Death of a Salesman!!
Death of a Salesman!!
------------------
So.... I see you're,
You're applying for High-End Car Salesman is it?!
and your name...
it's... yor Name; theSam!!, is that it?!
oh... You want me to emphasis it like I'm making a shouting statement!?
ummm.
maybe later after I chase you off my Lot.....
Whad I say?!,, ernh, It was nothing...
nothing Sam!!
and... your "Foot Steps:"
-High School graduate,
Yes, I would.....
would hope so.. *ahem*.
Middle, Jr & Sr yrs after school work program as: Stockyard, BenFranklin Retail sales & Stockroom, usedCar Lot porter.
Uh huh..
I see that as StockYard Hand you ran up and down thePen Lanes and livestock were driven off theWeightscales and into various pens to be held until their owners finished auction buying and the cattle were loaded up.
uh.. Sam,,, Sam!!
Is this where you learned to explain theBenefits, Features and Functions of a particular product?!
Yes..
I can see where sending a load of Goats and horses bound for Impound and theDogFood factories being sent home with mrFarmer,
in his $20,000 50' 8wheeled trailer towed behind his $40,000 Intake-a-Max!! Fuel guzzler DualliePickup,
would give Anyone experience in saying it was theBest thing to happen to him since
well..... since he had a load of Goats and horses bound for Impound sent home with him.
What sir!?
oh.. that is where you also learned to negotiate with people with loaded fire arms in their hands?!
and not in theVillage!!
as it states further on in your, Online resume you faxed by Bike courier to us,
I see sir.
So. How was theRetail work for you in highSchool erh.. Sam!!
..ahhh.
Yes, I can see that dropping a pen on thePurchase Manifest and attempting to fix the"Mark", mistake on it and then
reWriting in a new purchase figure would get anyone fired.
What was that?!
Your store ended up awash in Beanie babies, BMX bikes and poupouri!?
Was this before or after your SalesManagers carried you Out of the store upon the CoatRack!?
after....
and..
oh.. You ended up painting the parking lot with your own shirt!?
wow.... I'm impressed sa.. Sam!!
Hold On a moment Sam!!
I've got a buyer on line 3, I need to coSign a Loan for them,
We're just moving those 2007 models off the lot faster than thePolice can respond to our "stolenVehicle" reports!! be back in a jiff.
I'll have someone get you a coke while you wait sir.. erhh. Sam!!
Well sir.
Sorry to keep you waiting.
I could see theHD screen go to TenTV channel and the remainder of theMovie
"CoozedCars!!" was ordered while I hagled some more with my customer,
first time theDealerShips been packed since I had theFlyingCircusSisters visit and THEY were thePettingZoo!!
*sigh*
btw, I seem to have misplaced my wallet with my C-C's and I.D.
I'm sure I'll find them here though, I mean.
Those CC numbers flashing across the screen, that ordered "theBlueWheels and HotRodBalls!!" seemed kind of familiar... uh..
Where were we?! oh yes..
So sam!! SAM!!
how was theLotPorter time for ya'?!
...y-o-u d-o-n-t r-e-m-e-m-b-e-r-?-!
Well. I guess I wouldn't either if "I" found a case of JD or a magnum of SouthernComfort in every car I cleaned and washed too.
And when was this?!
Sr year,
yooo.
You don't recall anything?!
uh huh...
uh huh....
Were theWheels crossHatched and had Tick marks like, an arrow point or were they
channeled down theMiddle and like a Waffle pattern EVERY 2",
oh..
Well Sam!!
*ahem...*
The cars that your,
your Friends locked you in that time you vacuamed out theTrunk,
was an 1985 Chrysler Impala.
a foreRunner to thePolice models being used exclusively by thePoPo "here" in town,
yes sir...
I,
I saw YOU too when your GF was carrying you out of Detox last weekend after servicePatrol picked you up.
Yes, she was Livid, and carrying you like a rag doll, herz so petite and small.
Boy, does she do donkeySquats with you Sam!?
oh.. YOU wear theCuffs.
and theDonkey died last year............
ok...
And, no, I was, I was only holding theWheel for a Friend!!
But he wasn't with me at that time, In fact, it wasn't my pickup either!!
uh.. please don't let theGF be offended,
I didn't mean to sing to her that country song,
hey.....
It's YOU that sings to her!!
*breaks out laughing....*
yes sir, she was complaining all along theDrive to Jail that a boyFriend of hers
annoyed the hell out of her singing that dumb song.
..no sir..
I.
I bailed myself out that night and taxi'd home.
Anyway Sam!!
your school friends locked you inside that type of car and that was the tread pattern on the spare tires,
oh yes!!
We "HAVE" to know these things sir,
We deal in basically everything now adays.
See,
OUR LotPorters have gone into RealEstate when they find left over DeedPortfolios left over in the cars we repo or buy and turn around to sell.
OUR LotPorters even deal theDrugs they find,
*leans closer*
why'd you think we're still IN business!!
anyway Sam!!
Think harder and I'm sure that one month working at the used lot will come back to you, btw,
howz theLiver!!
oh.. Sorry.
no sir,
We, we don't play games like that here,
*glances at current resume stats*
cos I see that, that occasionally you Live in theGreenDumpster behind theBar!! and that, everyone basically passes out in theBroomCloset after theParty's over.
You're in enough Shenaniganz it looks like
*staring incredulously at Resume & application*
Aside from Pin theTail on theSucker!!
Fleece theMilitary member!! and
HoodWinking theCreditors!! and a host of other games, no sir,
We won't be locking YOU in any trunks of cars....
and..
Sam...
Sam!!
that "Other" car you got locked into that spring day,
It's called an "El Camino",
theyyyyyy don't have trunks sir.
They've got pickup beds sir,
Cos they kind of look like lil' short, squat, flattened out pickup,
And the "Trunk" that you also got locked in.
sir...
*leans in again*
All you have to do next time someone locks you inside theBack of an elCamino or ANY other pickup bed,
IS SIT UP slowly sir,
then climb OUT of the pickup bed.
Well Sam!!
I see your start in Sales started long ago,
in fact, I think that's why your snout is so big!!
yes sir,
I can read anyone's mind.
I know what bothers you son.
uh.... If you don't want it to keep on growing,
I suggest you "don't" work for us, or for ANY lot.
but, that's your choice!!
what?!,
what did I do before moving to Alaska and selling trucks?!
*sighs*
Well.
I once owned a 10Mile by 8Mile patch of farm,
and one day I rounded up my best Brahma bulls, my best Herefords and 2 of my prize quarterhorse and took them to auction,
I got about $200K in credit for them bulls, cos they were good breeding, and my Herefords, they fetched me about $8K each, and my quarterHorses,
I got $30K each, they were good, solid Fast mounts,
And with about $27K I bought some young Heifers and was going to drive back the next day to pick up the remainder of theHerd that I'd leave behind that night.
They were good cows, ready for breeding and they'd help me with my FeedLot business that I had.
And while my wife, Kids and I were inside theAuction house restaurant eating a celebratory meal before heading home,
"someone",
one of the stock hands I was told, had messed up my purchase orders or else,
someone had messed up in Penning my cattle and had somehow instead,
loaded up my 50' double trailer with a herd of.....
-------------------------------
theVillage!!
more fun than a case of Jack!!...
with theHangover AND theVPSO beating!!
theVillage!!
who needs to play "SimpleSimon"!?
We got SimpleSam!!
theVillage!!
dancing with theBaton stars!!
those Ones we see after theBeatings!!
theVillage!!
still with NVOL!!
New Village Officer LEFT!!
.........running!!
theVillage!!
if you can’t, you’ve either listened to Us!!
Or else You're One Of Us, cos around here,
Basically only theSam!! tells us that we can't!!
d:o(
theVillage!!
"Dates" to remember,
theTime we ran out of Olives when drinking Martinis,
by then we were so plastered, we all took dibs on theMooseCow eye balls,
theFishEyes and those 2 SledDogs that Sam!! had just killed.
yyeecch!! d:o.
theVillage!!
and theMeek shall inherit theEarth!!
right after us Villagers stop getting arrested and our heads
knelt upon!!
theVillage!!
selling our Souls perBottle and selling out our Officers too!!
theVillage!!
even when theVillageChixxx!! hands' are full,
they at least get a pinkie stretched out and into a new Officers pockets!!
theVillage!!
even when our hands are up,
our wrists still Pour!!
theVillage!!
everybody hates theSam!!
but they find his close shaven / or bald noggin' a funny sight to see
especially in theWinter!!
theVillage!!
Still in fetal position ALL week after ST Paddy's Daytoo!!
come to think of it,
when NOT in FetalPosition passed out,
then in crouchingPosition cowering & screaming after theOfficers baton
us defending themselves-after we attack them!!
theVillage!!
no Officer was harmed in the making of this Blog Post although a few of them
were vaguely amused!!
theVillage!!
no Officers efforts unstoppable!!
except those whose efforts to Stop theOfficers were eventually themselves
stopped,
like that one car wrapped around theTree!! just outside theVillage!!
and about 50 miles away from theVillage, like that one car rolled down embankment!!
and about mile 9 where that Other car still sits in theCreek!!
theVillage!!
our bright shining moments come when we see an VPSO badge shining before our eyes!!
theVillage!!
Gnu attitude!!
(those silly Gazelle or beasts that Chrysler Impala uses for logos!!
An silly attempt at COP humor!!
That an person, place, or thing is in public realm and knowledge for being
associated with another person, place or thing that is also in public realm and
that everyone has some form of knowledge of!!)
theVillage!!
Still unIncorporated!!
Still unEmployed!! like Sam!! still is d:o)
and apparently Stillunphased by anything happening around it!!
oh... and Still unDertheInfluence!!
theVillage!!
to whom theTerm, "I see!!"
has Nothing to do with embracing an idea, concept or Order from theVPSO or his baton and everything to do with what kind of Drink is Currently available
when anyone sees theSam!! pouring out Alcohol upon theCold hard winter ground!!
(they go back later on with a hammer and a screwDriver to chip up theAlcohol)
Icy, Icy!!
this SillyBlog!!
dome, dome, juss domb!!
d:oP
luvs,
theSam!!
slflyinghorse
anchorage, ak
-alaskavillagetales-
------------------
So.... I see you're,
You're applying for High-End Car Salesman is it?!
and your name...
it's... yor Name; theSam!!, is that it?!
oh... You want me to emphasis it like I'm making a shouting statement!?
ummm.
maybe later after I chase you off my Lot.....
Whad I say?!,, ernh, It was nothing...
nothing Sam!!
and... your "Foot Steps:"
-High School graduate,
Yes, I would.....
would hope so.. *ahem*.
Middle, Jr & Sr yrs after school work program as: Stockyard, BenFranklin Retail sales & Stockroom, usedCar Lot porter.
Uh huh..
I see that as StockYard Hand you ran up and down thePen Lanes and livestock were driven off theWeightscales and into various pens to be held until their owners finished auction buying and the cattle were loaded up.
uh.. Sam,,, Sam!!
Is this where you learned to explain theBenefits, Features and Functions of a particular product?!
Yes..
I can see where sending a load of Goats and horses bound for Impound and theDogFood factories being sent home with mrFarmer,
in his $20,000 50' 8wheeled trailer towed behind his $40,000 Intake-a-Max!! Fuel guzzler DualliePickup,
would give Anyone experience in saying it was theBest thing to happen to him since
well..... since he had a load of Goats and horses bound for Impound sent home with him.
What sir!?
oh.. that is where you also learned to negotiate with people with loaded fire arms in their hands?!
and not in theVillage!!
as it states further on in your, Online resume you faxed by Bike courier to us,
I see sir.
So. How was theRetail work for you in highSchool erh.. Sam!!
..ahhh.
Yes, I can see that dropping a pen on thePurchase Manifest and attempting to fix the"Mark", mistake on it and then
reWriting in a new purchase figure would get anyone fired.
What was that?!
Your store ended up awash in Beanie babies, BMX bikes and poupouri!?
Was this before or after your SalesManagers carried you Out of the store upon the CoatRack!?
after....
and..
oh.. You ended up painting the parking lot with your own shirt!?
wow.... I'm impressed sa.. Sam!!
Hold On a moment Sam!!
I've got a buyer on line 3, I need to coSign a Loan for them,
We're just moving those 2007 models off the lot faster than thePolice can respond to our "stolenVehicle" reports!! be back in a jiff.
I'll have someone get you a coke while you wait sir.. erhh. Sam!!
Well sir.
Sorry to keep you waiting.
I could see theHD screen go to TenTV channel and the remainder of theMovie
"CoozedCars!!" was ordered while I hagled some more with my customer,
first time theDealerShips been packed since I had theFlyingCircusSisters visit and THEY were thePettingZoo!!
*sigh*
btw, I seem to have misplaced my wallet with my C-C's and I.D.
I'm sure I'll find them here though, I mean.
Those CC numbers flashing across the screen, that ordered "theBlueWheels and HotRodBalls!!" seemed kind of familiar... uh..
Where were we?! oh yes..
So sam!! SAM!!
how was theLotPorter time for ya'?!
...y-o-u d-o-n-t r-e-m-e-m-b-e-r-?-!
Well. I guess I wouldn't either if "I" found a case of JD or a magnum of SouthernComfort in every car I cleaned and washed too.
And when was this?!
Sr year,
yooo.
You don't recall anything?!
uh huh...
uh huh....
Were theWheels crossHatched and had Tick marks like, an arrow point or were they
channeled down theMiddle and like a Waffle pattern EVERY 2",
oh..
Well Sam!!
*ahem...*
The cars that your,
your Friends locked you in that time you vacuamed out theTrunk,
was an 1985 Chrysler Impala.
a foreRunner to thePolice models being used exclusively by thePoPo "here" in town,
yes sir...
I,
I saw YOU too when your GF was carrying you out of Detox last weekend after servicePatrol picked you up.
Yes, she was Livid, and carrying you like a rag doll, herz so petite and small.
Boy, does she do donkeySquats with you Sam!?
oh.. YOU wear theCuffs.
and theDonkey died last year............
ok...
And, no, I was, I was only holding theWheel for a Friend!!
But he wasn't with me at that time, In fact, it wasn't my pickup either!!
uh.. please don't let theGF be offended,
I didn't mean to sing to her that country song,
hey.....
It's YOU that sings to her!!
*breaks out laughing....*
yes sir, she was complaining all along theDrive to Jail that a boyFriend of hers
annoyed the hell out of her singing that dumb song.
..no sir..
I.
I bailed myself out that night and taxi'd home.
Anyway Sam!!
your school friends locked you inside that type of car and that was the tread pattern on the spare tires,
oh yes!!
We "HAVE" to know these things sir,
We deal in basically everything now adays.
See,
OUR LotPorters have gone into RealEstate when they find left over DeedPortfolios left over in the cars we repo or buy and turn around to sell.
OUR LotPorters even deal theDrugs they find,
*leans closer*
why'd you think we're still IN business!!
anyway Sam!!
Think harder and I'm sure that one month working at the used lot will come back to you, btw,
howz theLiver!!
oh.. Sorry.
no sir,
We, we don't play games like that here,
*glances at current resume stats*
cos I see that, that occasionally you Live in theGreenDumpster behind theBar!! and that, everyone basically passes out in theBroomCloset after theParty's over.
You're in enough Shenaniganz it looks like
*staring incredulously at Resume & application*
Aside from Pin theTail on theSucker!!
Fleece theMilitary member!! and
HoodWinking theCreditors!! and a host of other games, no sir,
We won't be locking YOU in any trunks of cars....
and..
Sam...
Sam!!
that "Other" car you got locked into that spring day,
It's called an "El Camino",
theyyyyyy don't have trunks sir.
They've got pickup beds sir,
Cos they kind of look like lil' short, squat, flattened out pickup,
And the "Trunk" that you also got locked in.
sir...
*leans in again*
All you have to do next time someone locks you inside theBack of an elCamino or ANY other pickup bed,
IS SIT UP slowly sir,
then climb OUT of the pickup bed.
Well Sam!!
I see your start in Sales started long ago,
in fact, I think that's why your snout is so big!!
yes sir,
I can read anyone's mind.
I know what bothers you son.
uh.... If you don't want it to keep on growing,
I suggest you "don't" work for us, or for ANY lot.
but, that's your choice!!
what?!,
what did I do before moving to Alaska and selling trucks?!
*sighs*
Well.
I once owned a 10Mile by 8Mile patch of farm,
and one day I rounded up my best Brahma bulls, my best Herefords and 2 of my prize quarterhorse and took them to auction,
I got about $200K in credit for them bulls, cos they were good breeding, and my Herefords, they fetched me about $8K each, and my quarterHorses,
I got $30K each, they were good, solid Fast mounts,
And with about $27K I bought some young Heifers and was going to drive back the next day to pick up the remainder of theHerd that I'd leave behind that night.
They were good cows, ready for breeding and they'd help me with my FeedLot business that I had.
And while my wife, Kids and I were inside theAuction house restaurant eating a celebratory meal before heading home,
"someone",
one of the stock hands I was told, had messed up my purchase orders or else,
someone had messed up in Penning my cattle and had somehow instead,
loaded up my 50' double trailer with a herd of.....
-------------------------------
theVillage!!
more fun than a case of Jack!!...
with theHangover AND theVPSO beating!!
theVillage!!
who needs to play "SimpleSimon"!?
We got SimpleSam!!
theVillage!!
dancing with theBaton stars!!
those Ones we see after theBeatings!!
theVillage!!
still with NVOL!!
New Village Officer LEFT!!
.........running!!
theVillage!!
if you can’t, you’ve either listened to Us!!
Or else You're One Of Us, cos around here,
Basically only theSam!! tells us that we can't!!
d:o(
theVillage!!
"Dates" to remember,
theTime we ran out of Olives when drinking Martinis,
by then we were so plastered, we all took dibs on theMooseCow eye balls,
theFishEyes and those 2 SledDogs that Sam!! had just killed.
yyeecch!! d:o.
theVillage!!
and theMeek shall inherit theEarth!!
right after us Villagers stop getting arrested and our heads
knelt upon!!
theVillage!!
selling our Souls perBottle and selling out our Officers too!!
theVillage!!
even when theVillageChixxx!! hands' are full,
they at least get a pinkie stretched out and into a new Officers pockets!!
theVillage!!
even when our hands are up,
our wrists still Pour!!
theVillage!!
everybody hates theSam!!
but they find his close shaven / or bald noggin' a funny sight to see
especially in theWinter!!
theVillage!!
Still in fetal position ALL week after ST Paddy's Daytoo!!
come to think of it,
when NOT in FetalPosition passed out,
then in crouchingPosition cowering & screaming after theOfficers baton
us defending themselves-after we attack them!!
theVillage!!
no Officer was harmed in the making of this Blog Post although a few of them
were vaguely amused!!
theVillage!!
no Officers efforts unstoppable!!
except those whose efforts to Stop theOfficers were eventually themselves
stopped,
like that one car wrapped around theTree!! just outside theVillage!!
and about 50 miles away from theVillage, like that one car rolled down embankment!!
and about mile 9 where that Other car still sits in theCreek!!
theVillage!!
our bright shining moments come when we see an VPSO badge shining before our eyes!!
theVillage!!
Gnu attitude!!
(those silly Gazelle or beasts that Chrysler Impala uses for logos!!
An silly attempt at COP humor!!
That an person, place, or thing is in public realm and knowledge for being
associated with another person, place or thing that is also in public realm and
that everyone has some form of knowledge of!!)
theVillage!!
Still unIncorporated!!
Still unEmployed!! like Sam!! still is d:o)
and apparently Stillunphased by anything happening around it!!
oh... and Still unDertheInfluence!!
theVillage!!
to whom theTerm, "I see!!"
has Nothing to do with embracing an idea, concept or Order from theVPSO or his baton and everything to do with what kind of Drink is Currently available
when anyone sees theSam!! pouring out Alcohol upon theCold hard winter ground!!
(they go back later on with a hammer and a screwDriver to chip up theAlcohol)
Icy, Icy!!
this SillyBlog!!
dome, dome, juss domb!!
d:oP
luvs,
theSam!!
slflyinghorse
anchorage, ak
-alaskavillagetales-
Comments