWorld, but trust me, it’s all been done as well out in theVillage!!
theSam!!
Thigh Expectations!!
"uhmm, thanks for inviting me to eat Granma, Could you please pass theChicken!?"
*gramna passes theBowl of fried chicken, but when it gets to Sam!! nothings left*
"O - K, uhhmm.. I’ll just finish my bread.
So, Granma, since it’s just you, theFuriously Silent VillageChick!! grand daughter and me eating......"
YVCInc!!
don’t give theVillageKidz!! cough and cold meds, instead give them to Sam!! and watch him drive his Patrol Vehicle....
His winter time slogan is “To protect and SWERVE!!”
and then get extremely sleepy sitting inside theWarm vehicle.
But hey, just as long as it works in getting him to turn in early a few nights of the Month.
theVillage!!
is Bill theVillager!!’s Wife helping drive him to drink?! Or is she just driving?!
Or rather, is she theOne Importing alcohol and just out of town she props her “husband” Bill in the drivers seat and leaves him there as she hoofs it through theWoods to theVillage!! backPack and arms loaded with contraband!?
we think so!!
theSam!!
Sexy shoes, Boots and more!!......for SALE, please!!
as pretty much half theVillageChixxx!! arrested this month alone have left odds and ends and won’t reclaim them after getting out of Jail!!
I swear, if I leave theVillage!! I’m opening up my own UniqueBootique!!
theVillageChixxx!!
Beauty and Skin-Care Must Haves!!
Loosely translated as basically any type of
“Foundation makeup”, “Cover”, “Concealer”, “Blushes and Rouge”, “Lip Gloss & Balms”, “Hand & Body Creams” to utilize as barriers on theFace, Neck, Arms, hands and “elsewhere”
to inhibit and prevent contact with / from and to stop theSam!!’s OC Spray / Mace!! from reaching their skin and thus inflaming their tissues, mucous membranes etc.
theVillageChixxx!!
Stylish HandBags big and small,
“An Village mushhtt HHaavvee!!” (slurres speeeeach)
every VillageGirl loves theSturdy canvas and Nylon totes that can withstand a beating UPON an VPSO,
especially if it's just stuffed full of contraband, alcohol, drugs, various pocket litter etc.
Uhmm. We mean theBag!!, not theOfficer.
Although, according to several arrest reports and many more Incident Reports from an "Certain Village",
theOfficer's Uniform Coverall Pockets were actually stuffed with Contraband and other drugs & litter when an VillageChick!! attempted an assault upon his person with her "Now", or
I guess since we're telling the story YEARS after theFact,
she attempted an assault upon his person with her "Then" empty Tote sack and just succeeded in "Fwap!!, Fwap!!, Slapp!!"
Irritating theSam!! so she slowly stopped hitting him, Sighed deeply in resignation cos she knew she was headed off to jail and stuck out her hands in front of her for Cuffing!!
theVillageChixxx!!
cozy Coats and warm Jackets!!
Preferably thick coats with lots of pocket space to conceal bottles and cans, Weed, Pipes and other “Controlled-Substances”,
not to mention theMaterials!! being thick enough to inhibit theTazerProbe lead NeedleBarbs from jacket penetration and thus, negating or inhibiting any Tazer effect WhenEver, WhereEver ”What ever!!”
theVillageChixxx!!
hot Fall hairFashion Do’s, Dont’s and DID’s!!
Updo’s are all theRage!!
Basically anything that will conceal a pack of Cigs, an Bic lighter and a small Potpipe or Else a couple pouches of HighBalls & Meth,
Maybe a wad of Cash concealed and it’s all Done In Plain Site!!
Some smart Girls are adept at taking a Fall of Hair and sculpting “by hand!!” (without use of Combs, Brushes or silly MagicHair!! devices) hollowed out “clamShell” pockets,
they “build” these Chignons, Twists, CombOvers and Braids and enforce them with HairSpray.
So, what looks like an nice Lovely UpDo to you on Back of or on Side and Top of an Girls head is really just an container of hair that conceals small items of contraband.
I’m not Joking....
theVillage!!
villagePolice name suspect in mild Grape!!
allegedly, thePop!! can of Shasta Grape apparently DID have a shot of “JD” which was in the possession of “JD”, an minor villageKid!!
and this happened seconds after theSam!! bought the darn Pop at theGeneralStore for theKidz....
sheeeesh,
apparently theHardStuff!! just appears out of nowhere suddenly when ever any other Liquid is present......
theVillageChick!!
in an strange twist in theJeanz Six debacle.
An apparent stranger posted Bond for the little grade schooler “Jean” and sprung theChild from Jail!!
And it really WAS an “Parent” - “Stranger”.
her dad whom has never ever seen theGirl since... well.
Actually he never saw her at all, Just helped make her and then skipped town for the next 6yrs!!
theVillageChick!!’s
REPORT: “Bomb” hits “Bust” in village!!
two hot Gorgeous VillageChick!!’s worlds collided today when not one - but BOTH of them
realizing they were flat broke decided to find theVPSO!! and hit him up for $ (at theSame Time!!)
Really!!, some of you Couples may see this and even do this at times. When theGirl!! is mad at theGuy!! and slaps his arms, punches at him etc.
it's more or less just what it is, an expression of anxiety and futility, Never anger and certainly not anything Violent. And it's so damn funny to watch.
But sometimes, when certain VillageChixxx!! (those that have gotten used to Sam!! and trust him with their feelings, time, etc) they'll slap his arms or chest, push at him, even throw a punch!! and it's harmless.
"can I have some $?!, Come ON!!" they'll whine unceasingly.
If any of you have ever fed famished kittens, theChicks!! mewwl like that unceasingly.
Since an VillageChick!! thinks that only she’s theCenter!! of basically everyone elses Universe neither one (or quite frankly ALL of them) was prepared for theInevitable shakeup to their Reality’s when they crossed paths with each other.
We’ll spare theLurid details of theEnsuing Cat-fight when “theLoveBomb!!” lit into “MzBust!!”
But if you wanna watch, Just search for any footage on theNet of “Hot girl cat fights”, “Foxy boxing”, “ghetto girl beatdown”, etc.
theSam!! fondly remembers,
I loved theBig TALL one, an Gothic looking Princess!! wearing 6” platforms. She never took them off!!
And theOtherOne, a fat hottie, a well Shaped Endowed curvy Hottie with twin infant girls and they both moved around me staring daggers at each other and you could feel their tension,
theHostility!! between them but they kept such things to themselves and were totally professional,
theBig TALL one wanted to attend film school so she could Direct........
oh......
Wait.
Those were two of my hair & Massage clients in Seattle!!
never mind.
theVPSO!!’s
Loveable Losers clinch YVC!! central.
So, they’re calling theOfficers “loveable” now are they?!
theSam!!
Will Sammy!! show as Villagers open Camp!?
Probably not, but.
Unless, UNLESS he hears an “ssspppsshhh!!!” sound of an beer can opening, then no,
he won’t show up at your hunting or fish camp this year to question you upon your alcohol consumption and use.
As by now, he’s got his Contraband Interdiction work priorities down to an art & science.
theVillage!!
People, are you your own worst enemy?!
I mean theLoud parties, theLoud music, theRock throwing at theVPSO’s patrol vehicle when he drives by your house!!
I mean, there have been some VillageChixxx!! that kept the lights out, theShades drawn and never said “Boo!!” when they were drinking,
theSam!! remembers discovering at least 20 people drinking in one house and not one person uttered an peep of conversation, laughter, anger to attract any attention.
Learn from these people, People!!
theVillage!!
benefits of focusing on Family Fitness.
Basically you’ll be able to outRun theVPSO!! for at least another 50yards,
When your friend stops theCar along theRoad, you’ll be able to “shotPut” theCase of beer further into theWoods!!
and when theSam!! gets his hands on you, at least you’ll have strength to struggle just a bit longer and perhaps you can reach for and actually “GRASP” his OC spray cans or latch onto his Batons,
Remember this:
theFamily that Imports together, Remands together!!
................and Pleads together, servs together,
Even gets OUT together!!
theVillager!!
Tips for Enjoying OctoberFest like a Local!!
and you can do it all YEAR long even if you’re in another Village!!
You might not be German,
well. except for those crazy “Imports” to theYVCInc!! region that inhabit / inhibit theLower extremeties of theYVCInc (doh!!) netherRegions,
You know how hard core those Europeans are!!, they’re almost as EXTREME as theVillage “You’re a Peein’s!! when it comes to hiding Bottles & Cans upon their persons and even IN their persons,
But where theEuropean’s!! stop is where theYou’reAPeein’s!! pick up, recycle, regurgitate and reConsume again!!, and again, and again!! etc.
uh.. I’m gonna stop now with this and move onto theNext ticker before I hurl just thinking of this.
theSam!!
REPORTS: is theVillageBoy!! really building an villageProof Bunker!?
Or is basically any story about theBoy!! just Bunk!?
we’ll keep you tuned in to any of theBoy!!’s latest shenanigans, in the meantime keep those TinFoil beanie caps on your Cranium and keep hiding under theDinnerTable with fist fulls of food
JUST like “He” did during one Village TribalHall Dinner Celebration,
theVillage!!
Fussy Elder snags Fish but Stays Completely Dry!!
an enterprising VillageGranma baited Sam!! hook-Line-andSinker with a few Cookies and sent him down to theRiver to get her some Fish!!
She said that theNeeds of theOldOne’s trump any State fishing rules mandates (which they surely do!!) and she said that SHE needed to have more fish to eat, which, btw her DOGS certainly needed (as additive to their Foods)
I tell ya’. Sometimes you just have to pick and choose your Service activities out in theVillage!! Else you get taken Hook-Line-andSinker everytime by someone that really doesn’t need your help.
trust me.
theVillageChixxx!!
Nicole & Berts shift from Moody to Mirthful!! (in just two Mouthfulls)
Two cute VillageGirls!! and two 1.75Litre bottles of flavored Vocka and a six pack of Pepsi.
2 + 2 of 1.75, dividing 6 (into 3 each) equals 4hrs of Loud music, cheerful shouting and chanting culminating in about 2quarts (EACH!!) vomit on theFloor per room in the 7 room House,
eehh.... I hate math.
theSam!!
whom lately, is more Sam!! than Sam!!
theVillage!!
of which lately, is still more Village than even most Villages!!
theVillageChixxx!!
oh whom it can be rightly “Uddered!!”
Silly Sam!!, Chixxx with 4Kidz!!
(I know, I know. Bad play on words from theTrix cereal commercial,
Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids!!)
Though someChixxx!! and even theSam!! are kidz at heart and often act like childern sometimes.
theSam!!
still listening to theVoices!! in his head,
and also to his Online friends.
Do It sam!!, go ON, Do It!!
d:oP
and finally.........
Here in Alaska, October is Breast Cancer Awareness / BCA Month.
So check your Villages!! from top to bottom, from side to side and from surface to deep interior and see if you can detect any hidden VPSO “Boobs!!”
Believe it or not, they’re often theOnlyBoobs in theVillage!! that are real.
So much so that there’s nothing Fake about them.
Some are incredibly perky, some just big and bouncy and in yo Face!!
Others are demure and diminuitive in Nature and shy, quiet, repressed!!
and others like theSam!!
are Just There.
and don’t forget to support these fine BCA organizations in theVillage!!
-it Seems Like Home!!,
-it could be a home, though I’m really not sure. Wait...Did you hear that scream!?
-I’m going into this Home because I saw people run in with Alcohol & Drugs!!
-Hello?!, Is anybody home?! hheellOOOooo!???
-This is MY Home!!
and don't forget to JOIN the Most Popular BCA org to date!!
-Send Sam Home!!
Loves,
theSam!!
Oct 2007
More Village headlines
Shamelessly pledgerized from theInnerNet!!, it’s more Ripped From theHeadLines!!
You may read similar news from around theNation and from around theWorld, but trust me, it’s all been done as well out in theVillage!!
theSam!!
Thigh Expectations!!
"uhmm, thanks for inviting me to eat Granma, Could you please pass theChicken!?"
*gramna passes theBowl of fried chicken, but when it gets to Sam!! nothings left*
"O - K, uhhmm.. I’ll just finish my bread.
So, Granma, since it’s just you, theFuriously Silent VillageChick!! grand daughter and me eating......"
YVCInc!!
don’t give theVillageKidz!! cough and cold meds, instead give them to Sam!! and watch him drive his Patrol Vehicle....
His winter time slogan is “To protect and SWERVE!!”
and then get extremely sleepy sitting inside theWarm vehicle.
But hey, just as long as it works in getting him to turn in early a few nights of the Month.
theVillage!!
is Bill theVillager!!’s Wife helping drive him to drink?! Or is she just driving?!
Or rather, is she theOne Importing alcohol and just out of town she props her “husband” Bill in the drivers seat and leaves him there as she hoofs it through theWoods to theVillage!! backPack and arms loaded with contraband!?
we think so!!
theSam!!
Sexy shoes, Boots and more!!......for SALE, please!!
as pretty much half theVillageChixxx!! arrested this month alone have left odds and ends and won’t reclaim them after getting out of Jail!!
I swear, if I leave theVillage!! I’m opening up my own UniqueBootique!!
theVillageChixxx!!
Beauty and Skin-Care Must Haves!!
Loosely translated as basically any type of
“Foundation makeup”, “Cover”, “Concealer”, “Blushes and Rouge”, “Lip Gloss & Balms”, “Hand & Body Creams” to utilize as barriers on theFace, Neck, Arms, hands and “elsewhere”
to inhibit and prevent contact with / from and to stop theSam!!’s OC Spray / Mace!! from reaching their skin and thus inflaming their tissues, mucous membranes etc.
theVillageChixxx!!
Stylish HandBags big and small,
“An Village mushhtt HHaavvee!!” (slurres speeeeach)
every VillageGirl loves theSturdy canvas and Nylon totes that can withstand a beating UPON an VPSO,
especially if it's just stuffed full of contraband, alcohol, drugs, various pocket litter etc.
Uhmm. We mean theBag!!, not theOfficer.
Although, according to several arrest reports and many more Incident Reports from an "Certain Village",
theOfficer's Uniform Coverall Pockets were actually stuffed with Contraband and other drugs & litter when an VillageChick!! attempted an assault upon his person with her "Now", or
I guess since we're telling the story YEARS after theFact,
she attempted an assault upon his person with her "Then" empty Tote sack and just succeeded in "Fwap!!, Fwap!!, Slapp!!"
Irritating theSam!! so she slowly stopped hitting him, Sighed deeply in resignation cos she knew she was headed off to jail and stuck out her hands in front of her for Cuffing!!
theVillageChixxx!!
cozy Coats and warm Jackets!!
Preferably thick coats with lots of pocket space to conceal bottles and cans, Weed, Pipes and other “Controlled-Substances”,
not to mention theMaterials!! being thick enough to inhibit theTazerProbe lead NeedleBarbs from jacket penetration and thus, negating or inhibiting any Tazer effect WhenEver, WhereEver ”What ever!!”
theVillageChixxx!!
hot Fall hairFashion Do’s, Dont’s and DID’s!!
Updo’s are all theRage!!
Basically anything that will conceal a pack of Cigs, an Bic lighter and a small Potpipe or Else a couple pouches of HighBalls & Meth,
Maybe a wad of Cash concealed and it’s all Done In Plain Site!!
Some smart Girls are adept at taking a Fall of Hair and sculpting “by hand!!” (without use of Combs, Brushes or silly MagicHair!! devices) hollowed out “clamShell” pockets,
they “build” these Chignons, Twists, CombOvers and Braids and enforce them with HairSpray.
So, what looks like an nice Lovely UpDo to you on Back of or on Side and Top of an Girls head is really just an container of hair that conceals small items of contraband.
I’m not Joking....
theVillage!!
villagePolice name suspect in mild Grape!!
allegedly, thePop!! can of Shasta Grape apparently DID have a shot of “JD” which was in the possession of “JD”, an minor villageKid!!
and this happened seconds after theSam!! bought the darn Pop at theGeneralStore for theKidz....
sheeeesh,
apparently theHardStuff!! just appears out of nowhere suddenly when ever any other Liquid is present......
theVillageChick!!
in an strange twist in theJeanz Six debacle.
An apparent stranger posted Bond for the little grade schooler “Jean” and sprung theChild from Jail!!
And it really WAS an “Parent” - “Stranger”.
her dad whom has never ever seen theGirl since... well.
Actually he never saw her at all, Just helped make her and then skipped town for the next 6yrs!!
theVillageChick!!’s
REPORT: “Bomb” hits “Bust” in village!!
two hot Gorgeous VillageChick!!’s worlds collided today when not one - but BOTH of them
realizing they were flat broke decided to find theVPSO!! and hit him up for $ (at theSame Time!!)
Really!!, some of you Couples may see this and even do this at times. When theGirl!! is mad at theGuy!! and slaps his arms, punches at him etc.
it's more or less just what it is, an expression of anxiety and futility, Never anger and certainly not anything Violent. And it's so damn funny to watch.
But sometimes, when certain VillageChixxx!! (those that have gotten used to Sam!! and trust him with their feelings, time, etc) they'll slap his arms or chest, push at him, even throw a punch!! and it's harmless.
"can I have some $?!, Come ON!!" they'll whine unceasingly.
If any of you have ever fed famished kittens, theChicks!! mewwl like that unceasingly.
Since an VillageChick!! thinks that only she’s theCenter!! of basically everyone elses Universe neither one (or quite frankly ALL of them) was prepared for theInevitable shakeup to their Reality’s when they crossed paths with each other.
We’ll spare theLurid details of theEnsuing Cat-fight when “theLoveBomb!!” lit into “MzBust!!”
But if you wanna watch, Just search for any footage on theNet of “Hot girl cat fights”, “Foxy boxing”, “ghetto girl beatdown”, etc.
theSam!! fondly remembers,
I loved theBig TALL one, an Gothic looking Princess!! wearing 6” platforms. She never took them off!!
And theOtherOne, a fat hottie, a well Shaped Endowed curvy Hottie with twin infant girls and they both moved around me staring daggers at each other and you could feel their tension,
theHostility!! between them but they kept such things to themselves and were totally professional,
theBig TALL one wanted to attend film school so she could Direct........
oh......
Wait.
Those were two of my hair & Massage clients in Seattle!!
never mind.
theVPSO!!’s
Loveable Losers clinch YVC!! central.
So, they’re calling theOfficers “loveable” now are they?!
theSam!!
Will Sammy!! show as Villagers open Camp!?
Probably not, but.
Unless, UNLESS he hears an “ssspppsshhh!!!” sound of an beer can opening, then no,
he won’t show up at your hunting or fish camp this year to question you upon your alcohol consumption and use.
As by now, he’s got his Contraband Interdiction work priorities down to an art & science.
theVillage!!
People, are you your own worst enemy?!
I mean theLoud parties, theLoud music, theRock throwing at theVPSO’s patrol vehicle when he drives by your house!!
I mean, there have been some VillageChixxx!! that kept the lights out, theShades drawn and never said “Boo!!” when they were drinking,
theSam!! remembers discovering at least 20 people drinking in one house and not one person uttered an peep of conversation, laughter, anger to attract any attention.
Learn from these people, People!!
theVillage!!
benefits of focusing on Family Fitness.
Basically you’ll be able to outRun theVPSO!! for at least another 50yards,
When your friend stops theCar along theRoad, you’ll be able to “shotPut” theCase of beer further into theWoods!!
and when theSam!! gets his hands on you, at least you’ll have strength to struggle just a bit longer and perhaps you can reach for and actually “GRASP” his OC spray cans or latch onto his Batons,
Remember this:
theFamily that Imports together, Remands together!!
................and Pleads together, servs together,
Even gets OUT together!!
theVillager!!
Tips for Enjoying OctoberFest like a Local!!
and you can do it all YEAR long even if you’re in another Village!!
You might not be German,
well. except for those crazy “Imports” to theYVCInc!! region that inhabit / inhibit theLower extremeties of theYVCInc (doh!!) netherRegions,
You know how hard core those Europeans are!!, they’re almost as EXTREME as theVillage “You’re a Peein’s!! when it comes to hiding Bottles & Cans upon their persons and even IN their persons,
But where theEuropean’s!! stop is where theYou’reAPeein’s!! pick up, recycle, regurgitate and reConsume again!!, and again, and again!! etc.
uh.. I’m gonna stop now with this and move onto theNext ticker before I hurl just thinking of this.
theSam!!
REPORTS: is theVillageBoy!! really building an villageProof Bunker!?
Or is basically any story about theBoy!! just Bunk!?
we’ll keep you tuned in to any of theBoy!!’s latest shenanigans, in the meantime keep those TinFoil beanie caps on your Cranium and keep hiding under theDinnerTable with fist fulls of food
JUST like “He” did during one Village TribalHall Dinner Celebration,
theVillage!!
Fussy Elder snags Fish but Stays Completely Dry!!
an enterprising VillageGranma baited Sam!! hook-Line-andSinker with a few Cookies and sent him down to theRiver to get her some Fish!!
She said that theNeeds of theOldOne’s trump any State fishing rules mandates (which they surely do!!) and she said that SHE needed to have more fish to eat, which, btw her DOGS certainly needed (as additive to their Foods)
I tell ya’. Sometimes you just have to pick and choose your Service activities out in theVillage!! Else you get taken Hook-Line-andSinker everytime by someone that really doesn’t need your help.
trust me.
theVillageChixxx!!
Nicole & Berts shift from Moody to Mirthful!! (in just two Mouthfulls)
Two cute VillageGirls!! and two 1.75Litre bottles of flavored Vocka and a six pack of Pepsi.
2 + 2 of 1.75, dividing 6 (into 3 each) equals 4hrs of Loud music, cheerful shouting and chanting culminating in about 2quarts (EACH!!) vomit on theFloor per room in the 7 room House,
eehh.... I hate math.
theSam!!
whom lately, is more Sam!! than Sam!!
theVillage!!
of which lately, is still more Village than even most Villages!!
theVillageChixxx!!
oh whom it can be rightly “Uddered!!”
Silly Sam!!, Chixxx with 4Kidz!!
(I know, I know. Bad play on words from theTrix cereal commercial,
Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids!!)
Though someChixxx!! and even theSam!! are kidz at heart and often act like childern sometimes.
theSam!!
still listening to theVoices!! in his head,
and also to his Online friends.
Do It sam!!, go ON, Do It!!
d:oP
and finally.........
Here in Alaska, October is Breast Cancer Awareness / BCA Month.
So check your Villages!! from top to bottom, from side to side and from surface to deep interior and see if you can detect any hidden VPSO “Boobs!!”
Believe it or not, they’re often theOnlyBoobs in theVillage!! that are real.
So much so that there’s nothing Fake about them.
Some are incredibly perky, some just big and bouncy and in yo Face!!
Others are demure and diminuitive in Nature and shy, quiet, repressed!!
and others like theSam!!
are Just There.
and don’t forget to support these fine BCA organizations in theVillage!!
-it Seems Like Home!!,
-it could be a home, though I’m really not sure. Wait...Did you hear that scream!?
-I’m going into this Home because I saw people run in with Alcohol & Drugs!!
-Hello?!, Is anybody home?! hheellOOOooo!???
-This is MY Home!!
and don't forget to JOIN the Most Popular BCA org to date!!
-Send Sam Home!!
Loves,
theSam!!
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