May It Be!!

May It Be!!

and if it doesn't ever happen, Just Blog about like it did and no one will ever know theDifference anyway!!

X:oP -lil MoselyMoose!!

Hi everyone, it's me theAlterEgo of my master, an Stuffed toy,
MoselyMoose here, or Har!! no.. Hair...
that's it.

Yous hoomons and your language,
too much "Mouthing" / speaking and not enough eating willow bark and hib.. hibi..
hibicus...

no...

Hibiscus herbs!!

there, got it. Cos us Moose love to eat willow trees, flowers and moss.
And another thing, Ya gotta eat firewweed too and not just look at it as a sign on summer "dying" and fall approaching.

Us Meese in theWild, look at theFireweed and see it as a sign of More of Us "dying" when winter snow comes and we slip slide on Ice and umm... Cars approaching.

*sigh*

anyways,
I see that I speak tooooooo soon.
about too much mouthing and not enough eating though.

I mean,
Have you ever gone to work at theBar with my Master!?

Holy smokes,
you got literally 100's of bipeds all sitting around and eating hoomon foods.

Just yesterday theMaster took me to where he "does theDamn deeshes" and talk about fun!!

I loved it when thePreggo serverGirl was waving a giant crab around at everyone in theKitchen,

But this female wasn't having a breakdown moment, unlike some Meese females I've seen out in theWoods,

This hoomon female was finding humor in seeing everyone's reaction to theCrab and my Master wasn't afraid.

In fact he took theAlien creature in hand and finger tapped theHard shell.
If it's claws weren't rubber bonded toegether, it would have pinched his big nose!!

THAT I wold have loved to see?!

I dunno.
something about masters sense of hoomer.
he keeps joking about Crabs, "she gave me theCrabs",
"and she's got crabs, Now Everybody "Clap!!"

what gives about boxes and boxes of seafood and striking your appendages together?!
I don't get it.
??

Later on when Master was digging through theTrash,
cos one of thoese foureign legion bourne chicks LOST her receipts in the trash,
I saw the former crabs Hard shell,

only thing, he wasn't IN it.

I heard he didn't suffer, He went headfirst into theBoiling pot master says.

anyway,
back to theGutteral talking Foreign chicks!!
There's two of them, and you know,

when You're out in the dessert and see theHorizon, and all the Heatwaves shimmer and move, dance and boil!?

Well, it seems those cute girls just drink down so much vodka and wine that this same effect happens when you look at them!!
The vapors just roll off dem!!

I donno. Master goes googoo eyed over dem.
he dropps everything and listens when they're around but hafe the time THEY ignoore him?!

ha ha ha...
I like going to work with Master.
But I don't like being kidnapped by theServerGirls!!

Cos I've been away from Masters messy appointment for over a month,
was busy having too much fun without Internet, without tv and shopping.

oooo.
tons of shopping. Those server girls are fun to be with I suppose,
even when they got NO money, they still write Chexx and use their plastic every day.....
And. they also use those ATM cards.

I wish Master had his long hair again,
at least I could "Imangine" him being a woman, but his hair's so short now,
It's like he's in theMilitary alllll over again.

I mean,
I had to go OUT of theApt room,
go OUT side and double check where we Live just to mick sure that I was at the right undress!!

yepperx.
Well.

here's some toothpaste fro...
here's some smoothpas....

??!

Here's, an. "Cut and Paste" from my email account.

an sort of Moose' version or Platitudes,

though Mister calls it, a signature,
a collection of sayings, an Maxxim or two if you will
as final Insult to everyone you send mail too,

whell. that desribes theMaster!!
he insults alot via email.

I..
I mean, he signatues a lot via email!!
X:o)

I'll include more May It Be's after theOriginal and hope that you Hoomons can
understand what I'm saying.
Your language is very hard to understand much lass right.

That's another thing I loved about being kidnapped awhile by those Chicks.
Thay all said. "OOOohhhh, Yeesss. Oh God... OHHH!!" just about every night too.

very simple vocabulary, simple minds actually.
I miss them.

Ok...
I'll write more sometime when Master is asleep.
Except right now he's NOT asleep,
he's drooling over an Sarea McClachlan piano moosic book.

Actually, I kindof like it having to see Master with short hair.
Cos I hated it when he'd dress up like that Evenansche..
like that one Goth chick and play piano on his keyboard.

It was funny to see im with black maiscara on,
(see what theVillage!! has done to master!?)

At least, in my absence from theAppt here, Masters gotten better at piano & guitar,
He's still hideous on theViolin!!
I'm so glad my ears don't really work, I'm just a toy!!

later peeps,
theMose!!

'lil MoselyMoose!!
uu (my signature Moose tracks)
X:oP (my ascii photo with tongue out!!)

May It Be!!
----------------
from theHoove of the zaniest Moose in Alaska!!:
-Live from theTop book Shelf, and hiding theTV remote from theMaster.

-an Cotton T-Shirt over Cotton-twill-poly blend body, Felt Antlers, Plastic Eyes and Kapok innards!!
oh.. and an MadeInChina tag on my butt.

-all theGirls love me!!

-Moose's Prayer
May your future be shiny, high beamed halogen bright!
your face be proud and discerning, like that Lexxus grill before it hit my Dad.

Your blood run through your veins hot and true, then cold and weak like that driver of theLexxus after he bounced off my Dad!!

your voice be heard clear and steady, like that OnStar operators queries after theCrash and your response was gurgled and frothy.

your life so shine to others an beacon of hope, burning brightly for others to see,

like theCar fire after you careened off the road and into that stand of deadfall, and for 4 months your 200,000acre fire employed Thousands, clothed needy kids and fed many hungry mouths,

loves, MoselyMoose!!
---------

May It Be!!
That your Kettle you lose and then find be the metal pot kind.
As theKettel!! that Master found toast....
tossed out in the trash cos it was old was, in his own words,

"A Godsend!!"

Lord, that "Kettel 1" bottle was 3 feet tal and half full,
Guess that explains him going to work early for awhole month!!
-------

May It Be!!
That your "Be's" arent actually the real kind of Bees!!

Cos one inet friend of theMaster told him of an place that sells swarms of angry bees, You just donate to that nonProfit and tell them where they can send boxes of Bee's,

Man, you never seen Master quip out his Creditcard faster than when wipped womenz dot com had a Half off sale on 2006yr close out downloads!!

I wonder whom he's going to send those Boxes of angry Bee's too?!

I love my Master, feeding a village for 3 months, supporting a realLife nonProfit AND econimacally (if not comically)

equipping and supporting another alaskan Village with swarms and swarms of Bee's on a biblical scale!!
--------

May It Be!!
that Your Evening Star have nothing to do with falling down on ice!!

As that is what happened to Master on his way back to this messy Apt last night,

and get this.
He was sober!!

not a drop of alcohol in his system either, as he's full of old age,
cynicism and treachery at the ripe of old age of 40,

May your evening star be ones to guide you, blah-blah-blah...
and not the small ones dancing in your field of view for a moment.

May It Be!!
that theOnly case of Crabs you get,

are theOnes you SIGN for, for and Behalf of theExecutive Chef, as theDeliverDriver impatiently waits.

And while you're at it, try and dumb 'em down for the next orders for Calimari, Fish filets and......

(drum roll please!!!)...... Freedom Fries!!

May It Be!!

that when theBarTenders need to reorder Disposeable Mouthpieces for their complimentary Intoxilyzer / Breathalyzer FuelCell system for all bar patrons,

That theLeadServerGirl!! doesn't fudge on the order and get those jumbo white Drinking straws instead,

I mean, technically, YES.
You do blow through a really thick white straw on thePortable device, but there's a major difference here, it's 4" long, it's not made for drinking through and...

The "HOLE" is premade Already for attachment to theBreathalyzer device and you don't have to get theDrinking Straws from theBar!! all bent out of shape and plain out Icky by touching them trying to get a hole cut.

I mean, come on!!
Half theHigh end eateries in Downtown are conglomerate owned and everyone's trying to save $, but cutting corners like this is just rediculous,

the only things in theBar!! that should get out of shape-is theCustomers!!
---------

May It Be!!

that no matter what you have done in the past, that you Never EVER put out any sort of Platitudes or Slogans upon any T's or Caps for all to see, read and make fun of.

To that end,
I hope that I never ever see stuff like this on Master's clothes:

-DMO / Dishwash Machine Operator
EAT, SLEEP, ....go to JobBank on Gamble St when time allows!!

-Conquer theBeast!! (front shirt logo)
and on back of shirt is photo of Latest HOTTEST ServerGirl!! that you're mad at.

-SousChef in Training!!
Ready to "Roll", (front shirt logo is a bakers pan of Bread rolls)

-My Other Car is.....
an logo of a pair of HipWaders!! (representing the hours of standing in backed up Dishwater and food muck) or..

an logo of theBus!! that NEVER comes on time to get you to work.

-Honk if you can give me.....
a ride to work!!

-I love.....
"DishWater!!" dirty blondes.

-My company makes tens of Thousands of dollars a week in sales.....
and all they give me to wear is a flimsy ChefShirt and an lousy apron.
-----------

I'm not done yet!!
----------

May It Be!!
that any "reports" that you end up writing end up as Blogs!!
------

X:oO !!

I'm MoselyMoose and that's that!!
------

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