Ask Me Three!!
-theVillage!!
Lose Weight Now!!, ask me How!!
as everyone knows we gain from 110lbs on up to 250lbs at any given time and spend Days to Years trying to shed theVPSO weight!!
but we always succeed,
what's a few fattyCells when it means we get to stay OUT of theVillageHoldingCell!?
-theVillage!!
one Hand in theVPSO's pocket and one arm around theKidz!!
-theVillage!!
Welcome to theReal(ly Hazy, warm & Fuzzy) World!!
-theVillage!!
has worked with great officers like......
well... That one state troop......
and that other RideAlong of his... mr Sa.... mr S A.....
hmmmpphh!!
Guess we haven't worked with greatness yet!!
-theVillage!!
having already traveled down theRoad,
we send our cousins "back" to thePlace where we pitched theBooze!!
into theTrees!!
-theVillage!!
Listen, to theChaos!!
Watch, theMadness!!
Live, way better than us!!
-theVillage!!
citing theSam!! as a major reason "of our Indifference",
he cared so much, we thought, what theHey!!, go theOther Way.
-theVillage!!
not only piercing our Own Noses,
not only placing theRing!! in septum,
but even leading ourselves about by theNose!!
having cited theSam!! as a major reason to be.....
-theVillage!!
over 40+ houses, 68 sheds, 100+ vehicles,
38 SledDog Yards, 50 foodSmokeHouses, 7 business bldgs,
3 Lodges, and 1 working SnowMachine / MotorBoat....
toChoose from!!
-theVillage!!
rubberNecking our Own scenes and yet,
moving along as well.
-theVillage!!
theWay we Am!!
-theVillage!!
releasing boys and Girls from school sometime after 3pm
and then reReleasing boys and Girls from VPSO Detention sometime after 7pm, 10:30p.m.,
1a.m., 3a.m. like clockWork!!
-theVillage!!
If You Love Your VPSO, Set Them Free!!
albeit, after much vandalism, abuse, threats, criticism, ostracism.
-theVillage!!
a Weapon for Every Mood!!
a sack of Flour, a rock, a Stiletto pump!!,
a full 50Gal barrel of oil!! (granma threw that one Sam!!)
a cold shoulder, a frozen Salmon, a brandished MooseLeg!!
We've not only Got It ALL.
We've pretty much brandished everything conceivable!!
-theVillage!!
Blue was meant for Us!! (black & blue; DVE / domesticViolenceEvent blue)
-theVillage!!
hear it first via theGrapeVine!!
then drink it first via an enterprising (and free on Bond!!) BootLegger!!
-theVillage!!
after a hoHum (yawn!!) debut of it's OfficerSam!!
theCritics!! raved incessantly,
theKidz popped corn and watched from theSidelines!! and
theOfficer repeated line after line,
pretty much day after day!! year..... aa ffff...ttt..er yy ee ---a----------r.
-theVillage!!
Vertical Lines are:
Trees,
Sam!!'s baton,
Sam!!'s legs,
my family's legs gathered round trying to keep theSam!! away from me!!
my sledDogs in Yard as I hide amongst them from Sam!!
-theVillage!!
Horizontal Lines are:
theTrees while my car is crashed and rolling Over,
Sam!!'s baton when I'm laying down on my side,
Sam!!'s legs, (again) to include those legs of my family or my dogs
-theVillage!!
always wondering what theSam!! did to us!!
-theVillage!!
still asking theSam!! 3 times!!
---------------------
Ask Me 3!!
----
Silly Questions for Your VillageHealth!!
Every time you get TalkedTo from a VPSO, a StateTroop, or any NonVillager!!
use theAskMeThree!! keshtuns to better understand your Village!!
1. What (theHell!?) Is YOUR Main Problem!!
2. What (theHell!?) do YOU Need to Do!?
3. Why is it Important (even though it really Isn't!!) for Me to (LOL, ROFLMAO) Do this!?
When to Ask Keshtons!!
You can ask these Queshtons when You see your VPSO,
your TribalCourtJudge,
your ProbationsOfficer / Parole Officer / Sam!!
-You can start immediately upon close physical contact by theSam!! or theArresting StateTroop and can keep on Whining throughout your 3+ hour Road Transport or during your free 35min plane ride!!
And if you raise such a fuss during HeloTransport, your Pilot & Assistant will stop everything and land Soonest to take You in Hand & by Baton!!
will answer your pertinent Questions and address your bleating concerns!!
-You prepare for an FST / FieldSobrietyTest!! or an reception of an UOF / UseOfForce!! procedure.
To ensure that your Officer gives you maximum attention, Keep drinking and toking in his / her presence and udderly refuse to
"Walk-the-Line heel to Toe",
refuse to "touch yourNose",
in fact-Run Away!!
This will ensure prompt caring response from your arresting Officers and quick courteous "Cuss"tomer service from You as your body spastic jerks and writhes in Tazered pain!!
You have the absolute right to have your questions answered,
Fight!! for these rights, and grab theOfficers by theLapel and make them tell you.
make them understand by Shouting loudly, spit if you must, Beat them with fists!!
What if I Ask and theSam!! still don't understand!?
Let your VPSO, theStateTroop arresting you know if you STILL don't know what You need to Do!!
Do this by keeping your hands away from theirs!!
Don't let them place you in Restraints, cos, without use of your hands your Questioning will go unheeded,
Grab a weapon, Grab THEIR weapons and tools on their belts or from their persons and scream even louder!!
If they attempt to let you ride in their nice patrol vehicle, Keep your feet apart and REFUSE to get inside!!
or once your are inside theVehicle, KICK OUT theWindows to let theOfficers hear you better!!
Kick and Scream!! Remember, you're fighting for your rights to Know!!
You might yell,
"What theFuck are you doing!?
Get theHell out of my house!!",
as often theOfficers totally go deaf when they start searching your home or car for weapons, crime scene evidence or for Drugs & Alcohol.
All you're doing is just asking for Clarification from their Commands given to you to "Settle down!!",
"show me Your hands!!,
Drop theWeapon!!,
let go of your Wife!!" etc
and you do this Clarifying and ReQuestioning just like we Say!!
three times, and then 3 times again,
and then three times more with emphasis upon physical action and appropriation of instruments to get your Point across!!
Who Needs to Ask Three!?
everyone wants help with VillageInformation!!
You're Not Alone, except for those times in theSquad car and the subsequent long ride to Jail.
But remember, you're a Villager!! and hundreds,
Thousands of others just like you have been where you (have most likely been before) are and others will follow in your staggered footsteps,
Lead by Example and set new Standards, Get new Arrest techniques named after you!!
Get new courtCases brought to reTrial if your case is bungled and be the one that Alaska (publicSafety most likely) will never ever forget!!
If things get confusing sometimes asking questions helps you to Stay well and get better!!
Erhh.
Stay incarcerated Well Past a lifeSpan of a Mosquito!! or better yet, to stay INSIDE well past the growth ring of an Oak Tree!!
maybe even past the LifeSpan of theOilPipeLine which, to date, hasn't died yet!!
Who Wants to Answer 3?!
Are you nervous to ask your local PublicSafety any questions!?
Don't be!!,
chances are that your SafetyOfficer's seen your cousin's or sisters hoobs or been "exposed" to much much more of your Family than you realize,
from just these "slips" of verbiage followed by gyrations and removals of clothes to tempt & get him to relent their Custody or get him to mess up
he probably knows more about your Village!! than your Great Grandparents do!!
(and wow!!)
You may be surprised to know that your VillageSafety team needs You to let them know that You need help.
erhh.. to Jail!!
and / or theE.R.
After all, direct threats to their own Safety, and repeated TribalCouncilBullyings, Pressure, Criticism and Ostracism and overall NonSupport from Everyone doesn't always let them know YOUR concerns.
You often need to "Show Them!!" (dumb bastards)
Thus, you need to take a few shots of Liquid Courage and with the help of your cowering (in fear) family and friends,
Grab a rifle, grab a shotgun and start firing it to attract attention!!
You want those Officers and theState!! to take notice of You ASAP!!
Remember, "ASAP" and with a little help from thePublicSafetyTeam you can then Rest In Peace!!
RIP!!
----
-R.I.P.-
Here Lies Villager Pete
a 3 pete, a deadBeat
who fired 3, shouted 3
hostaged 3 and held off 3
while beating 3
as he asked theState 3X
most violently.
----
luvs,
theSam!!
slflyinghorse
anchorage, alaska
-AlaskaVillageTales-
Lose Weight Now!!, ask me How!!
as everyone knows we gain from 110lbs on up to 250lbs at any given time and spend Days to Years trying to shed theVPSO weight!!
but we always succeed,
what's a few fattyCells when it means we get to stay OUT of theVillageHoldingCell!?
-theVillage!!
one Hand in theVPSO's pocket and one arm around theKidz!!
-theVillage!!
Welcome to theReal(ly Hazy, warm & Fuzzy) World!!
-theVillage!!
has worked with great officers like......
well... That one state troop......
and that other RideAlong of his... mr Sa.... mr S A.....
hmmmpphh!!
Guess we haven't worked with greatness yet!!
-theVillage!!
having already traveled down theRoad,
we send our cousins "back" to thePlace where we pitched theBooze!!
into theTrees!!
-theVillage!!
Listen, to theChaos!!
Watch, theMadness!!
Live, way better than us!!
-theVillage!!
citing theSam!! as a major reason "of our Indifference",
he cared so much, we thought, what theHey!!, go theOther Way.
-theVillage!!
not only piercing our Own Noses,
not only placing theRing!! in septum,
but even leading ourselves about by theNose!!
having cited theSam!! as a major reason to be.....
-theVillage!!
over 40+ houses, 68 sheds, 100+ vehicles,
38 SledDog Yards, 50 foodSmokeHouses, 7 business bldgs,
3 Lodges, and 1 working SnowMachine / MotorBoat....
toChoose from!!
-theVillage!!
rubberNecking our Own scenes and yet,
moving along as well.
-theVillage!!
theWay we Am!!
-theVillage!!
releasing boys and Girls from school sometime after 3pm
and then reReleasing boys and Girls from VPSO Detention sometime after 7pm, 10:30p.m.,
1a.m., 3a.m. like clockWork!!
-theVillage!!
If You Love Your VPSO, Set Them Free!!
albeit, after much vandalism, abuse, threats, criticism, ostracism.
-theVillage!!
a Weapon for Every Mood!!
a sack of Flour, a rock, a Stiletto pump!!,
a full 50Gal barrel of oil!! (granma threw that one Sam!!)
a cold shoulder, a frozen Salmon, a brandished MooseLeg!!
We've not only Got It ALL.
We've pretty much brandished everything conceivable!!
-theVillage!!
Blue was meant for Us!! (black & blue; DVE / domesticViolenceEvent blue)
-theVillage!!
hear it first via theGrapeVine!!
then drink it first via an enterprising (and free on Bond!!) BootLegger!!
-theVillage!!
after a hoHum (yawn!!) debut of it's OfficerSam!!
theCritics!! raved incessantly,
theKidz popped corn and watched from theSidelines!! and
theOfficer repeated line after line,
pretty much day after day!! year..... aa ffff...ttt..er yy ee ---a----------r.
-theVillage!!
Vertical Lines are:
Trees,
Sam!!'s baton,
Sam!!'s legs,
my family's legs gathered round trying to keep theSam!! away from me!!
my sledDogs in Yard as I hide amongst them from Sam!!
-theVillage!!
Horizontal Lines are:
theTrees while my car is crashed and rolling Over,
Sam!!'s baton when I'm laying down on my side,
Sam!!'s legs, (again) to include those legs of my family or my dogs
-theVillage!!
always wondering what theSam!! did to us!!
-theVillage!!
still asking theSam!! 3 times!!
---------------------
Ask Me 3!!
----
Silly Questions for Your VillageHealth!!
Every time you get TalkedTo from a VPSO, a StateTroop, or any NonVillager!!
use theAskMeThree!! keshtuns to better understand your Village!!
1. What (theHell!?) Is YOUR Main Problem!!
2. What (theHell!?) do YOU Need to Do!?
3. Why is it Important (even though it really Isn't!!) for Me to (LOL, ROFLMAO) Do this!?
When to Ask Keshtons!!
You can ask these Queshtons when You see your VPSO,
your TribalCourtJudge,
your ProbationsOfficer / Parole Officer / Sam!!
-You can start immediately upon close physical contact by theSam!! or theArresting StateTroop and can keep on Whining throughout your 3+ hour Road Transport or during your free 35min plane ride!!
And if you raise such a fuss during HeloTransport, your Pilot & Assistant will stop everything and land Soonest to take You in Hand & by Baton!!
will answer your pertinent Questions and address your bleating concerns!!
-You prepare for an FST / FieldSobrietyTest!! or an reception of an UOF / UseOfForce!! procedure.
To ensure that your Officer gives you maximum attention, Keep drinking and toking in his / her presence and udderly refuse to
"Walk-the-Line heel to Toe",
refuse to "touch yourNose",
in fact-Run Away!!
This will ensure prompt caring response from your arresting Officers and quick courteous "Cuss"tomer service from You as your body spastic jerks and writhes in Tazered pain!!
You have the absolute right to have your questions answered,
Fight!! for these rights, and grab theOfficers by theLapel and make them tell you.
make them understand by Shouting loudly, spit if you must, Beat them with fists!!
What if I Ask and theSam!! still don't understand!?
Let your VPSO, theStateTroop arresting you know if you STILL don't know what You need to Do!!
Do this by keeping your hands away from theirs!!
Don't let them place you in Restraints, cos, without use of your hands your Questioning will go unheeded,
Grab a weapon, Grab THEIR weapons and tools on their belts or from their persons and scream even louder!!
If they attempt to let you ride in their nice patrol vehicle, Keep your feet apart and REFUSE to get inside!!
or once your are inside theVehicle, KICK OUT theWindows to let theOfficers hear you better!!
Kick and Scream!! Remember, you're fighting for your rights to Know!!
You might yell,
"What theFuck are you doing!?
Get theHell out of my house!!",
as often theOfficers totally go deaf when they start searching your home or car for weapons, crime scene evidence or for Drugs & Alcohol.
All you're doing is just asking for Clarification from their Commands given to you to "Settle down!!",
"show me Your hands!!,
Drop theWeapon!!,
let go of your Wife!!" etc
and you do this Clarifying and ReQuestioning just like we Say!!
three times, and then 3 times again,
and then three times more with emphasis upon physical action and appropriation of instruments to get your Point across!!
Who Needs to Ask Three!?
everyone wants help with VillageInformation!!
You're Not Alone, except for those times in theSquad car and the subsequent long ride to Jail.
But remember, you're a Villager!! and hundreds,
Thousands of others just like you have been where you (have most likely been before) are and others will follow in your staggered footsteps,
Lead by Example and set new Standards, Get new Arrest techniques named after you!!
Get new courtCases brought to reTrial if your case is bungled and be the one that Alaska (publicSafety most likely) will never ever forget!!
If things get confusing sometimes asking questions helps you to Stay well and get better!!
Erhh.
Stay incarcerated Well Past a lifeSpan of a Mosquito!! or better yet, to stay INSIDE well past the growth ring of an Oak Tree!!
maybe even past the LifeSpan of theOilPipeLine which, to date, hasn't died yet!!
Who Wants to Answer 3?!
Are you nervous to ask your local PublicSafety any questions!?
Don't be!!,
chances are that your SafetyOfficer's seen your cousin's or sisters hoobs or been "exposed" to much much more of your Family than you realize,
from just these "slips" of verbiage followed by gyrations and removals of clothes to tempt & get him to relent their Custody or get him to mess up
he probably knows more about your Village!! than your Great Grandparents do!!
(and wow!!)
You may be surprised to know that your VillageSafety team needs You to let them know that You need help.
erhh.. to Jail!!
and / or theE.R.
After all, direct threats to their own Safety, and repeated TribalCouncilBullyings, Pressure, Criticism and Ostracism and overall NonSupport from Everyone doesn't always let them know YOUR concerns.
You often need to "Show Them!!" (dumb bastards)
Thus, you need to take a few shots of Liquid Courage and with the help of your cowering (in fear) family and friends,
Grab a rifle, grab a shotgun and start firing it to attract attention!!
You want those Officers and theState!! to take notice of You ASAP!!
Remember, "ASAP" and with a little help from thePublicSafetyTeam you can then Rest In Peace!!
RIP!!
----
-R.I.P.-
Here Lies Villager Pete
a 3 pete, a deadBeat
who fired 3, shouted 3
hostaged 3 and held off 3
while beating 3
as he asked theState 3X
most violently.
----
luvs,
theSam!!
slflyinghorse
anchorage, alaska
-AlaskaVillageTales-
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