theSam!!'s Mother Speaks!! (again....)
theSam!!'s Mother(s) In Law Speaks!! (again...)
SPEAK!!
>:o( <<-----< "Mama!!"
d:oO !! <<-----< ...me
---------------
More VPSO / VPO Probation / Parole Interview Questions?!
1. Are YOU working?!
If so, Where!?
Wait. Who are we kidding?!
You have an ETB card that keeps getting replenished every 6 months, of course not.
And my daughter might pick you up now and then after work and take you to your place Or, she might take YOU home.
btw, How come you're NOT sharing that awesome restaurant food with Us!?
shheeeesh!!
I thought Natives were so "giving", "sharing", "Loving!!"
...What?!
Oh...
you deposit your seed into my dau...Ok. Ok..
That's not what I meant by giving, sharing and loving!!
*sobs.... NeverMind...*
We bought them out long ago for this Country with Beads and they turn right back around and put them back inside our daugh.....
2. Where are YOU Living and with WHOM?! !!
umm.
Yes I did get your 6months (at a time) Resume & Chronological Life History.
I also got theLat / Long Coordinates, But whenever I check them out.
I end up in theAlley behind this downtown Bar, somewhere within 3 to 5 feet of this stupid Green Garbage dumpster,
Don't try to fool me Mr!!
Where Are You Living!?
3. Had any Popo / Police / AST etc contact!? !! ?
-Glares- >:o(
No.. listening to all theFreqs on Scanner doesn't count.
Quite frankly, if it did, You'd be assigned your OWN 10 Codes!!
ah... no no.
I don't wanna hear anything... further about your fuzzyCuffs that my girl got you....
erhh..
What Color!?
4. Have YOU / theOffender traveled Out of Area?!
-Slaps Forehead-
oh...
Whom I kidding?!
You don't HAVE a car!!
So why you driving her Truck around?!
uh huh..
So how come I didn't see thePizzaDeliverySign?!
oh.. you were OFF!!
5. Is there Anything Else!! I Should tell Mom!! ?!....erhh..
I meant....
Is there anything else!! I / YOU should tell YOUR Probation Officer!? !!
Thanks Dad!!
I've got it from here!!
sam, Sam!!
Is there anything else I should tell mom!?
*thumps Interviewee with Spoon*
Like, when putting on my makeup for me the other day,
You commented that you'd hoped I wouldn't catch fire!!
because I've recently gone over to DayShift!! What's that supposed to mean?!
And when you Massage me,
I hate it when you get to my fingers, you pretend that your pulling an ActivationSwitch to Inflate an Device!!
Are you implying that, after marriage and subsequent pregnancy,
That I'm gonna go Condo on you!?
*groan...*
I hate it when, every Month I gotta ask these stupid questions over and Over and over and ov..
*screams and runs to her room*
*theSam!! seeing that No one else is around in the house,
saunters to theKitchen and goes to theLivingRoom,
switches on SatTV*
-------------------------------------
Ack!! DPS 10Codes!!
10!!
a total Fox!!, sweet and definitely CuteOnly!!
10-1
Unable to Copy, anything that Sam!! says to us, He's either Intoxicated again, or his mouth is full of food.
10-2
Signals Good, but if it wanes, Change spaces in empty parking lot and have theSam!! change poses on top of PatrolVehicle, and check to see that he's not listening to his CD Player as that maybe causing your UpLink interference.
10-3
Change Frequency, as in, theSam!! needs to change the frequency of his Restaurant, CoffeeHouse visits much less, so to make his trips to theLil'Boys!! room LESS Frequent.
10-4
Acknowledgement How did theSam!! greet you, give permission to transport, etc, etc.
N-Nod
H-Head jerk
D-Head droop, jerk then Nod
10-5
Meet @ (give Location), Just remember that theSam!! drove ParaTransit for a short time and even bought his own Anchorage Street atlas and memorized Much of it.
After getting to your Food meet destinations, order quick and Pay in plastic, else theSam!! will browBeatin' you to feed him!!
10-6
Busy @ (give Location), It's best to give an location Different from where you actually are, then CellPhone in theInfo.
10-7
Out of Service (off Duty, Breaks), Just don't take this Code literally and take breaks from "10" to "7" like Sam!! did.
10-8
In Service, it's best to arrive to work at 10 to 8!! than to wake Up 10 minutes after 8, 8 hrs after your shift began!!
In fact, after reviewing theSam!!'s old LogBooks, we don't see him going 10-8 anywhere!! he just shows up.
10-9
Repeat, as in repeat your transmission or repeat what you just recently said!!
Do Not resort to a NasalTone when going ayyh!? / ehh!? and sounding like a honking Goose, acting like you can't hear anything!!
10-10
VillageChick!! Fight In Progress!!, two Foxy's are Boxing!!, two girls are giving each other a beatDown!!
10-11
an Fox!! is fighting an Ultra-Hot VillageChick!!, Your fingers should be thumbing the "ON" switches of your Camcorders and CellCamPhones.
10-12
Standby!! Use this Code for Newbie Officers to keep them away as all Veterans will know that this code means,
to Ultra-Hot CuteChixxx!! have rended each others clothes and are STILL fighting!?
10-13
Road & Weather Conditions, use this in relation to days when you know theSam!! will be walking TO / From work,
Wait till he's close to full Water puddles before you go speeding by!!
10-14
Same old info about VillageChixxx!! fighting in public, Just that any number above 12 gives the Number of UltraHot!! participants who've parted Pants from theOther!!
10-15
Ibid, to include theNumber of Years in Prison You'd get IF you were to step into theFight!! and attempt to stop.
Cos then You'd get accused of something, and heaven knows, most angry, nude beat up chicks always win in court when accusing an Male!! Best just stay out of this melee' and let it die down.
10-16
Ibid, to also include NEW number of InsanelyHOT!! of ChickFriends that EACH girl has, That just joined theFight,
oh.. Ibid on the new participants who are parting & rending Pants from theOther.
10-17
Uh oh.... d:o(
Odd Man out, as by now, an NewbOfficer arrives and steps into theFray!! Only to be severely beaten and depantsed by an Torrid, Scalding, SuperFun Insanely hot, dropDeadGorgeous VillageChick!! that rates good looks ABOVE a "10",
which is pretty High out in theBush!!,
but this "17" rating is to also include theAge of theGirl(s) beating up on theNewb!!
Just stay back, as these girls on theFringe of theFray!! are often winded and just "takin' a break!!",
after they toss theOfficer out of theMidst, they'll step back into theHerIcanes eye once again!!
10-18
*psshhaawww*,
time to move onto something else and let theSurvivors contact YOU later,
as by now, a bunch of 18yr old Chick!!'s have joined up and then things get really vicious!!
Grab YOUR wounded & dead and Run!!
10-19
Return To (give Location), All of theAbove!! after having reported in Chronological Ten Codes of course, and be sure to tuck your tail between your legs,
as any "19yr", "20", "21+" Foxy boxing, UltraHot, InsanelyFun, DropDeadGorgeous, etc, etc!!
female relatives of theInitial TWO fight participants come running to join in the Fun!! (and btw, they're theOlder Smart ones, having rended all clothes, Pants in the first place!!)
oh.. And a final "btw",
What all this stuff has to do with weather conditions and all and having opportunity to splash mud, water & snow or even ScatterDirt!! upon theSam!!,
we have NO Clue. Just give him theHotChixxx!! fighting excuse if he complains and he'll totally, like..
Tooaadddily, toadally understand!!
10-20
Location, then reGroup, reCoupe your personnel losses, take some deep breaths before you inventory your Camera footage and UpLoad to Servers!!
10-21
Call (give Name & phone #), Phone is usually prefaced by an 1-900 or... hey.. whatta ya know..
an 907!! prefix!!
hey Alaska!!
d:oP
10-22
Disregard, Drops interest in anyone of any calls you made faster than a .22 drops a VillageSledDog!!
10-23
Arrived at scene, as in, "Finally!!, it took you guys 2 to 3 hours to get here thank you, I see that my Tax dollars are working hard to help me!!"
"Next year, you'll probably take 2 to 3 days!! getting here!!"
10-24
Assignment Completed, This "24" code often tells your Superiors that,
the ChickFight!! started between two very cute, hot 10yr olds and that had escalated in numbers of pantsless participants & escalated also in hotness of succeeding Older & older more hot female relatives come to join and strip!!,
was finally brought to a, *Ahem!!* aClothes, after theOlder (but even more pretty!! albeit "TAKEN" or Married woman , 3 to 8 Kidz by this Point!!) arrived onscene to quell theDisturbance......and to get Everyone dressed!!
Out in theVillage!!, after age 24, pretty much every mother ends up going from Hot, to Granma!! and thus begins theDecline!!
10-25
This Code Left Respectfully Blank. Just in case another Chickfight!! ends up breaking out that includes any of theHot Older woman whom are 24yrs of age or older!! d:oD
10-26
Ibid!! and Wow!!
10-27
O.L. check, Usually in Cop circles this could mean "Operators License" check, as in when contacting someone while driving and you ask them to produce some form of StateIssued Identity.
DO NOT let their DrunkenState induced Identity try to fool you!!
Just look at their cards and go from there with your training and experience.
How ever, out in theVillage!!, "O.L." can mean other things to check on.
As in, "OtherLive-In" check.
Hey. You're a man!! You gotta perform welfare checks on all your babes and be sure that None of them were participants in that wild villageBeatDown which recently happened!!
If your girls are listening to I-pods, surfing theNet!!, "Eating" your food, gossiping on thePhone, etc. Count your blessings............. for THIS day!!
"O.L." can also mean checking up on your "inLaws",, ooops.
I meant "Out Laws!!", and making sure they're ok, and not fighting elsewhere in theVillage!! right now.
10-28
Vehicle Registration Check, Most often, this occurs "AFTER" theCrash.
As most VPSO's and VPO's are too damn lazy to check out plates and VIN's "BEFORE" any such check is needed,
all except for theSam!!, he keeps on checking out new plates, VIN's and takes pictures of everything!!
he even keeps tabs of old friends via their vehicle Info!! d:oP
10-29
Check Record for Wanted, Now in theCity!! this means having Dispatch check out information related to what I.D. information of any particular person you contacted,
But out in theVillage!! this 10-29 is LITERALLY just that.
See, after stopping into theDrunken, Loud, house party going on and you finally step up to theRecord turntable and shut off the music.
Your sobbing, weeping, crying Complainant of an VillageChick!! comes in to identify if that 45 or LP vinyl record really IS hers or not.
If you don't think these things are relevant to your "Calling" out in theVillage!!
Just ask theSam!!
His villageChixxx!! started a 3 month fued over, not vinyl records and Booze, but 8 track tapes AND BOOZE!!
his logBooks record an whopping, flopping, bouncing, pert & perky 28 sets of participants (whom were depantsed or depantsing each other, heck..
theSam!! even pulled down a few too!! d:oP)
and that was about 15 or 16 (Cancer!!) female relatives PER initial respondent that helped the Girls previous to them, whom responded to theInitial 16, whom helped the first 8, whom helped theFirst 2 girls fight!!
10-30
This one's pretty much easy. It's the beddy by time for theSam!! he really does need to be asleep. Lights OUT, Sam!! sleepy...zzzzz
10-31
Check to make sure theSam!! hasn't made paperMache figure and snuck out the window.
As one of theSam!!'s GirlFrenz found out that he'll disappear on them....
to do 10-27 / O.L. / OutLaw checks on all his other "Bad, bad girl friends!!".... ones besides you.
10-32
Weapons involved. There have been unDocumented Incidents of really, really cute, Hot, InsanelyFun!!, DropDead gorgeous, completely Wow!! looking, beyootifu....
meh... You get theIdea, ....Chick!!'s having used weapons out in theVillage!!
Rarely will the young ones ever ever use an weapon as we know it: rifles, handguns, knives, etc,
It's because theYoungCrowd of VillageChixxx!! prefers to use expediant weapons,
Close objects at hand, like, their handBag / manBag!!'s and their Mules or Stiletto heels, or even a BunnyBoot!!
Just be careful with an Ten!! 32 call.
10-33
Emergency traffic, Take our advice. When getting ready to hog theAirWaves for a few minutes with emergency traffic
Just be sure to specify an "20 ounce" VanillaSteamer AND "2 pumpkinCookies" from theOfficer who is "closest" to ANY coffee house.
We don't want anymore fiascos that have theSam!! chattering incessantly about NOT WANTING his CreamCheeseDanish, that was left over from theDozenBox of Donuts, ....oh.. Aann.. And Who Drank his Pepsi!?
Sam!?, we're sure that theParents of the Deceased crashVictims will understand your love for Pastries, and how NOTHING stands in theWay of your stomach's needs!! >:o(
NOT EVEN life or death emerge.... ahh.. Never mind.
Something tells us, that theSam!! will once again be making Hand "farting" noises and ArmpPit noises over theAirWaves again sometime VERY soon.
10-34
Emergency Traffic, This channel is solely dedicated to theSam!!'s exclusive use!!
If anyone can get him to use IT, that would make the rest of our lives, and Public Safety work go a lot smoother.
It's one of theChannels that we've dropped from use, but, due to some funding & technical use license "Glitches", theChannel is still ours,
We're thinking of somehow letting theSam!!'s favorite rockStation music "Bleed" into this channel so he'll be preoccupied,
We're even considering getting an Voice personality to start RECITING excerpts from his stupid blog over this Channel to get his undivided attention!!
10-35
Ibid!!,
to include getting an PublicSafetyCallBox installed in every RegionalVillage!! and dedicating theCallLine exclusively for reception upon an Single Radio that we're going to let theSam!! use,
We're still in process of locating an old 1980's "GI Joe Walk-n-Tall!!" talkie to use as theOuter shell for Sam!!'s radio.
ha!! Get this!!
We're also going to introduce an 5 to 10 second Voice delay with this emergency line!! So, things should be real interesting when ever some Inebriate prank calls from theVillage!! and Sam!! answers!!
10-36
Routine Traffic Stop, With this new digital channel, we will have exclusive UpLink capabilities direct to PoliceLink!!, WildPolice chases, including theDept's own Youtube account AND with links to theArresting Officer!!'s Dept bio Page.
Plus (if theArrestingOfficer is female AND HOT!!) additional Links to her PayWebsite, including her MySpaced and FacedBook!!
We're encouraging theGenPub / generalDrinking&DrivingPublic, to help us out on a 6month trial basis with use of this new Channel36!!
If you cause a "scene" and get your video with crystal clear audio of you screaming in pain from theOC Spray or from being shot with theTaser,
You'll get 36!!-of something-taken off your prison sentence,
We're still trying to decide if that should be 36 seconds, or 36Tenths of a second,
Though some officers are debating that this Reduction should just be, 36th and 1 thousands of a reduction when your handCuffs are tightly applied to you while you're being arrested,
Don't get your hopes up in thinking that, just because we link to some of our very Hot female Officers, that you get the 36"-24"-36"Special / Curvy treatment!!
come on!!
This is AK, and most of our Popo cuties are more 38 to 40" Chest.
38" to 45" Waist (ehh. One girls pregnancy with Twins!!)
and from 38" to 45"!! asses.
We're pretty sure that since theSam!!'s been working part time in theRestaurantIndustry,
that he is now an 45Chest, 45Waist and still a 36" butt, cos Everyone knows Dindinz got no ass!!
10-50
Accident (D, I, F). Now pay attention!!, When you find out that theSam!! has caused any accidents around town or in theVillage!! that you Classify theEvent like this.
D-Damage, Damage to -SelfEsteem!?, -Image?!, -Credibility!?
I-Injury, Note if any injuries of Psyche, Image & Credibility or theSam!!'s tender feelings!!
F-Fetal, Note how many people were present when you arrive onScene and note how many people were inFetalPosition laughing!!
Also note how many people present were leaning against theWall, objects or each other after seeing theSam!! fall on theIce.
If you hurry, you'll quickly snatch an candyBar & Pepsi from theBoiz!! plastic sack while he's still in a daze!!
10-51
Wrecker, Carefully use this Code with care.
Cos when you call another DVE / DomesticViolenceEvent, where theJaded female Stole theSam!!'s pickup truck and wrecked it,
then Another female happens by, ohh..
Say, an Friend of Sam!!'s, and she gets mad cos, to her it seems theSam!! loaned his vehicle to another Girlfriend,
and instead, theSam!! was only using his vehicle as an PatrolVehicle but it got stolen, There's gonna be a meltdown allright....and theSam!! will Implode when he sees how damaged his truck is.
Oh.. anyway, We had a point here and here it is.
When ever any Female is theAssailant!!
You need to classify her as:
An HomeWrecker,
an RelationShipWrecker,
an HeartBreaker,
or just skip the 10-51 Code and say "VillageChick!!", that pretty much sums up EVERYTHING that she could ever possibly destroy in a fit of anger. Especially if she's as big as a Wrecker,
you know... 51" chest, 51"++ +!! waist, 51++ ++!! hips including legs and arms!!
Just one / 1 / lil' CuteVillageChick!! can ruin lives, devastate economies and bring GlobalWarming!!
erhh. Ok, 2 out of 3 she can do.
We'll just say that when theSam!! left his DutyVillage!!, all his hardEarned cash left them too and everyone pretty much dried up and blew away!!
Cos there was no one left to buy all that stocked up Pop, PopTarts, Candy & Milk!!
10-55
Possible DWI!!, earlier we skipped the "10-40" code because we need to classify having an tall frosty 40oz with driving!!
And if you're out in theVillage!!, chances are theDriver!! will be drinking 10W-D40 along with some derivative of an 40weight oil WITH his 40oz!!......
Yes, you will need to check all fluid levels to compute His / Her BAC / Blood Alcohol Concentration-levels.
Remember this too, that an "10-55" drunk driver just "Reverses theCode" for you.
And instead of driving at "55" miles an hour, or even at 100pmh like everybody else!!
This "totaled" driver will instead-be driving "10"mph!!
You'll see their headlights coming down theMountains 40miles away, and 5hrs later you'll still be waiting in frustration, wondering how long it will be till they get to you,
then you'll see their lights again, 30miles away and they won't move until......
Just BEFORE Dawn!! (coz they were sleeping!!)
then you'll observe with Binos (binoculars) as they slowly approach you from 30miles away.
*sigh*
Just head back to theVillage!!, and you'll see them right behind you as they TailGate!!
As for classifying theSam!! somewhere in all this mess.
DWI can also be applied here. It stands for Dish washing While Intoxicated!!
Cos some of theServerKidz!! bring unused / unConsumed alcohol into the back rooms and share!! Then just after midnight, theSam!! goes staggering home back to the'Hood!!-in a complete Haze!!
10-56
Intoxicated Person, while we're at it-this talking about theSam!! once more, instead of his Villagers.
You have to remember the "56" number with this Code And with this Man!!
You have to use it often when chiding theSam!! Because you remind him that if he keeps on drinking and drinking etc.
His waistLine is going to go from 40" to "56".
THEN he'll be as big as a few OTHER VPSO's in his region!!
You know he doesn't want that!!
Yep. "10-56".
theSam!! was once ten, and often STILL IS!!, but in another 16yrs.....
He will be 56!!
d:oP
10-57
Oh... And after chiding theSam!! at exactly 10:57p.m. you have to Double Check "HIS" room to make sure he's still there, Sleeping!!
And unplug all electronics except for his Recharging cellPhone, his boombox and his PowerRangerzNightlight!!
Remember,
this being end of Mar2008 / Beginning of Apr2008 that LightsOUT EARTH!! was recently celebrated,
as for theSam!! and his lil' messy Room.
His girl "Sydney" went lights out and then finally theRest of "Asia" too.
But Asia's so petite and tiny anyways, she slipped between theMattress and the bedroom wall!!
10-60
Welfare Check!!, When checking on theSam!! throughout theNight, just remember the"60" number here,
You check EVERY hour on him.
As for theVillage!!, it's the same thing too.
You have all those HouseParties and Intoxicated Inebriates to check up on, and babysit, and you have to follow (by foot) a few elderlyGranma's too as they totter and weave up or down theStreets to their home,
you make sure they don't fall and end up freezing to death in theWinter cold.
Yes sir, 10-60 On every hour after 10p.m. you have to check on Everyone.
It's just what VPSO's do.
10-61
This Code left Intentionally Blank until an Sam!! Instigated event happens.
10-68
Officer Needs Routine Assistance, Keywords being Routine and Needs!!
Cos everyone, since theDawn of Time!!, has "Rued" the day that "Teens" were out & about causing havoc and fighting with, "Kneeing" their VPSO / VPO officers and causing trouble in general.
Remember, there's No ROUTINE traffic Stop by any Cop in America (or theWorld) and there is no ROU Teen!! situation either!!
Just ask theSam!! and his VillageChixxx!! & his villageKidz.
10-69
Officer Needs Emergency Assistance, Since involvement of certain "GeneralPublic" response to recent 911 situations has now become all theRage!!
What with friends, family, Nosy neighbors and complete strangers butting into various domestic and emergency situations.
And what with some "leading VillageFamilies!!" demanding to now be a part of theLocal 911 scene because they think that current AK Public Safety ISN'T doing a good enough job, a few family members step in and.....
So we had to reflect seriously upon this matter!!
And, show you dear Readers, exactly how good a job some Villagers!! did when stepping up to Challenges of helping out theLocal Officers,
just like theFine, Fine, Gorgeous example, "allright!!" >:o( "Ok!!", of an Fine looking VillageChick called "Tess",
(by theWay, "ok ok... fine!!", "Allright, allright I got it, ok!, Fine, Fine!! YOU go ahead.. Ok!?" are just a few of her buzzWord expressive verbiage expulsions when she's caught redHanded Importing drugs & alcohol or when she's accused of other things. Ok!! d:o(
Tess, whom many of you fine readers of late, would recall from an earlier AVT!! post called "Turkey In theStraw!!", and where the fine young Tess was one of theTurkeyShoot "shooters" standing on the firing line,
and when it came time for her to shoot at tomTurkey, she shot, missed!! and theGun kicked back really hard,
Causing her to chip a $100 Nail on one of her hands and she threw down theGun and ran through theWoods over to her friends house all blubbering and crying and they played "NailSalon" and fixed jess's... I mean!! "Tess's" broken nail.
...............and Hair, and redid her Makeup to clean up her "RaccoonEyes" from her smeared, runny mascara.
..........and soaked her feet and gave her a pedicure, then she bothered theSam!! via cellPhone, SatellitePhone and sending her young cousins to annoy him until he relented and Massaged her back and shoulders, melting away her stress And Clothes!! d:oD
Yep, THAT Tess!! That Village "10", that cuteOnly!!
We'll follow her fine example here and will look closely at theFace!!, albeit the face of PublicSafety, instead of her FINE features,
and by doing this Looking with a 10X lighted mirror, we'll scour
"theVisage of LEOdom" for blemishes,
for imperfections and then we'll just cover everything up with Concealer, Color and Lipstick, then later on after partying real hard,
we'll see if we can have even theSubSurface of Village events just "softened" up a bit via a few hard punches of Criticism, Strife, and Abuse.
Maybe even throw in some blows and checks by a few jealous Peers to match the earlier Punches and let everything get glossed over nice and Black!! ( and blue, purple-ish and yellowy on theEdges!!)
So. When responding to these Village-"Officer" Assist Codes. Take them with a grain of salt... Hell!! Go buy OUT theVillageGeneralStore of table salt with ANY call from "Tess!!" or any one else of her Caliber & finnicky-ness!!
O-Officer Down,
Is she still sitting UNDER!! the end of thePickup tail gate of theVehicle she stopped, drinking ALL theBooze!!
Is she still tipsy Silly from Smoking all theWeed she confiscated from her "Rivals" and watching their soapOpera DVD's they bought in town!?
S-Suspect Down,
Is she still passed out behind theWheel of thePatrol vehicle after she downed theMeth she took from her friends!?
Is she still "sick" and not able to help you out when some bigName sledDog races use your Village!! as a checkPoint for 5 days and half theYVCInc!! Region swarms the place.
Is she and her Deputized friends half-dressed and barely conscious at an houseParty that she insisted on "watching and busting" if anything bad happened at?!
btw, she does an excellent job of "Bust"ing in what ever she wears, whether it's theMonogrammed & VillageCouncil logo'd Jackets & shirts she gets,
or theVillage!! logo'd outerBallisticVests that remain pristine & pretty as herself!! to theVPO badges she wears on theLeftBreast!! instead of her "piercings" when you've found her drugged up and nude one too many times while she was "OnDuty!!"
C-Civilian Down,
mehh.. You get thePoint.
Believe me.
When theVillage!! sticks it's nose into PublicSafety!! affairs and sends untested, illegal-acting people into local & State affairs without ever having been tried & proven first via REAL LIFE!!, you get officers that sully theImage of Alaska's Public Safety reputation.
You get officers that commit DVE in theVillage!! and then years later,
they're still in Village-power (somehow) and meeting Me!! on the streets of Anchorage-Right after they leave an local Hotel sponsored DVE & crime taskForce workshops.
You get officers that commit abuse & Rape in theVillage!! and then they move to theBigCity!! and go into Security or into program leadership positions for / at local shelters, hospitals, civic based orgs and quietly continue their abusive ways.
10-72
This one is for theSam!! It lets others know that he's back UP on his feet again!!....after drinking, after falling on theIce!!, after crawling UNDER theDeepSinks in theSteakHouseKitchen to sleep for theNight!!
72" is in reference to theSam!!'s height.
10-77
ETA, Estimate Time of Arrival!?, Hardly!! Because, to us Villagers!! Estimate is full of variables, like, road conditions, weather, $ usage, etc, but the Following examples are pretty much set in Stone!! No variables and interuptions here!!
This one stands for Estimated Time of Anna!!, an VillageBootLegger!! She imports only StolinayoichaVodka and....Kool menthols. In raging blizzards, on foot!!, by swimming across theLakes even. Anya always delivers.
This one also stands for Estimated Time of Annoyance!! Which could be another of theSam!!'s silly Blog posts or another annoying music practice soundByte on youTube!!
The power could be out, his passwords blocked, his Language settings accidently put to Hindi / hindu!! and theSam!! always delivers.
This one also stands for Eating Time Again!!, which for theSam!! is clockwork. he could be unemployed (which, he still IS), he could be broke, he could be Drunk!! and he still manages to get stuff to eat.
Thank god for Apt roomies with cush jobs and lots of food!!
10-79
Deceased. Whether by Occipital Occular Implants, Cancelling Christmas!!, Buying theFarm!!,
Whether by JD & Coke bottle Inversion, or ANY liquor bottle Inversion!!
Whether by actually trying to read much less being able to understand!! one of theSam!!'s silly blog posts!!
Whether by actually living IN theVillage!! or even by having an VillageChick!! as your girlfriend!!
and let's face facts here, 9 of 10 Alaskans have actually had some form of contact with an AlaskanVillageChick!! at one point in their lives.
Whether by actually Being an VPSO, VPO or just blogging about it.
Whether by actually having thePublicSafetyCareer go completelyKaput!! out in theVillage!! erh.. Actually, theSam!! as we know him IS just this!!
he is 10-79, "Career Deceased", he just doesn't know it yet.
Let's just let him keep busy in theKitchens and DishPits for now, ok!?
10-80
Prisoner In Custody, The nemonic peg for this tenCode is very easy.
See, everyone that acts up in theVillage!! is just begging YOU to give them your undivided attention. They plead with you theOfficer(s) to "PIC / pick" them!!
Oh pretty please!!, pick me!!, take meee!!"
That's it. pick me.
Even Sam!! knows this, and even theInternet has now followed suite and created something for theSam!! to use in caching his various website faves,
theRSS or ReallySimpleSam!!
i mean... R-E-A-L-L-Y.
Just recently, one of his friends placated him, amused him with a youTube link to some SesameStreet characters, How easy is that!?
10-81
Eating, Coffee (give location), Granted that we require our Officers to check in with various activities they're doing throughout theDay!!,
but trying to get theSam!! to tell us he's eating is difficult enough,
But trying to get him to tell us "WHERE" is downright impossible. it's like trying to enlist Villager cooperation in Investigative events, it just isn't going to happen!!
So.... we're working behind theScenes right now, applying to various foodVendors and deli's, coffeeshops around theCity!! and theState!! to let us know, via theSam!!'s credit card purchases,
just where he's been eating!! Then we'll extrapilate all theInfo from the raw data fed to us and.....
wait... didn't he use to work for and Under theHeavyBreasts!! of thePrincess!! ?? ( . )Y( . )
If we contact her and ask her to help us, she might have theSam!! checking in with us every hour by hour, cos he's deathly afraid of her and her 5 Sisters AND of theSleepingLady!!,
to include theOther AlaskanChick!! msDenali!! (whom btw, hasn't claimed anymore hikerz & climbers lately)
10-82
This Space Open for Suggestion!!, as if theSam!! hasn't caused us enough reason to expand the ten codes TEN fold!!
10-83
No Contact!!, When some officers talk with each other via theRadio, and trying to contact Another entity via radio, upon getting no contact or no response.
theOfficer initiating contact might then speak to Everyone and yet, noOne in particular and say "10-83", Negative contact.
which means, that no one answered, and this also implies to thePeople / entity being contacted, that they are no longer bound by circumstance to reply,
they are no longer needed anymore, Life, etc as well as theCurrent emergency or Duty situation has moved on........and left them behind.
I never had to ever think of this 10 Code until I started working out at theAirport.
Those police officers were slow to respond to us SecurityOfficers radio calls,
they considered us SecurityOfficers a nuisance and they still think this way about current TedStevens Intl Airport Ramp securityOfficers.
theTraveling public is pretty much free to drive on up and park their vehicles by theCurbside on theRamps of North or SouthTerminal and Leave their vehicles UnAttended!!
I know this because some SecurityOfficers still tell me today, that this still goes on. And from time to time I have gone out to the airport and stood around observing things.
Nothing's changed, and nothing will improve in matters of theAirport police being an upbeat, positive and friendly entity to theSecuriatas people working for them. Of which I was one of these ramp security officers at one time. Whom tried to reach out and be friendly to the police.
I'm sure it was a blessing in disguise to quit theSecurity field altogether and go to work in a couple of high end restaurants and end up working for a spouse of one of these police officers,
to see and hear how an officer came to be in uniform from civilian life, very intriguing, noble and very admirable, and very sad.
Cos alcohol just loosens some people up, and even getting close to people in some fashion just loosens them up, and everyone talks about their spouses, their friends, their loves and losts,
You see, people in Uniform see it the most.
We see into other people's lives, and we see things fragile, things most would want to consider forgotten, we see ugliness and bitterness,
We see beauty as well. We see that the human condition can rise above much obstacle and opposition.
And we also see that some people, or organizations, groups, cultures can't rise above and can't ever be what they were meant to be.
So it is with this last paragraph, that I lump the current group of Police at TSIA as. With exception of 3 officers, NONE were friendly, none were approachable.
They don't care at all about the traveling public, they waste space, time, $ and resources.
And people like that I will soon relegate to status of how I look at those few AST personnel, whom have also worked against me, and whom may only receive forgiveness from me and theVillagePublic in general for whom I want to go back to work for, by shedding their own blood.
Various Police and StateTroopers complain about personnel shortage and yet, never consider those that have already been in their midst and those that have they have seen before, and to deny meaningful employment and work for those of us already tried, tested and proven, is indeed an offense of grievous weight and they will pay.
It will happen. And I will see it.
10-86
Providing Transport!!, when transporting those Village 10's!! around, you want to spend about $86 or more in duct tape, soft rope, extra harnesses, buckles and some spitHoodz!!
You also wanna check your Odometer readings no less than 86 times after writing theSTART of your trip.
And then you want to buy $86 or more in Snacks and drinks for the 86minute+!! trip to theCity!!,
You also wanna set theCar stereo volume settings to well above one hundred 86Decibels so that you won't hear any of your Prisoners screaming at you.
Also, when you have to pull over for a Pee break by the side of the road,
Apply the86% / percentage of Bug spray and roll down theBack vehicle doors and let theSummer Mosquitos Feed Feed Feed!!
on your 8.6 prisoners!!
10-87
Security / Bar check!!,
theSam!! is very good at this tenCode!!
he goes in, he works for them!!, he's in BOH / back of house!!, he's underfoot, often complaining that he's "underfed!!", he's dressed up like them!!
yep. And after about 7 to 8 months of working in downtown area, ALL Secure!!
10-88
Ibid!!,
as in, ate and ate and ate and ate and ate.... and ate and ate again!!
and ate and ate and ate for like, 8 months now.
And ate and ate and ate steak, mashed tators and CheeseCake!!
10-92
Are You Clear for Confidential Information!?
Upon acknowledgement, hit "record" and broadcast info, then Upload Video, MP3, etc to Internet.
this 10-92 code is for use when passing on any prisoner medical history information upon... I dunno...
Any rashes, warts, any outbreaks, any stalactyte or stalagmite formations they may have needing medical attentions of, for any weepings, drippings, any perule eruptions, for any cauliflower-like, ice crystal looking formations etc,
And you might include, theGirls last partners and if such a person is in custody of Another officer or is in another Village!! Just wait a few days for them screaming in pain while urinating before you take them into custody.
And while you're at it, when taking any Prisoner into Custody, you light up theBack of thePatrolVehicle and let your prisoners sit in theSpotLight, and drive around theVillage!! if you can,
let everyone see this. This often delivers a poignant, provoking message to everyone else of ill-repute, that you care not for their privacy and for their issues in light of "them" not caring for their broken, bleeding Victims!!
10-93
Subject a Possible Health Hazard, Just think about this one, if you don't wanna live to be 93!!
Then don't take precautions when dealing with drooling, bleeding, really scummy prisoners.
Seriously. You always glove up when dealing with irate, raving mad VillageChixxx!!
Just carry your own BoxingGloves or use those really cool WristWrap black colored FightingGloves!!
And what with OSHA breathing down everyone's neck these days, with those MSDS listings to read and memorize regarding plain old TapWater!!
Start applying for federal grants today!! Not for more $, OverTime Pay, not for more uniforms and more LEO equipment & Tools, not for more weapons and training,
And certainly not for office supplies and computers and BroadBand comms for theVillage!! and for your humble VPSO office.
noo...
You apply now for those cool looking Blue or Neon yellow MoonSuits!!
You can be the envy of AlaskaVillagePublicSafety when you respond to the next DVE / domestic violence event in your own customized blimpy suit, complete with KlearKevlar face dome,
your PermaGrab!! piston-Powered extend-an-Arm probe (for searching behind house Couches & Sofa's for hiding, drunken Parolees!!) and for keeping irate Village Granma's at bay!!
the2006, 7, and 8 Models from LabSafety'sSupply, Gals Supply and PopoMan'sFrend!! come for a low low price of 4Mil each!!
And each suit is rated to 5 VillageCouncil!!'s on theDept of Justice-AlaskaDivision & Forestry's, Rural PublicSafety PPE devices, zootSuits and VPSOEnclosures listings!!
However, these suits are NOT villageChildren!! proof, but they are rated from 3rd grader Resistant and below!!
Order now and you get free "VPSO", "VPO" or even "VillageCouncil, damnit!!" logo's front and back.
and we'll even throw in free shipping to the nearest AST post hub!!
And no Sam!!, theGasCanister Projectile sleeves are not meant for shooting snowballs!!
And we wouldn't want you to go "Sigourney!!" on us, like that one Alien movie scene when she hopped into that ForkLift device and fought theMotherQueenAlien!!
we already heard about you and the time you took on thePoorVillager!! that had the enviable task of moving all junk cars out to theDump!! and you were mad that he didn't build you a snipersNest!!
theCouncil's still furious that you damaged theSnowPlow-blade on theDutyTruck during that runIn with theRented carMoverCaterpillar theVillager!! was driving!!
10-96
Mental Subject, mehh... just read ANY of theAbove mentioned wordings, to Include ANY other Blog Post!!
Or as theSam!! puts in in Village!! vernacular, "Mom!!", "Dad" etc, when addressing his relatives, his Granma's & Granpa's, or even when stating theObvious and completely Oblivious!! - "all my Relations!!"
d:oP
10-97
Negative Wanted, very rarely will Dispatch ever say this tenCode to you when you contact "any" Villager!!
And theSam!! always experiences this phenomenon out in theVillage!! pretty much 20 days out of 30 / 31.
Then after Payday!!, theSam!! is Alaska'sMostWanted!!
d:oO (panic!!)
10-98
Officer safety information, very rarely has this code been used to tell theSam!! anything.
As most villageOfficers are the last to know anything!!
But once in awhile theTroops will mail, fax or deliver an posting to theVPSO's / VPO's personally.
*sigh*
and lately they've been looking at AVT alot!!
as evidence to warn others....
d:o)
10-99
Wanted or Stolen,
Unknown to most Villagers!! or alaskan's in general, ANY radio call or code is JUST THIS!!
An Wanted or Stolen bulletin.
cos, in theVillage!!, if it isn't concrete rooted, nailed down or upon cinder blocks it's gonna get stolen......eventually.
Other, Ms ellaneous!!
ADAM
Armed & Dangerous?! no. Aimless Dialogue Another "moment", as in, another Blog posting from theSam!!
AYCH
Armed yet Completely harmless!! Yep, that's theSam!!
ABSCWHY
Armed but suction cups won't hurt you!! d:oP, this classification also was briefly held by VillageCouncil!! empowered & Endorsed mischiefous VillageChick!! Tess!!,
But her Tyco sideArm ran out of "spring", and cos she started feeling her Pregnancy early!!, she had weird food cravings and ate thePop!! caps for her StarterPistol!!
KAFPO
Keyboarded and Fired, Pissed off!! d:o( Basically theSam!!, a job and theInet!!
Felony
Pretty much what awaits any offender if they mess with a VillageChick!! As every Village!! has an "msFelony!!" living in their midst, and some villages don't even know it yet!!
msFelony starts stealing peoples (especially mens) hearts after birth, by 9 months she knows that throwing tantrums gets people to pay her attention!!,
her manHunting begins at age 6, and shortly after that she's involved in her first DVE!!,
when she and her 2nd cousin get into a fight one winters day outside over who's more Dindin!! than whom, and who's more White blooded than whom, and she hurls a piece of snow covered ice at the head of her male cousin, splitting his lip!! and she is driving vehicles by 8.
By 9 she's drinking and has smoked too, at 10 she's been in VPSO custody several times with her friends, by 12 she's been in and out of cityJail!!
at 13 fate "endows" her body revvs up her hormones causes her to obsess over her hair, makeup and what flavor of bubblegum goes with her one pair of shoes, and theReal trouble begins!!
MsDemeanor
the2nd female cousin to Felony!! She's more controllable, will mope quietly and will do her own homework instead of getting her VPSO / VPO husband to doing it for her!!.....
wait. did I say that?!
And she'll quietly wait till everyone else has passed out before quietly drinking.
She'll actually graduate school, will go to College and learn to scheme, plan and plot on a much grander scale!!
And lately, YVCInc!! has pretty much, just carLoads of these chicks!! working for them, erhh... for me!!
MsBehavin'
She's pretty much Everything that Felony & msDemeanor is, but she wears a dress, she has kids and she drives the speed limit in theVillage!!
and she'll draw the curtains tight when watching late night tv and sipping JD & Coke!!
She has been Tess a few times for her village!!, she has been Felony but never got caught and prefers to just behave in public!!
Traffic out in theVillage!!, this can range from dozens of cars and trucks lining the street per villageFestival, PotLatch, etc
or it can be just theSam!! walking his beat, and also includes the torn, tattered White plastic grocer sack that occasionally flutters, bounces and drifts on theBreeze up and down theVillage!! streets,
year after year after year....
Locate
what pretty much every Villager!! is unable of doing or being unable to simply be!!
They'll phone call you, they'll hint at Alcohol shipments coming in on specific nights and whom is coming IN,
they'll testify in court and help put offenders away but, they cannot for the life of them Help you FIND any of the alcohol & drugs.
they just draw a blank when it comes to helping your war, which is in fact, their drug war!!
10-100
How old we all feel when dealing repeatedly with theSam!!
SPEAK!!
>:o( <<-----< "Mama!!"
d:oO !! <<-----< ...me
---------------
More VPSO / VPO Probation / Parole Interview Questions?!
1. Are YOU working?!
If so, Where!?
Wait. Who are we kidding?!
You have an ETB card that keeps getting replenished every 6 months, of course not.
And my daughter might pick you up now and then after work and take you to your place Or, she might take YOU home.
btw, How come you're NOT sharing that awesome restaurant food with Us!?
shheeeesh!!
I thought Natives were so "giving", "sharing", "Loving!!"
...What?!
Oh...
you deposit your seed into my dau...Ok. Ok..
That's not what I meant by giving, sharing and loving!!
*sobs.... NeverMind...*
We bought them out long ago for this Country with Beads and they turn right back around and put them back inside our daugh.....
2. Where are YOU Living and with WHOM?! !!
umm.
Yes I did get your 6months (at a time) Resume & Chronological Life History.
I also got theLat / Long Coordinates, But whenever I check them out.
I end up in theAlley behind this downtown Bar, somewhere within 3 to 5 feet of this stupid Green Garbage dumpster,
Don't try to fool me Mr!!
Where Are You Living!?
3. Had any Popo / Police / AST etc contact!? !! ?
-Glares- >:o(
No.. listening to all theFreqs on Scanner doesn't count.
Quite frankly, if it did, You'd be assigned your OWN 10 Codes!!
ah... no no.
I don't wanna hear anything... further about your fuzzyCuffs that my girl got you....
erhh..
What Color!?
4. Have YOU / theOffender traveled Out of Area?!
-Slaps Forehead-
oh...
Whom I kidding?!
You don't HAVE a car!!
So why you driving her Truck around?!
uh huh..
So how come I didn't see thePizzaDeliverySign?!
oh.. you were OFF!!
5. Is there Anything Else!! I Should tell Mom!! ?!....erhh..
I meant....
Is there anything else!! I / YOU should tell YOUR Probation Officer!? !!
Thanks Dad!!
I've got it from here!!
sam, Sam!!
Is there anything else I should tell mom!?
*thumps Interviewee with Spoon*
Like, when putting on my makeup for me the other day,
You commented that you'd hoped I wouldn't catch fire!!
because I've recently gone over to DayShift!! What's that supposed to mean?!
And when you Massage me,
I hate it when you get to my fingers, you pretend that your pulling an ActivationSwitch to Inflate an Device!!
Are you implying that, after marriage and subsequent pregnancy,
That I'm gonna go Condo on you!?
*groan...*
I hate it when, every Month I gotta ask these stupid questions over and Over and over and ov..
*screams and runs to her room*
*theSam!! seeing that No one else is around in the house,
saunters to theKitchen and goes to theLivingRoom,
switches on SatTV*
-------------------------------------
Ack!! DPS 10Codes!!
10!!
a total Fox!!, sweet and definitely CuteOnly!!
10-1
Unable to Copy, anything that Sam!! says to us, He's either Intoxicated again, or his mouth is full of food.
10-2
Signals Good, but if it wanes, Change spaces in empty parking lot and have theSam!! change poses on top of PatrolVehicle, and check to see that he's not listening to his CD Player as that maybe causing your UpLink interference.
10-3
Change Frequency, as in, theSam!! needs to change the frequency of his Restaurant, CoffeeHouse visits much less, so to make his trips to theLil'Boys!! room LESS Frequent.
10-4
Acknowledgement How did theSam!! greet you, give permission to transport, etc, etc.
N-Nod
H-Head jerk
D-Head droop, jerk then Nod
10-5
Meet @ (give Location), Just remember that theSam!! drove ParaTransit for a short time and even bought his own Anchorage Street atlas and memorized Much of it.
After getting to your Food meet destinations, order quick and Pay in plastic, else theSam!! will browBeatin' you to feed him!!
10-6
Busy @ (give Location), It's best to give an location Different from where you actually are, then CellPhone in theInfo.
10-7
Out of Service (off Duty, Breaks), Just don't take this Code literally and take breaks from "10" to "7" like Sam!! did.
10-8
In Service, it's best to arrive to work at 10 to 8!! than to wake Up 10 minutes after 8, 8 hrs after your shift began!!
In fact, after reviewing theSam!!'s old LogBooks, we don't see him going 10-8 anywhere!! he just shows up.
10-9
Repeat, as in repeat your transmission or repeat what you just recently said!!
Do Not resort to a NasalTone when going ayyh!? / ehh!? and sounding like a honking Goose, acting like you can't hear anything!!
10-10
VillageChick!! Fight In Progress!!, two Foxy's are Boxing!!, two girls are giving each other a beatDown!!
10-11
an Fox!! is fighting an Ultra-Hot VillageChick!!, Your fingers should be thumbing the "ON" switches of your Camcorders and CellCamPhones.
10-12
Standby!! Use this Code for Newbie Officers to keep them away as all Veterans will know that this code means,
to Ultra-Hot CuteChixxx!! have rended each others clothes and are STILL fighting!?
10-13
Road & Weather Conditions, use this in relation to days when you know theSam!! will be walking TO / From work,
Wait till he's close to full Water puddles before you go speeding by!!
10-14
Same old info about VillageChixxx!! fighting in public, Just that any number above 12 gives the Number of UltraHot!! participants who've parted Pants from theOther!!
10-15
Ibid, to include theNumber of Years in Prison You'd get IF you were to step into theFight!! and attempt to stop.
Cos then You'd get accused of something, and heaven knows, most angry, nude beat up chicks always win in court when accusing an Male!! Best just stay out of this melee' and let it die down.
10-16
Ibid, to also include NEW number of InsanelyHOT!! of ChickFriends that EACH girl has, That just joined theFight,
oh.. Ibid on the new participants who are parting & rending Pants from theOther.
10-17
Uh oh.... d:o(
Odd Man out, as by now, an NewbOfficer arrives and steps into theFray!! Only to be severely beaten and depantsed by an Torrid, Scalding, SuperFun Insanely hot, dropDeadGorgeous VillageChick!! that rates good looks ABOVE a "10",
which is pretty High out in theBush!!,
but this "17" rating is to also include theAge of theGirl(s) beating up on theNewb!!
Just stay back, as these girls on theFringe of theFray!! are often winded and just "takin' a break!!",
after they toss theOfficer out of theMidst, they'll step back into theHerIcanes eye once again!!
10-18
*psshhaawww*,
time to move onto something else and let theSurvivors contact YOU later,
as by now, a bunch of 18yr old Chick!!'s have joined up and then things get really vicious!!
Grab YOUR wounded & dead and Run!!
10-19
Return To (give Location), All of theAbove!! after having reported in Chronological Ten Codes of course, and be sure to tuck your tail between your legs,
as any "19yr", "20", "21+" Foxy boxing, UltraHot, InsanelyFun, DropDeadGorgeous, etc, etc!!
female relatives of theInitial TWO fight participants come running to join in the Fun!! (and btw, they're theOlder Smart ones, having rended all clothes, Pants in the first place!!)
oh.. And a final "btw",
What all this stuff has to do with weather conditions and all and having opportunity to splash mud, water & snow or even ScatterDirt!! upon theSam!!,
we have NO Clue. Just give him theHotChixxx!! fighting excuse if he complains and he'll totally, like..
Tooaadddily, toadally understand!!
10-20
Location, then reGroup, reCoupe your personnel losses, take some deep breaths before you inventory your Camera footage and UpLoad to Servers!!
10-21
Call (give Name & phone #), Phone is usually prefaced by an 1-900 or... hey.. whatta ya know..
an 907!! prefix!!
hey Alaska!!
d:oP
10-22
Disregard, Drops interest in anyone of any calls you made faster than a .22 drops a VillageSledDog!!
10-23
Arrived at scene, as in, "Finally!!, it took you guys 2 to 3 hours to get here thank you, I see that my Tax dollars are working hard to help me!!"
"Next year, you'll probably take 2 to 3 days!! getting here!!"
10-24
Assignment Completed, This "24" code often tells your Superiors that,
the ChickFight!! started between two very cute, hot 10yr olds and that had escalated in numbers of pantsless participants & escalated also in hotness of succeeding Older & older more hot female relatives come to join and strip!!,
was finally brought to a, *Ahem!!* aClothes, after theOlder (but even more pretty!! albeit "TAKEN" or Married woman , 3 to 8 Kidz by this Point!!) arrived onscene to quell theDisturbance......and to get Everyone dressed!!
Out in theVillage!!, after age 24, pretty much every mother ends up going from Hot, to Granma!! and thus begins theDecline!!
10-25
This Code Left Respectfully Blank. Just in case another Chickfight!! ends up breaking out that includes any of theHot Older woman whom are 24yrs of age or older!! d:oD
10-26
Ibid!! and Wow!!
10-27
O.L. check, Usually in Cop circles this could mean "Operators License" check, as in when contacting someone while driving and you ask them to produce some form of StateIssued Identity.
DO NOT let their DrunkenState induced Identity try to fool you!!
Just look at their cards and go from there with your training and experience.
How ever, out in theVillage!!, "O.L." can mean other things to check on.
As in, "OtherLive-In" check.
Hey. You're a man!! You gotta perform welfare checks on all your babes and be sure that None of them were participants in that wild villageBeatDown which recently happened!!
If your girls are listening to I-pods, surfing theNet!!, "Eating" your food, gossiping on thePhone, etc. Count your blessings............. for THIS day!!
"O.L." can also mean checking up on your "inLaws",, ooops.
I meant "Out Laws!!", and making sure they're ok, and not fighting elsewhere in theVillage!! right now.
10-28
Vehicle Registration Check, Most often, this occurs "AFTER" theCrash.
As most VPSO's and VPO's are too damn lazy to check out plates and VIN's "BEFORE" any such check is needed,
all except for theSam!!, he keeps on checking out new plates, VIN's and takes pictures of everything!!
he even keeps tabs of old friends via their vehicle Info!! d:oP
10-29
Check Record for Wanted, Now in theCity!! this means having Dispatch check out information related to what I.D. information of any particular person you contacted,
But out in theVillage!! this 10-29 is LITERALLY just that.
See, after stopping into theDrunken, Loud, house party going on and you finally step up to theRecord turntable and shut off the music.
Your sobbing, weeping, crying Complainant of an VillageChick!! comes in to identify if that 45 or LP vinyl record really IS hers or not.
If you don't think these things are relevant to your "Calling" out in theVillage!!
Just ask theSam!!
His villageChixxx!! started a 3 month fued over, not vinyl records and Booze, but 8 track tapes AND BOOZE!!
his logBooks record an whopping, flopping, bouncing, pert & perky 28 sets of participants (whom were depantsed or depantsing each other, heck..
theSam!! even pulled down a few too!! d:oP)
and that was about 15 or 16 (Cancer!!) female relatives PER initial respondent that helped the Girls previous to them, whom responded to theInitial 16, whom helped the first 8, whom helped theFirst 2 girls fight!!
10-30
This one's pretty much easy. It's the beddy by time for theSam!! he really does need to be asleep. Lights OUT, Sam!! sleepy...zzzzz
10-31
Check to make sure theSam!! hasn't made paperMache figure and snuck out the window.
As one of theSam!!'s GirlFrenz found out that he'll disappear on them....
to do 10-27 / O.L. / OutLaw checks on all his other "Bad, bad girl friends!!".... ones besides you.
10-32
Weapons involved. There have been unDocumented Incidents of really, really cute, Hot, InsanelyFun!!, DropDead gorgeous, completely Wow!! looking, beyootifu....
meh... You get theIdea, ....Chick!!'s having used weapons out in theVillage!!
Rarely will the young ones ever ever use an weapon as we know it: rifles, handguns, knives, etc,
It's because theYoungCrowd of VillageChixxx!! prefers to use expediant weapons,
Close objects at hand, like, their handBag / manBag!!'s and their Mules or Stiletto heels, or even a BunnyBoot!!
Just be careful with an Ten!! 32 call.
10-33
Emergency traffic, Take our advice. When getting ready to hog theAirWaves for a few minutes with emergency traffic
Just be sure to specify an "20 ounce" VanillaSteamer AND "2 pumpkinCookies" from theOfficer who is "closest" to ANY coffee house.
We don't want anymore fiascos that have theSam!! chattering incessantly about NOT WANTING his CreamCheeseDanish, that was left over from theDozenBox of Donuts, ....oh.. Aann.. And Who Drank his Pepsi!?
Sam!?, we're sure that theParents of the Deceased crashVictims will understand your love for Pastries, and how NOTHING stands in theWay of your stomach's needs!! >:o(
NOT EVEN life or death emerge.... ahh.. Never mind.
Something tells us, that theSam!! will once again be making Hand "farting" noises and ArmpPit noises over theAirWaves again sometime VERY soon.
10-34
Emergency Traffic, This channel is solely dedicated to theSam!!'s exclusive use!!
If anyone can get him to use IT, that would make the rest of our lives, and Public Safety work go a lot smoother.
It's one of theChannels that we've dropped from use, but, due to some funding & technical use license "Glitches", theChannel is still ours,
We're thinking of somehow letting theSam!!'s favorite rockStation music "Bleed" into this channel so he'll be preoccupied,
We're even considering getting an Voice personality to start RECITING excerpts from his stupid blog over this Channel to get his undivided attention!!
10-35
Ibid!!,
to include getting an PublicSafetyCallBox installed in every RegionalVillage!! and dedicating theCallLine exclusively for reception upon an Single Radio that we're going to let theSam!! use,
We're still in process of locating an old 1980's "GI Joe Walk-n-Tall!!" talkie to use as theOuter shell for Sam!!'s radio.
ha!! Get this!!
We're also going to introduce an 5 to 10 second Voice delay with this emergency line!! So, things should be real interesting when ever some Inebriate prank calls from theVillage!! and Sam!! answers!!
10-36
Routine Traffic Stop, With this new digital channel, we will have exclusive UpLink capabilities direct to PoliceLink!!, WildPolice chases, including theDept's own Youtube account AND with links to theArresting Officer!!'s Dept bio Page.
Plus (if theArrestingOfficer is female AND HOT!!) additional Links to her PayWebsite, including her MySpaced and FacedBook!!
We're encouraging theGenPub / generalDrinking&DrivingPublic, to help us out on a 6month trial basis with use of this new Channel36!!
If you cause a "scene" and get your video with crystal clear audio of you screaming in pain from theOC Spray or from being shot with theTaser,
You'll get 36!!-of something-taken off your prison sentence,
We're still trying to decide if that should be 36 seconds, or 36Tenths of a second,
Though some officers are debating that this Reduction should just be, 36th and 1 thousands of a reduction when your handCuffs are tightly applied to you while you're being arrested,
Don't get your hopes up in thinking that, just because we link to some of our very Hot female Officers, that you get the 36"-24"-36"Special / Curvy treatment!!
come on!!
This is AK, and most of our Popo cuties are more 38 to 40" Chest.
38" to 45" Waist (ehh. One girls pregnancy with Twins!!)
and from 38" to 45"!! asses.
We're pretty sure that since theSam!!'s been working part time in theRestaurantIndustry,
that he is now an 45Chest, 45Waist and still a 36" butt, cos Everyone knows Dindinz got no ass!!
10-50
Accident (D, I, F). Now pay attention!!, When you find out that theSam!! has caused any accidents around town or in theVillage!! that you Classify theEvent like this.
D-Damage, Damage to -SelfEsteem!?, -Image?!, -Credibility!?
I-Injury, Note if any injuries of Psyche, Image & Credibility or theSam!!'s tender feelings!!
F-Fetal, Note how many people were present when you arrive onScene and note how many people were inFetalPosition laughing!!
Also note how many people present were leaning against theWall, objects or each other after seeing theSam!! fall on theIce.
If you hurry, you'll quickly snatch an candyBar & Pepsi from theBoiz!! plastic sack while he's still in a daze!!
10-51
Wrecker, Carefully use this Code with care.
Cos when you call another DVE / DomesticViolenceEvent, where theJaded female Stole theSam!!'s pickup truck and wrecked it,
then Another female happens by, ohh..
Say, an Friend of Sam!!'s, and she gets mad cos, to her it seems theSam!! loaned his vehicle to another Girlfriend,
and instead, theSam!! was only using his vehicle as an PatrolVehicle but it got stolen, There's gonna be a meltdown allright....and theSam!! will Implode when he sees how damaged his truck is.
Oh.. anyway, We had a point here and here it is.
When ever any Female is theAssailant!!
You need to classify her as:
An HomeWrecker,
an RelationShipWrecker,
an HeartBreaker,
or just skip the 10-51 Code and say "VillageChick!!", that pretty much sums up EVERYTHING that she could ever possibly destroy in a fit of anger. Especially if she's as big as a Wrecker,
you know... 51" chest, 51"++ +!! waist, 51++ ++!! hips including legs and arms!!
Just one / 1 / lil' CuteVillageChick!! can ruin lives, devastate economies and bring GlobalWarming!!
erhh. Ok, 2 out of 3 she can do.
We'll just say that when theSam!! left his DutyVillage!!, all his hardEarned cash left them too and everyone pretty much dried up and blew away!!
Cos there was no one left to buy all that stocked up Pop, PopTarts, Candy & Milk!!
10-55
Possible DWI!!, earlier we skipped the "10-40" code because we need to classify having an tall frosty 40oz with driving!!
And if you're out in theVillage!!, chances are theDriver!! will be drinking 10W-D40 along with some derivative of an 40weight oil WITH his 40oz!!......
Yes, you will need to check all fluid levels to compute His / Her BAC / Blood Alcohol Concentration-levels.
Remember this too, that an "10-55" drunk driver just "Reverses theCode" for you.
And instead of driving at "55" miles an hour, or even at 100pmh like everybody else!!
This "totaled" driver will instead-be driving "10"mph!!
You'll see their headlights coming down theMountains 40miles away, and 5hrs later you'll still be waiting in frustration, wondering how long it will be till they get to you,
then you'll see their lights again, 30miles away and they won't move until......
Just BEFORE Dawn!! (coz they were sleeping!!)
then you'll observe with Binos (binoculars) as they slowly approach you from 30miles away.
*sigh*
Just head back to theVillage!!, and you'll see them right behind you as they TailGate!!
As for classifying theSam!! somewhere in all this mess.
DWI can also be applied here. It stands for Dish washing While Intoxicated!!
Cos some of theServerKidz!! bring unused / unConsumed alcohol into the back rooms and share!! Then just after midnight, theSam!! goes staggering home back to the'Hood!!-in a complete Haze!!
10-56
Intoxicated Person, while we're at it-this talking about theSam!! once more, instead of his Villagers.
You have to remember the "56" number with this Code And with this Man!!
You have to use it often when chiding theSam!! Because you remind him that if he keeps on drinking and drinking etc.
His waistLine is going to go from 40" to "56".
THEN he'll be as big as a few OTHER VPSO's in his region!!
You know he doesn't want that!!
Yep. "10-56".
theSam!! was once ten, and often STILL IS!!, but in another 16yrs.....
He will be 56!!
d:oP
10-57
Oh... And after chiding theSam!! at exactly 10:57p.m. you have to Double Check "HIS" room to make sure he's still there, Sleeping!!
And unplug all electronics except for his Recharging cellPhone, his boombox and his PowerRangerzNightlight!!
Remember,
this being end of Mar2008 / Beginning of Apr2008 that LightsOUT EARTH!! was recently celebrated,
as for theSam!! and his lil' messy Room.
His girl "Sydney" went lights out and then finally theRest of "Asia" too.
But Asia's so petite and tiny anyways, she slipped between theMattress and the bedroom wall!!
10-60
Welfare Check!!, When checking on theSam!! throughout theNight, just remember the"60" number here,
You check EVERY hour on him.
As for theVillage!!, it's the same thing too.
You have all those HouseParties and Intoxicated Inebriates to check up on, and babysit, and you have to follow (by foot) a few elderlyGranma's too as they totter and weave up or down theStreets to their home,
you make sure they don't fall and end up freezing to death in theWinter cold.
Yes sir, 10-60 On every hour after 10p.m. you have to check on Everyone.
It's just what VPSO's do.
10-61
This Code left Intentionally Blank until an Sam!! Instigated event happens.
10-68
Officer Needs Routine Assistance, Keywords being Routine and Needs!!
Cos everyone, since theDawn of Time!!, has "Rued" the day that "Teens" were out & about causing havoc and fighting with, "Kneeing" their VPSO / VPO officers and causing trouble in general.
Remember, there's No ROUTINE traffic Stop by any Cop in America (or theWorld) and there is no ROU Teen!! situation either!!
Just ask theSam!! and his VillageChixxx!! & his villageKidz.
10-69
Officer Needs Emergency Assistance, Since involvement of certain "GeneralPublic" response to recent 911 situations has now become all theRage!!
What with friends, family, Nosy neighbors and complete strangers butting into various domestic and emergency situations.
And what with some "leading VillageFamilies!!" demanding to now be a part of theLocal 911 scene because they think that current AK Public Safety ISN'T doing a good enough job, a few family members step in and.....
So we had to reflect seriously upon this matter!!
And, show you dear Readers, exactly how good a job some Villagers!! did when stepping up to Challenges of helping out theLocal Officers,
just like theFine, Fine, Gorgeous example, "allright!!" >:o( "Ok!!", of an Fine looking VillageChick called "Tess",
(by theWay, "ok ok... fine!!", "Allright, allright I got it, ok!, Fine, Fine!! YOU go ahead.. Ok!?" are just a few of her buzzWord expressive verbiage expulsions when she's caught redHanded Importing drugs & alcohol or when she's accused of other things. Ok!! d:o(
Tess, whom many of you fine readers of late, would recall from an earlier AVT!! post called "Turkey In theStraw!!", and where the fine young Tess was one of theTurkeyShoot "shooters" standing on the firing line,
and when it came time for her to shoot at tomTurkey, she shot, missed!! and theGun kicked back really hard,
Causing her to chip a $100 Nail on one of her hands and she threw down theGun and ran through theWoods over to her friends house all blubbering and crying and they played "NailSalon" and fixed jess's... I mean!! "Tess's" broken nail.
...............and Hair, and redid her Makeup to clean up her "RaccoonEyes" from her smeared, runny mascara.
..........and soaked her feet and gave her a pedicure, then she bothered theSam!! via cellPhone, SatellitePhone and sending her young cousins to annoy him until he relented and Massaged her back and shoulders, melting away her stress And Clothes!! d:oD
Yep, THAT Tess!! That Village "10", that cuteOnly!!
We'll follow her fine example here and will look closely at theFace!!, albeit the face of PublicSafety, instead of her FINE features,
and by doing this Looking with a 10X lighted mirror, we'll scour
"theVisage of LEOdom" for blemishes,
for imperfections and then we'll just cover everything up with Concealer, Color and Lipstick, then later on after partying real hard,
we'll see if we can have even theSubSurface of Village events just "softened" up a bit via a few hard punches of Criticism, Strife, and Abuse.
Maybe even throw in some blows and checks by a few jealous Peers to match the earlier Punches and let everything get glossed over nice and Black!! ( and blue, purple-ish and yellowy on theEdges!!)
So. When responding to these Village-"Officer" Assist Codes. Take them with a grain of salt... Hell!! Go buy OUT theVillageGeneralStore of table salt with ANY call from "Tess!!" or any one else of her Caliber & finnicky-ness!!
O-Officer Down,
Is she still sitting UNDER!! the end of thePickup tail gate of theVehicle she stopped, drinking ALL theBooze!!
Is she still tipsy Silly from Smoking all theWeed she confiscated from her "Rivals" and watching their soapOpera DVD's they bought in town!?
S-Suspect Down,
Is she still passed out behind theWheel of thePatrol vehicle after she downed theMeth she took from her friends!?
Is she still "sick" and not able to help you out when some bigName sledDog races use your Village!! as a checkPoint for 5 days and half theYVCInc!! Region swarms the place.
Is she and her Deputized friends half-dressed and barely conscious at an houseParty that she insisted on "watching and busting" if anything bad happened at?!
btw, she does an excellent job of "Bust"ing in what ever she wears, whether it's theMonogrammed & VillageCouncil logo'd Jackets & shirts she gets,
or theVillage!! logo'd outerBallisticVests that remain pristine & pretty as herself!! to theVPO badges she wears on theLeftBreast!! instead of her "piercings" when you've found her drugged up and nude one too many times while she was "OnDuty!!"
C-Civilian Down,
mehh.. You get thePoint.
Believe me.
When theVillage!! sticks it's nose into PublicSafety!! affairs and sends untested, illegal-acting people into local & State affairs without ever having been tried & proven first via REAL LIFE!!, you get officers that sully theImage of Alaska's Public Safety reputation.
You get officers that commit DVE in theVillage!! and then years later,
they're still in Village-power (somehow) and meeting Me!! on the streets of Anchorage-Right after they leave an local Hotel sponsored DVE & crime taskForce workshops.
You get officers that commit abuse & Rape in theVillage!! and then they move to theBigCity!! and go into Security or into program leadership positions for / at local shelters, hospitals, civic based orgs and quietly continue their abusive ways.
10-72
This one is for theSam!! It lets others know that he's back UP on his feet again!!....after drinking, after falling on theIce!!, after crawling UNDER theDeepSinks in theSteakHouseKitchen to sleep for theNight!!
72" is in reference to theSam!!'s height.
10-77
ETA, Estimate Time of Arrival!?, Hardly!! Because, to us Villagers!! Estimate is full of variables, like, road conditions, weather, $ usage, etc, but the Following examples are pretty much set in Stone!! No variables and interuptions here!!
This one stands for Estimated Time of Anna!!, an VillageBootLegger!! She imports only StolinayoichaVodka and....Kool menthols. In raging blizzards, on foot!!, by swimming across theLakes even. Anya always delivers.
This one also stands for Estimated Time of Annoyance!! Which could be another of theSam!!'s silly Blog posts or another annoying music practice soundByte on youTube!!
The power could be out, his passwords blocked, his Language settings accidently put to Hindi / hindu!! and theSam!! always delivers.
This one also stands for Eating Time Again!!, which for theSam!! is clockwork. he could be unemployed (which, he still IS), he could be broke, he could be Drunk!! and he still manages to get stuff to eat.
Thank god for Apt roomies with cush jobs and lots of food!!
10-79
Deceased. Whether by Occipital Occular Implants, Cancelling Christmas!!, Buying theFarm!!,
Whether by JD & Coke bottle Inversion, or ANY liquor bottle Inversion!!
Whether by actually trying to read much less being able to understand!! one of theSam!!'s silly blog posts!!
Whether by actually living IN theVillage!! or even by having an VillageChick!! as your girlfriend!!
and let's face facts here, 9 of 10 Alaskans have actually had some form of contact with an AlaskanVillageChick!! at one point in their lives.
Whether by actually Being an VPSO, VPO or just blogging about it.
Whether by actually having thePublicSafetyCareer go completelyKaput!! out in theVillage!! erh.. Actually, theSam!! as we know him IS just this!!
he is 10-79, "Career Deceased", he just doesn't know it yet.
Let's just let him keep busy in theKitchens and DishPits for now, ok!?
10-80
Prisoner In Custody, The nemonic peg for this tenCode is very easy.
See, everyone that acts up in theVillage!! is just begging YOU to give them your undivided attention. They plead with you theOfficer(s) to "PIC / pick" them!!
Oh pretty please!!, pick me!!, take meee!!"
That's it. pick me.
Even Sam!! knows this, and even theInternet has now followed suite and created something for theSam!! to use in caching his various website faves,
theRSS or ReallySimpleSam!!
i mean... R-E-A-L-L-Y.
Just recently, one of his friends placated him, amused him with a youTube link to some SesameStreet characters, How easy is that!?
10-81
Eating, Coffee (give location), Granted that we require our Officers to check in with various activities they're doing throughout theDay!!,
but trying to get theSam!! to tell us he's eating is difficult enough,
But trying to get him to tell us "WHERE" is downright impossible. it's like trying to enlist Villager cooperation in Investigative events, it just isn't going to happen!!
So.... we're working behind theScenes right now, applying to various foodVendors and deli's, coffeeshops around theCity!! and theState!! to let us know, via theSam!!'s credit card purchases,
just where he's been eating!! Then we'll extrapilate all theInfo from the raw data fed to us and.....
wait... didn't he use to work for and Under theHeavyBreasts!! of thePrincess!! ?? ( . )Y( . )
If we contact her and ask her to help us, she might have theSam!! checking in with us every hour by hour, cos he's deathly afraid of her and her 5 Sisters AND of theSleepingLady!!,
to include theOther AlaskanChick!! msDenali!! (whom btw, hasn't claimed anymore hikerz & climbers lately)
10-82
This Space Open for Suggestion!!, as if theSam!! hasn't caused us enough reason to expand the ten codes TEN fold!!
10-83
No Contact!!, When some officers talk with each other via theRadio, and trying to contact Another entity via radio, upon getting no contact or no response.
theOfficer initiating contact might then speak to Everyone and yet, noOne in particular and say "10-83", Negative contact.
which means, that no one answered, and this also implies to thePeople / entity being contacted, that they are no longer bound by circumstance to reply,
they are no longer needed anymore, Life, etc as well as theCurrent emergency or Duty situation has moved on........and left them behind.
I never had to ever think of this 10 Code until I started working out at theAirport.
Those police officers were slow to respond to us SecurityOfficers radio calls,
they considered us SecurityOfficers a nuisance and they still think this way about current TedStevens Intl Airport Ramp securityOfficers.
theTraveling public is pretty much free to drive on up and park their vehicles by theCurbside on theRamps of North or SouthTerminal and Leave their vehicles UnAttended!!
I know this because some SecurityOfficers still tell me today, that this still goes on. And from time to time I have gone out to the airport and stood around observing things.
Nothing's changed, and nothing will improve in matters of theAirport police being an upbeat, positive and friendly entity to theSecuriatas people working for them. Of which I was one of these ramp security officers at one time. Whom tried to reach out and be friendly to the police.
I'm sure it was a blessing in disguise to quit theSecurity field altogether and go to work in a couple of high end restaurants and end up working for a spouse of one of these police officers,
to see and hear how an officer came to be in uniform from civilian life, very intriguing, noble and very admirable, and very sad.
Cos alcohol just loosens some people up, and even getting close to people in some fashion just loosens them up, and everyone talks about their spouses, their friends, their loves and losts,
You see, people in Uniform see it the most.
We see into other people's lives, and we see things fragile, things most would want to consider forgotten, we see ugliness and bitterness,
We see beauty as well. We see that the human condition can rise above much obstacle and opposition.
And we also see that some people, or organizations, groups, cultures can't rise above and can't ever be what they were meant to be.
So it is with this last paragraph, that I lump the current group of Police at TSIA as. With exception of 3 officers, NONE were friendly, none were approachable.
They don't care at all about the traveling public, they waste space, time, $ and resources.
And people like that I will soon relegate to status of how I look at those few AST personnel, whom have also worked against me, and whom may only receive forgiveness from me and theVillagePublic in general for whom I want to go back to work for, by shedding their own blood.
Various Police and StateTroopers complain about personnel shortage and yet, never consider those that have already been in their midst and those that have they have seen before, and to deny meaningful employment and work for those of us already tried, tested and proven, is indeed an offense of grievous weight and they will pay.
It will happen. And I will see it.
10-86
Providing Transport!!, when transporting those Village 10's!! around, you want to spend about $86 or more in duct tape, soft rope, extra harnesses, buckles and some spitHoodz!!
You also wanna check your Odometer readings no less than 86 times after writing theSTART of your trip.
And then you want to buy $86 or more in Snacks and drinks for the 86minute+!! trip to theCity!!,
You also wanna set theCar stereo volume settings to well above one hundred 86Decibels so that you won't hear any of your Prisoners screaming at you.
Also, when you have to pull over for a Pee break by the side of the road,
Apply the86% / percentage of Bug spray and roll down theBack vehicle doors and let theSummer Mosquitos Feed Feed Feed!!
on your 8.6 prisoners!!
10-87
Security / Bar check!!,
theSam!! is very good at this tenCode!!
he goes in, he works for them!!, he's in BOH / back of house!!, he's underfoot, often complaining that he's "underfed!!", he's dressed up like them!!
yep. And after about 7 to 8 months of working in downtown area, ALL Secure!!
10-88
Ibid!!,
as in, ate and ate and ate and ate and ate.... and ate and ate again!!
and ate and ate and ate for like, 8 months now.
And ate and ate and ate steak, mashed tators and CheeseCake!!
10-92
Are You Clear for Confidential Information!?
Upon acknowledgement, hit "record" and broadcast info, then Upload Video, MP3, etc to Internet.
this 10-92 code is for use when passing on any prisoner medical history information upon... I dunno...
Any rashes, warts, any outbreaks, any stalactyte or stalagmite formations they may have needing medical attentions of, for any weepings, drippings, any perule eruptions, for any cauliflower-like, ice crystal looking formations etc,
And you might include, theGirls last partners and if such a person is in custody of Another officer or is in another Village!! Just wait a few days for them screaming in pain while urinating before you take them into custody.
And while you're at it, when taking any Prisoner into Custody, you light up theBack of thePatrolVehicle and let your prisoners sit in theSpotLight, and drive around theVillage!! if you can,
let everyone see this. This often delivers a poignant, provoking message to everyone else of ill-repute, that you care not for their privacy and for their issues in light of "them" not caring for their broken, bleeding Victims!!
10-93
Subject a Possible Health Hazard, Just think about this one, if you don't wanna live to be 93!!
Then don't take precautions when dealing with drooling, bleeding, really scummy prisoners.
Seriously. You always glove up when dealing with irate, raving mad VillageChixxx!!
Just carry your own BoxingGloves or use those really cool WristWrap black colored FightingGloves!!
And what with OSHA breathing down everyone's neck these days, with those MSDS listings to read and memorize regarding plain old TapWater!!
Start applying for federal grants today!! Not for more $, OverTime Pay, not for more uniforms and more LEO equipment & Tools, not for more weapons and training,
And certainly not for office supplies and computers and BroadBand comms for theVillage!! and for your humble VPSO office.
noo...
You apply now for those cool looking Blue or Neon yellow MoonSuits!!
You can be the envy of AlaskaVillagePublicSafety when you respond to the next DVE / domestic violence event in your own customized blimpy suit, complete with KlearKevlar face dome,
your PermaGrab!! piston-Powered extend-an-Arm probe (for searching behind house Couches & Sofa's for hiding, drunken Parolees!!) and for keeping irate Village Granma's at bay!!
the2006, 7, and 8 Models from LabSafety'sSupply, Gals Supply and PopoMan'sFrend!! come for a low low price of 4Mil each!!
And each suit is rated to 5 VillageCouncil!!'s on theDept of Justice-AlaskaDivision & Forestry's, Rural PublicSafety PPE devices, zootSuits and VPSOEnclosures listings!!
However, these suits are NOT villageChildren!! proof, but they are rated from 3rd grader Resistant and below!!
Order now and you get free "VPSO", "VPO" or even "VillageCouncil, damnit!!" logo's front and back.
and we'll even throw in free shipping to the nearest AST post hub!!
And no Sam!!, theGasCanister Projectile sleeves are not meant for shooting snowballs!!
And we wouldn't want you to go "Sigourney!!" on us, like that one Alien movie scene when she hopped into that ForkLift device and fought theMotherQueenAlien!!
we already heard about you and the time you took on thePoorVillager!! that had the enviable task of moving all junk cars out to theDump!! and you were mad that he didn't build you a snipersNest!!
theCouncil's still furious that you damaged theSnowPlow-blade on theDutyTruck during that runIn with theRented carMoverCaterpillar theVillager!! was driving!!
10-96
Mental Subject, mehh... just read ANY of theAbove mentioned wordings, to Include ANY other Blog Post!!
Or as theSam!! puts in in Village!! vernacular, "Mom!!", "Dad" etc, when addressing his relatives, his Granma's & Granpa's, or even when stating theObvious and completely Oblivious!! - "all my Relations!!"
d:oP
10-97
Negative Wanted, very rarely will Dispatch ever say this tenCode to you when you contact "any" Villager!!
And theSam!! always experiences this phenomenon out in theVillage!! pretty much 20 days out of 30 / 31.
Then after Payday!!, theSam!! is Alaska'sMostWanted!!
d:oO (panic!!)
10-98
Officer safety information, very rarely has this code been used to tell theSam!! anything.
As most villageOfficers are the last to know anything!!
But once in awhile theTroops will mail, fax or deliver an posting to theVPSO's / VPO's personally.
*sigh*
and lately they've been looking at AVT alot!!
as evidence to warn others....
d:o)
10-99
Wanted or Stolen,
Unknown to most Villagers!! or alaskan's in general, ANY radio call or code is JUST THIS!!
An Wanted or Stolen bulletin.
cos, in theVillage!!, if it isn't concrete rooted, nailed down or upon cinder blocks it's gonna get stolen......eventually.
Other, Ms ellaneous!!
ADAM
Armed & Dangerous?! no. Aimless Dialogue Another "moment", as in, another Blog posting from theSam!!
AYCH
Armed yet Completely harmless!! Yep, that's theSam!!
ABSCWHY
Armed but suction cups won't hurt you!! d:oP, this classification also was briefly held by VillageCouncil!! empowered & Endorsed mischiefous VillageChick!! Tess!!,
But her Tyco sideArm ran out of "spring", and cos she started feeling her Pregnancy early!!, she had weird food cravings and ate thePop!! caps for her StarterPistol!!
KAFPO
Keyboarded and Fired, Pissed off!! d:o( Basically theSam!!, a job and theInet!!
Felony
Pretty much what awaits any offender if they mess with a VillageChick!! As every Village!! has an "msFelony!!" living in their midst, and some villages don't even know it yet!!
msFelony starts stealing peoples (especially mens) hearts after birth, by 9 months she knows that throwing tantrums gets people to pay her attention!!,
her manHunting begins at age 6, and shortly after that she's involved in her first DVE!!,
when she and her 2nd cousin get into a fight one winters day outside over who's more Dindin!! than whom, and who's more White blooded than whom, and she hurls a piece of snow covered ice at the head of her male cousin, splitting his lip!! and she is driving vehicles by 8.
By 9 she's drinking and has smoked too, at 10 she's been in VPSO custody several times with her friends, by 12 she's been in and out of cityJail!!
at 13 fate "endows" her body revvs up her hormones causes her to obsess over her hair, makeup and what flavor of bubblegum goes with her one pair of shoes, and theReal trouble begins!!
MsDemeanor
the2nd female cousin to Felony!! She's more controllable, will mope quietly and will do her own homework instead of getting her VPSO / VPO husband to doing it for her!!.....
wait. did I say that?!
And she'll quietly wait till everyone else has passed out before quietly drinking.
She'll actually graduate school, will go to College and learn to scheme, plan and plot on a much grander scale!!
And lately, YVCInc!! has pretty much, just carLoads of these chicks!! working for them, erhh... for me!!
MsBehavin'
She's pretty much Everything that Felony & msDemeanor is, but she wears a dress, she has kids and she drives the speed limit in theVillage!!
and she'll draw the curtains tight when watching late night tv and sipping JD & Coke!!
She has been Tess a few times for her village!!, she has been Felony but never got caught and prefers to just behave in public!!
Traffic out in theVillage!!, this can range from dozens of cars and trucks lining the street per villageFestival, PotLatch, etc
or it can be just theSam!! walking his beat, and also includes the torn, tattered White plastic grocer sack that occasionally flutters, bounces and drifts on theBreeze up and down theVillage!! streets,
year after year after year....
Locate
what pretty much every Villager!! is unable of doing or being unable to simply be!!
They'll phone call you, they'll hint at Alcohol shipments coming in on specific nights and whom is coming IN,
they'll testify in court and help put offenders away but, they cannot for the life of them Help you FIND any of the alcohol & drugs.
they just draw a blank when it comes to helping your war, which is in fact, their drug war!!
10-100
How old we all feel when dealing repeatedly with theSam!!
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