theSam!! answers an Keg's List Personal ad
theSam!! Posts an Keg's List Personal ad!!
(ehh... to Himself!!)
I found it!!
I mean,
I found HER!! my dream womonzez.
an KegList posten reeds like dis:
"i am looking for serious relationship,
i man that will take good cares of me"
----------
tongue-out
theSam!! will answer soon like this:
"im also on da lookout for Seras,
he's got an $5000 arrest warrant,
And amen too sister,
glad to see that you want to be good
taken cares of..."
Blank Stare
----------
and here's some more KegList postens wit deSam!! commintry
----------
Hi --
(Hey you!!)
I'm 38, pretty, secure job and single. My child has flown the nest and I'm situated to buy or build a home in the Valley next spring.
(wow, you must be in DOC or else Police, cos lately, those pretty much really hardcore SECURE jobs as of late.
Blank Stare,
and, you're a bird!?
I can live with that, just don't be pickin' at my hair to build a nest)
I'm looking for a tall, honest man.
(sometimes sweetheart, I find myself looking for the same thing!!
only thing is, the men I look for are DisHonest and need to be brought before theVillageTribalCourt!!)
I'm very loving and giving, but not if you're a cheater. I just purchased my last boyfriend a Harley Davidson Midnight Train (took 7 months to pay off!!!) and he never got a chance to see it because I caught him cheating/lying/with other women.
What a waste! So looking for a guy who can appreciate a hard-working girl with a big heart. I LOVE SEX IF YOU ARE FAITHFUL TO ME.
My last boyfriend ruined our sex life because I couldn't trust him and so I never wanted to have sex for fear he was bringing home some disease. I DON'T SLEEP AROUND!!!
I am devoted, faithful, bring home the loving and the money.
( WTH theSam!! likes to peek early when playing "Peek-a-Boob!!, I'm a cheat sorry,
and theOther day I visited a starbucks and never heard theEnd of it from theBaristaGals!! that worked for theOther coffee house just down the street where I'm a regular, when "someone's little sister saw me" from 2 blocks away
sheeesh, some females are very territorial about their money.
Just pay off my Violin, get me some pedals for my Electric guitar, upgrade my cellphone service pack to an Strobe!! and open up an account at SBS or HomesDepot, cos I'm gonna build "Us" an massageTable that'll support you & me!!
And I'll grind you your own set of Crystal massage therapy stones and basalt hot stone massage rocks,
I never sleep around either, I stay awake!! and I'd rather you bring home "Food" first, I luvCheesCake!!
Raspberry)
I want a guy who'd like to share the experience of building a home together. Someone who wants to do a bit of traveling, who likes to kick back and relax in the evenings.
I would enjoy going out dancing because my ex never took me anywhere!!!! I'm even happy to pay for half, too.
Show me a good time, I've forgotten how to have fun!!!!
(hhhmmmm. Thinking
You're not one of those "SweatEquity" types are you?!
theSam!! lived next door to two femal...
to two of "Them!!" in seattle one time and it was sooo cute watching them build their house of love!!
Tongue out
I don't like to travel much, I might hit a moose, though I've zoomed past several while driving, my time to hit one is coming-I just know it.
And as long as you don't kick back,, erh.. Kick me things will be fine,
Do you mind ankle / leg restraints!?, being suspended upside down and whipped?!
But you must love "slow-dancing" in theShower!! as I'm most comfortable there, trust me, after living in theVillage!! and chasing & catching pretty much everyone at one time or other,
I can catch a greased pig and hold it with my thumb & pinky!! I can hold anyone.
And after "dancing" I'll be huddling in the corner, mascara running, raccoon eyes, sobbing.....
Uh..
you must use only Maybells mascara and..
Can I borrow your mascara!?
OMG... I forgot too!! umm. Forgot how to have fun that is.
Instead we'd just ride theBus since you want to go out.
Get your flu shots, update your Hep, MMR, typhoid, rabies and...
and start drinking too!!
cos thePeeps we gonna be arount while in Bus transit,
they got all kinds of Ickies!!)
I will make it my job to make you happy if you can be loyal, faithful and an equal partner to me.
( WTH
are you a dog?! cos I'm hearing a lot of "loyal, faithful",
Perhaps you're an stateTrooper!! but no..
you haven't used "Integrity, Courage" as those are Trooper buzzwords.
LOL...
equal. you must weigh as much as me,,,
no.. that sounded funny at first but then it stopped,
scratch that!!
I don't like being called big.)
Oh, and I'm converting to only eating natural, organic, non-processed foods. I'd like to try it for a year. Want to try it with me?
( WTF
We better be "Traveling" to exotic places like, Rome, Spain, France, Italy, Dubai,, wait. I've already been there,
But all I'm saying is, that with all the horrid food we gonna eat, we'd better make up for it by traveling and having fun!!
meehhh-You're probably in a cult.
heeeyy!!.... Tongue out
breastmilk is unprocessed!!)
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OF YOU HONEST DECENT MEN WHO ARE ALONE THIS YEAR!!!!!
( WTF
you better have on an cheerleading outfit when you say this,
How can you cheer on loneliness?!
but then again, some of those girls can tell you you got cancer and you'd hop right along with them....((kidding.. kidding))
*sob..*
excuse me while I step into theShower...
*sniffle*
---------------------------------
LOL
well.
I need to sleep a few hours then I'll be UP again all day.
I gotta go,
have fun with your day and remember not to take yourselfs toooo seriously,
you know I never do.
lovs,
theSam!! Sad
-theSam!! STILL NOT wanted in 300+ Villages and 48, 49...50 States!
-theVillage!! take our VPSO for free please!
-theBottle!! Throw out theBarrel and Tap me!!
-theVillage!! Still good (mostly) and still for sale!!, 4doz VillageChixxx!! included!!
d:oP
(ehh... to Himself!!)
I found it!!
I mean,
I found HER!! my dream womonzez.
an KegList posten reeds like dis:
"i am looking for serious relationship,
i man that will take good cares of me"
----------
tongue-out
theSam!! will answer soon like this:
"im also on da lookout for Seras,
he's got an $5000 arrest warrant,
And amen too sister,
glad to see that you want to be good
taken cares of..."
Blank Stare
----------
and here's some more KegList postens wit deSam!! commintry
----------
Hi --
(Hey you!!)
I'm 38, pretty, secure job and single. My child has flown the nest and I'm situated to buy or build a home in the Valley next spring.
(wow, you must be in DOC or else Police, cos lately, those pretty much really hardcore SECURE jobs as of late.
Blank Stare,
and, you're a bird!?
I can live with that, just don't be pickin' at my hair to build a nest)
I'm looking for a tall, honest man.
(sometimes sweetheart, I find myself looking for the same thing!!
only thing is, the men I look for are DisHonest and need to be brought before theVillageTribalCourt!!)
I'm very loving and giving, but not if you're a cheater. I just purchased my last boyfriend a Harley Davidson Midnight Train (took 7 months to pay off!!!) and he never got a chance to see it because I caught him cheating/lying/with other women.
What a waste! So looking for a guy who can appreciate a hard-working girl with a big heart. I LOVE SEX IF YOU ARE FAITHFUL TO ME.
My last boyfriend ruined our sex life because I couldn't trust him and so I never wanted to have sex for fear he was bringing home some disease. I DON'T SLEEP AROUND!!!
I am devoted, faithful, bring home the loving and the money.
( WTH theSam!! likes to peek early when playing "Peek-a-Boob!!, I'm a cheat sorry,
and theOther day I visited a starbucks and never heard theEnd of it from theBaristaGals!! that worked for theOther coffee house just down the street where I'm a regular, when "someone's little sister saw me" from 2 blocks away
sheeesh, some females are very territorial about their money.
Just pay off my Violin, get me some pedals for my Electric guitar, upgrade my cellphone service pack to an Strobe!! and open up an account at SBS or HomesDepot, cos I'm gonna build "Us" an massageTable that'll support you & me!!
And I'll grind you your own set of Crystal massage therapy stones and basalt hot stone massage rocks,
I never sleep around either, I stay awake!! and I'd rather you bring home "Food" first, I luvCheesCake!!
Raspberry)
I want a guy who'd like to share the experience of building a home together. Someone who wants to do a bit of traveling, who likes to kick back and relax in the evenings.
I would enjoy going out dancing because my ex never took me anywhere!!!! I'm even happy to pay for half, too.
Show me a good time, I've forgotten how to have fun!!!!
(hhhmmmm. Thinking
You're not one of those "SweatEquity" types are you?!
theSam!! lived next door to two femal...
to two of "Them!!" in seattle one time and it was sooo cute watching them build their house of love!!
Tongue out
I don't like to travel much, I might hit a moose, though I've zoomed past several while driving, my time to hit one is coming-I just know it.
And as long as you don't kick back,, erh.. Kick me things will be fine,
Do you mind ankle / leg restraints!?, being suspended upside down and whipped?!
But you must love "slow-dancing" in theShower!! as I'm most comfortable there, trust me, after living in theVillage!! and chasing & catching pretty much everyone at one time or other,
I can catch a greased pig and hold it with my thumb & pinky!! I can hold anyone.
And after "dancing" I'll be huddling in the corner, mascara running, raccoon eyes, sobbing.....
Uh..
you must use only Maybells mascara and..
Can I borrow your mascara!?
OMG... I forgot too!! umm. Forgot how to have fun that is.
Instead we'd just ride theBus since you want to go out.
Get your flu shots, update your Hep, MMR, typhoid, rabies and...
and start drinking too!!
cos thePeeps we gonna be arount while in Bus transit,
they got all kinds of Ickies!!)
I will make it my job to make you happy if you can be loyal, faithful and an equal partner to me.
( WTH
are you a dog?! cos I'm hearing a lot of "loyal, faithful",
Perhaps you're an stateTrooper!! but no..
you haven't used "Integrity, Courage" as those are Trooper buzzwords.
LOL...
equal. you must weigh as much as me,,,
no.. that sounded funny at first but then it stopped,
scratch that!!
I don't like being called big.)
Oh, and I'm converting to only eating natural, organic, non-processed foods. I'd like to try it for a year. Want to try it with me?
( WTF
We better be "Traveling" to exotic places like, Rome, Spain, France, Italy, Dubai,, wait. I've already been there,
But all I'm saying is, that with all the horrid food we gonna eat, we'd better make up for it by traveling and having fun!!
meehhh-You're probably in a cult.
heeeyy!!.... Tongue out
breastmilk is unprocessed!!)
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OF YOU HONEST DECENT MEN WHO ARE ALONE THIS YEAR!!!!!
( WTF
you better have on an cheerleading outfit when you say this,
How can you cheer on loneliness?!
but then again, some of those girls can tell you you got cancer and you'd hop right along with them....((kidding.. kidding))
*sob..*
excuse me while I step into theShower...
*sniffle*
---------------------------------
LOL
well.
I need to sleep a few hours then I'll be UP again all day.
I gotta go,
have fun with your day and remember not to take yourselfs toooo seriously,
you know I never do.
lovs,
theSam!! Sad
-theSam!! STILL NOT wanted in 300+ Villages and 48, 49...50 States!
-theVillage!! take our VPSO for free please!
-theBottle!! Throw out theBarrel and Tap me!!
-theVillage!! Still good (mostly) and still for sale!!, 4doz VillageChixxx!! included!!
d:oP
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