End of Year Billboard Favorites!!
"Mom!! Sam’s drinking again!!"
More Billboard Favorites with theSam!!
this weeks installment of VillageTales has us going back to yesterday,
back to Sobriety in fact,
Back before I ever set foot in a restaurant or, quite frankly, a bar for that matter to work.
I honestly think that this List of music favorites only stayed on theBillboard so long cos of theBarMgr sneaking bacon bits off theHolding rack,
realized that her fingers were sticky from her saliva,
she has to grab a handtowel cos theDummoSam!! / dishMachineOperator is out of reach,
else she’d just use his linen jacket sleeves (again)
but then she slips on the wet kitchen floor and sticks out a hand to steady herself and smacks theBillboard wall leaving traces of saliva, bacon bit crumbs and Thusly,
this List is forever fastened to theBillboard and subsequently covered up by weeks and weeks of ShiftSchedules, EventNotices and handbills,
33 weeks of postings to be exact!!, when finally theCorkboard gives up theGhost!! and smacks!! to the floor in a broken heap
and theDummo!!’s have to clean up the mess right along with moving 40 dinner plates , 2dozen boats, 6 trays of steak and more frozen crab up front,
We're running silverware (again), taking OUT theTrash!!, unclogging theSinks, signing up for 401K’s and voting on year end insurance dividends for company headquarters,
We're seeing that theMini-Salad station is fully stocked and we pause our dishWashing to train the new kids that were just hired to Oversee the disgruntled Guests
as THEY PREP their own salads and / or refire their steaks in theMini-EZ bake oven!! Some guests are unable to be pleased,
That guy from “HellsKitchen” tv show would quit his yelling and go into bus driving or become a Transient if he were to cook for thePetiteNapkin!!’s customers,
Even theIronChef!!’s on tv’s food channel would commit hariKari after stepping into our Kitchen, $30K days are quite hectic and everyone’s running non stop, except for me,
You could slow-Motion theKitchen with a camera and play it back at High speed,
I’m the One moving normally and everyone else is just a blur!!
I'm sneaking cheesecake crumbs, grazing from theBread bins, cajoling and coaxing left over alcohol from theServerGirls!! etc.
And along with all this activity that we DishWashers do on a daily basis,
did I mention that we're busy healing theSick!!, raising theDead!!, walking on water, expelling rodents, quelling Natural disasters and even making theBlind see!?
did I, did I huh!?
I swear I’m gonna start smoking just so I can go outside for 15mins every 2hrs.
It sucks being theLead DishWasher sometimes,
cos when an young Dummo!! sips and nips unused alcohol from theServerTrays into oblivion and hides in theService elevator,
Someone’s gotta coffee him up and light a fire under his ass so he’ll work at least till Midnight,
and I’m still quietly resuscitating my previous Careers!! while I wash dishes downtown, that’s theRaisingTheDead part I speak of....
and theWalking on water claims.
I really DO!! I walk on water every shift,
and then at closing time, we pick up theMats off the floor, do pick them up from out of the 3” deep water and run them through theMachine!!
and I don’t really expell rodents, but I do stomp and finger-crush cockroaches.
The PetiteNapkin!! hires professional bug fumigators every 3 months, nobody will listen to my suggestions of just torching thePlace!! and starting over again.
As for theNatural disasters, when theService elevator gets so full of trash, boxes and Linen bags sometimes the stack of debris will shift and then fall under it’s own weight,
Kinda like one HottieServerGirl did when one day her ego got too big for her body and she collapsed before our eyes!! She's now assisting Admin and even Hiring and Firing people too, she loves her new job.
I have to clean theElevator out while doing all the above mentioned activities. (aaaaagggghhhh!!!!!!! / screams loudly)
I was amused though, when ServerLinsey tried to squeeze the last drop of Mayo from the squirt bottle, she looked in the dispenserTip while squeezing & shaking and SPLAT!!
you have to wonder what she does at home after hours, cos she went Wild with fun and opened her mouth like she was in another Bukkake video!!
*sigh*
I made theBlonde see with a semi-clean dish towel,
lent her some powdered Bisque and white flour to touch up her makeup and threw her back into theMixxx!! again.
----------
I'm theSam!! and you'll all thank me for this later,
trust me.
---------
Oh when theSam!!
oh when theSam!!, comes stagring in,
oh when theSam!! comes staggering in,
oh Lawd I wanto be in thatKitchen,
when theSam!! comes stagring in
“He’s late for work again isn’t he!?” huffs theSousChef!!
And no one considers that I’m poor and use the bus system to get around,
and lately every bus has been late 20 to 40mins and it’s been that way for over 9 months now,
-----------
Back in theAlley!!
back in theAlley, feeling so low,
really hung over, big chunks I blow!!
“Soup’s on!!”, exclaims theleadLineChef!!
I still can’t believe some ServerGirls!! lost a $50 bill,
and two of us DMO’s took our trash cans apart piece by piece but never did find the lost $,
I still cringe when thinking of having put my Ungloved hands in one small trash can,
cos earlier an BarTender was heaving and wretching his guts into that can,
When I look at various training videos on some Food service websites,
They all say to stay home when you feel icky,
cos no one should be around food and or People when they’re feeling sick
or hungover!!
btw, I always shower after walking back to my Apt, I don’t care if it’s 2 or 3 in the morning and the water pipes jump and whine throughout theApt building when I shower, But my landlady understands.
-----------
For he’s a Jelly and Pickle!!
for he’s a jelly & pickle, for he’s a jelly and pickle
for he’s a jelly & pickle!!, and also chicken wings & thighs!!
“Run this scoop through theMachine, NOW!!” , PreggoServerGirl!!
I love those girls and I jump when they want something.
They eat for 2 and deserve much respect for being Mothers!!
Though, if I were in their shoes, I think I’d wanna eat steak & potatos,
soup and salads, breads and butters with jams,
I’d down all the steamed veggies, finish the Spinach and corn,
fish, lamb, even oysters!!
But noooooo,
they gotta step into theDryGoodsStorage room and look for pickles,
Relish, Mayo,
They dice up sweet peppers and washed onions,
mince in bacon crumbles and sprinkle with vinegar and eat a loaf of HouseBread
and then go for theIce cream!!
I’ll be scared when I get accosted by a Masked preggo chick!! late late at night after I start walking back home and I get robbed of my box food, have my spinach and steak taken from me,
When I get run over or shot for my meatloaf, am stripped of cheesecake crumbs and mashed potators!! You'll all know why!!
trust me,
I fight for my left over alcohol,
I fight for my salads and my left over dessert crumbs.
When I die, finally,
I'll be stuffing my mouth with restaurant food just to have a final taste!!
--------
AmazingFace!!
amazing face, saw from theGround,
that employed a vagrant like me!!
I once was sober, but now I’m drunk,
I drink till I can’t see!!
“you, You, YOU,
and....... Hey.
You looking for work?! I need someone right now buddy!!”,
theFace!! aka theHotHRgirl that hired me.
Part of the reason that theFoodService industry is so transient, and I mean that people come and go all the time,
is the low low pay and the image of it being a dead end job.
Sure it pays next to nothing and often just covers the bills!!
But, I see it as an important thing to do,
After all, People eat at theBars & restaurants where I work and even I am known to sit down as a paying customer where I work,
I don’t want anyone getting sick from unclean dishes, so I take the time to run and reRun, and ReRun any unclean ware & glass through the Machines,
I always change my starched shirts after taking out wet trash and nothing ticks me off more than seeing an Chef or any FoodPrep worker wearing Soiled white shirts,
that just irritates me, if you LOOK unclean and people see you hugging plates and glass as you transport clean ware to the front line then they think everything else about you is suspect,
Being clean and presentable is another reason why I cut my long hair off recently.
I am clean in day to day life, and I smell nice now and then cos I buy those body sprays from Aveda,
And I keep my hair clean and pulled back,
But I cut my hair off and little by little, I move on up in being able to work with food more and more in one Bar.
I abide by rules when exploring something new,
after that I figure I can bend some rules but for now, I’m keeping my hair short.
and keeping all this in mind,
Many others like me are in Food service and in this capacity we enjoy serving others.
For me it's also a way to "EAT" steady and I love the kids too.
Sure I've had a few Dummo's walk off the job and leave me,
sure I've been yelled at and threatened by a few disgruntled former coworkers,
but I can deal with all that,
You bring with you what hopes and dreams you have,
you bring with you your talents and strengths you've developed to this job.
What you did previously helps you NOW.
And I am glad to be working with some really cool kids,
I've got some great bosses, some great supervisors.
If anything I've learned while working in Bars & Restaurants is-Don't judge a book by it's cover.
Get to know the people first.
---------------
theSteakHouse!!
I went down to theSteakHouse!!, fell down on my knees
I went down to theSteakHouse!!, fell down on my knees
I axed DummoSam!! to have mercy, Pick me up if you please!!
Standing there at theSteakHouse!!, tried to call a cab!!
standing there at theSteakHouse!!, tried to flag a ride,
No one stopped for me, they just passed me by!!
Ok I’ll stop.
And if people wouldn’t spill fluids all over the place none of theServerGirls!! and chefs would fall now would they!?
My hands cramp up now when I sleep, cos of the work I’m doing,
grabbing this, holding that,
Reaching for my fave BarGirl!! or serverChick!! d:oP
and if that isn’t adventure enough,
try to hail a cab after Midnight in downtown Anchorage.
Try to hail a cab while some drunken Native hits you up for $,
begs for smokes and wants a drink of your Pop while you’re on theCellphone to the taxi company.
One guy followed me across the street and waved at cabs passing,
I was going to punch him and stepped towards him but he got scared and ran away,
oooooooooooo I hate annoying drunks!!
I’m Native too, and I now Drink,
but at least I’m working and keeping my life in order instead of being Vagrant and being in jail.
I take care of myself.
----------
OK!!!!
I’m theSam!! and tomorrow is Christmas Eve 2007!!
More Billboard Favorites with theSam!!
this weeks installment of VillageTales has us going back to yesterday,
back to Sobriety in fact,
Back before I ever set foot in a restaurant or, quite frankly, a bar for that matter to work.
I honestly think that this List of music favorites only stayed on theBillboard so long cos of theBarMgr sneaking bacon bits off theHolding rack,
realized that her fingers were sticky from her saliva,
she has to grab a handtowel cos theDummoSam!! / dishMachineOperator is out of reach,
else she’d just use his linen jacket sleeves (again)
but then she slips on the wet kitchen floor and sticks out a hand to steady herself and smacks theBillboard wall leaving traces of saliva, bacon bit crumbs and Thusly,
this List is forever fastened to theBillboard and subsequently covered up by weeks and weeks of ShiftSchedules, EventNotices and handbills,
33 weeks of postings to be exact!!, when finally theCorkboard gives up theGhost!! and smacks!! to the floor in a broken heap
and theDummo!!’s have to clean up the mess right along with moving 40 dinner plates , 2dozen boats, 6 trays of steak and more frozen crab up front,
We're running silverware (again), taking OUT theTrash!!, unclogging theSinks, signing up for 401K’s and voting on year end insurance dividends for company headquarters,
We're seeing that theMini-Salad station is fully stocked and we pause our dishWashing to train the new kids that were just hired to Oversee the disgruntled Guests
as THEY PREP their own salads and / or refire their steaks in theMini-EZ bake oven!! Some guests are unable to be pleased,
That guy from “HellsKitchen” tv show would quit his yelling and go into bus driving or become a Transient if he were to cook for thePetiteNapkin!!’s customers,
Even theIronChef!!’s on tv’s food channel would commit hariKari after stepping into our Kitchen, $30K days are quite hectic and everyone’s running non stop, except for me,
You could slow-Motion theKitchen with a camera and play it back at High speed,
I’m the One moving normally and everyone else is just a blur!!
I'm sneaking cheesecake crumbs, grazing from theBread bins, cajoling and coaxing left over alcohol from theServerGirls!! etc.
And along with all this activity that we DishWashers do on a daily basis,
did I mention that we're busy healing theSick!!, raising theDead!!, walking on water, expelling rodents, quelling Natural disasters and even making theBlind see!?
did I, did I huh!?
I swear I’m gonna start smoking just so I can go outside for 15mins every 2hrs.
It sucks being theLead DishWasher sometimes,
cos when an young Dummo!! sips and nips unused alcohol from theServerTrays into oblivion and hides in theService elevator,
Someone’s gotta coffee him up and light a fire under his ass so he’ll work at least till Midnight,
and I’m still quietly resuscitating my previous Careers!! while I wash dishes downtown, that’s theRaisingTheDead part I speak of....
and theWalking on water claims.
I really DO!! I walk on water every shift,
and then at closing time, we pick up theMats off the floor, do pick them up from out of the 3” deep water and run them through theMachine!!
and I don’t really expell rodents, but I do stomp and finger-crush cockroaches.
The PetiteNapkin!! hires professional bug fumigators every 3 months, nobody will listen to my suggestions of just torching thePlace!! and starting over again.
As for theNatural disasters, when theService elevator gets so full of trash, boxes and Linen bags sometimes the stack of debris will shift and then fall under it’s own weight,
Kinda like one HottieServerGirl did when one day her ego got too big for her body and she collapsed before our eyes!! She's now assisting Admin and even Hiring and Firing people too, she loves her new job.
I have to clean theElevator out while doing all the above mentioned activities. (aaaaagggghhhh!!!!!!! / screams loudly)
I was amused though, when ServerLinsey tried to squeeze the last drop of Mayo from the squirt bottle, she looked in the dispenserTip while squeezing & shaking and SPLAT!!
you have to wonder what she does at home after hours, cos she went Wild with fun and opened her mouth like she was in another Bukkake video!!
*sigh*
I made theBlonde see with a semi-clean dish towel,
lent her some powdered Bisque and white flour to touch up her makeup and threw her back into theMixxx!! again.
----------
I'm theSam!! and you'll all thank me for this later,
trust me.
---------
Oh when theSam!!
oh when theSam!!, comes stagring in,
oh when theSam!! comes staggering in,
oh Lawd I wanto be in thatKitchen,
when theSam!! comes stagring in
“He’s late for work again isn’t he!?” huffs theSousChef!!
And no one considers that I’m poor and use the bus system to get around,
and lately every bus has been late 20 to 40mins and it’s been that way for over 9 months now,
-----------
Back in theAlley!!
back in theAlley, feeling so low,
really hung over, big chunks I blow!!
“Soup’s on!!”, exclaims theleadLineChef!!
I still can’t believe some ServerGirls!! lost a $50 bill,
and two of us DMO’s took our trash cans apart piece by piece but never did find the lost $,
I still cringe when thinking of having put my Ungloved hands in one small trash can,
cos earlier an BarTender was heaving and wretching his guts into that can,
When I look at various training videos on some Food service websites,
They all say to stay home when you feel icky,
cos no one should be around food and or People when they’re feeling sick
or hungover!!
btw, I always shower after walking back to my Apt, I don’t care if it’s 2 or 3 in the morning and the water pipes jump and whine throughout theApt building when I shower, But my landlady understands.
-----------
For he’s a Jelly and Pickle!!
for he’s a jelly & pickle, for he’s a jelly and pickle
for he’s a jelly & pickle!!, and also chicken wings & thighs!!
“Run this scoop through theMachine, NOW!!” , PreggoServerGirl!!
I love those girls and I jump when they want something.
They eat for 2 and deserve much respect for being Mothers!!
Though, if I were in their shoes, I think I’d wanna eat steak & potatos,
soup and salads, breads and butters with jams,
I’d down all the steamed veggies, finish the Spinach and corn,
fish, lamb, even oysters!!
But noooooo,
they gotta step into theDryGoodsStorage room and look for pickles,
Relish, Mayo,
They dice up sweet peppers and washed onions,
mince in bacon crumbles and sprinkle with vinegar and eat a loaf of HouseBread
and then go for theIce cream!!
I’ll be scared when I get accosted by a Masked preggo chick!! late late at night after I start walking back home and I get robbed of my box food, have my spinach and steak taken from me,
When I get run over or shot for my meatloaf, am stripped of cheesecake crumbs and mashed potators!! You'll all know why!!
trust me,
I fight for my left over alcohol,
I fight for my salads and my left over dessert crumbs.
When I die, finally,
I'll be stuffing my mouth with restaurant food just to have a final taste!!
--------
AmazingFace!!
amazing face, saw from theGround,
that employed a vagrant like me!!
I once was sober, but now I’m drunk,
I drink till I can’t see!!
“you, You, YOU,
and....... Hey.
You looking for work?! I need someone right now buddy!!”,
theFace!! aka theHotHRgirl that hired me.
Part of the reason that theFoodService industry is so transient, and I mean that people come and go all the time,
is the low low pay and the image of it being a dead end job.
Sure it pays next to nothing and often just covers the bills!!
But, I see it as an important thing to do,
After all, People eat at theBars & restaurants where I work and even I am known to sit down as a paying customer where I work,
I don’t want anyone getting sick from unclean dishes, so I take the time to run and reRun, and ReRun any unclean ware & glass through the Machines,
I always change my starched shirts after taking out wet trash and nothing ticks me off more than seeing an Chef or any FoodPrep worker wearing Soiled white shirts,
that just irritates me, if you LOOK unclean and people see you hugging plates and glass as you transport clean ware to the front line then they think everything else about you is suspect,
Being clean and presentable is another reason why I cut my long hair off recently.
I am clean in day to day life, and I smell nice now and then cos I buy those body sprays from Aveda,
And I keep my hair clean and pulled back,
But I cut my hair off and little by little, I move on up in being able to work with food more and more in one Bar.
I abide by rules when exploring something new,
after that I figure I can bend some rules but for now, I’m keeping my hair short.
and keeping all this in mind,
Many others like me are in Food service and in this capacity we enjoy serving others.
For me it's also a way to "EAT" steady and I love the kids too.
Sure I've had a few Dummo's walk off the job and leave me,
sure I've been yelled at and threatened by a few disgruntled former coworkers,
but I can deal with all that,
You bring with you what hopes and dreams you have,
you bring with you your talents and strengths you've developed to this job.
What you did previously helps you NOW.
And I am glad to be working with some really cool kids,
I've got some great bosses, some great supervisors.
If anything I've learned while working in Bars & Restaurants is-Don't judge a book by it's cover.
Get to know the people first.
---------------
theSteakHouse!!
I went down to theSteakHouse!!, fell down on my knees
I went down to theSteakHouse!!, fell down on my knees
I axed DummoSam!! to have mercy, Pick me up if you please!!
Standing there at theSteakHouse!!, tried to call a cab!!
standing there at theSteakHouse!!, tried to flag a ride,
No one stopped for me, they just passed me by!!
Ok I’ll stop.
And if people wouldn’t spill fluids all over the place none of theServerGirls!! and chefs would fall now would they!?
My hands cramp up now when I sleep, cos of the work I’m doing,
grabbing this, holding that,
Reaching for my fave BarGirl!! or serverChick!! d:oP
and if that isn’t adventure enough,
try to hail a cab after Midnight in downtown Anchorage.
Try to hail a cab while some drunken Native hits you up for $,
begs for smokes and wants a drink of your Pop while you’re on theCellphone to the taxi company.
One guy followed me across the street and waved at cabs passing,
I was going to punch him and stepped towards him but he got scared and ran away,
oooooooooooo I hate annoying drunks!!
I’m Native too, and I now Drink,
but at least I’m working and keeping my life in order instead of being Vagrant and being in jail.
I take care of myself.
----------
OK!!!!
I’m theSam!! and tomorrow is Christmas Eve 2007!!
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