Foot Steps!!

Feb 2008

Samuel L. Flyinghorse
Anchorage, Alaska
------------------------
An Brutally Honest Look at Self!!

Foot Steps:
-High School graduate, 1986,

Lived with an lds foster family in St anthony, idaho.
I had thought mormons were nice people until I got sent to this one family.

I hated life there, as it turned out, the school teacher man was very arrogant in his ways and lorded over his household and family in regards to his church priesthood and his own domineering personality.

I knew that something was wrong with this man, when one morning after stepping downstairs from my bedroom, while the family was preparing for breakfast, I turned on the tv to catch the news.

and the man turned off the tv and unplugged the set.

I now know the meaning of church fanaticism, and of how brainwashed people can get in staying away "from the world" and of husbands and parents dominating and controlling their family.

I used to enjoy scripture reading, and from time to time, do open up the good books but at that time while I was in high school,

these fanatic people would blindly get up at 0700hrs and be dressed & showered and downstairs to read scriptures aloud around the breakfast table before we'd eat.

Having to do something, or being made to do something like that. So blind, so unfeeling and uncaring. Just to let other neighbors see that Yes, you're up, the blinds are open,

Look at us being oh so fucking spiritual and look at us being good mormons.
At the time I just thought it was a nuisance, but obeyed anyway, I was a minor for heavens sake.

and knew that if I were to survive my last year in public school before serving a church mission, then I'd better graduate and that meant, doing what I was told for the time being.

god, I never want to put anyone else through that shit.
of making someone do something that they don't want to do, like fucking get up and get dressed and pretend your happy and pretend your a happy family and read the damn scriptures.

I haven't thought of these people I stayed with for years.
And it's not because the children were bad, it's theParents I hate so much.

One day mr Allen told me, that my Lakota teachings and ways were irrelevant to him and to the church,

he told me that he would gladly stomp on sacred ground, as it were, to get me to think like him and to to get me to obey.

Which was a first really, that I'd ever heard any church member or good Mormon say to me, an minority, that my old Native ways didn't matter to them and that I had to conform.

Maybe I should have done what his other Indian placement program students had done and rebelled and left the home.

Maybe I should have not ever gone on placement!!
Because, at one time I did side with the lds church, but lately, I quit, I resigned and pretty much got my letter years ago from slc and life goes on.

fuck the church,
fuck the Allens in st anthony!!,

the man would bully and abuse his kids, and would bully me too.
And one time when mr allen was feeling aggressive and mean, in lecturing me he did also push me backward violently against the wall,

and push me again, and slap me with his open palms.
I was scared, but angry too.

And mr allen was close to having me fight back, because, just 2 yrs earlier I had defended my dear mother and sister against an former stepdad of ours, when after he got violent with my mother, I put an axe handle to his head, and in essence became a man that day.

and here mr allen was goading me and belittling me and berating me for something and he started to get physically abusive to me just like he did treat his own wife and kids.

the mormons say that the christ they worship is the groom, or husband and that the church or its members are the bride, the family and that we should obey the groom or the father figure,

the leader and follow him.
but I ask you. Do you want to love and follow someone that picks on you every day?!
I ask you. Do you want to love and follow someone whom domestically abuses you?!

I don't think so.
But I toughed it out and stayed with that fucked up mormon family and then I went on my church mission.

honestly, I don't know how I graduated.
Because I had to get basic math out of the way for electives and so, I got put in with the freshman for algebra and I had some english courses to do as well.

Stuff that you have to complete during high school in order to graduate and here we are.

mr priesthood, mr allen wants me to get out of the house and get a job on top of all that I was doing and had to do.
the pressure was enormous, but I managed.

I even went to local ward (congregation) leaders and told them of mr allen being abusive to me and that I didn't like it.
I know that they talked to him about it but nothing was further mentioned to me by my bishops or other ward leaders.

And those were men I respected deeply, and it would have helped me much to have someone tell me that things would have been alright, but instead,

I got silence.
thank god the physical abuse stopped.

I graduated. and never looked back.
fuck you allens' and fuck your church.

-LDS/Mormon, Church missionary,
Oct 1986-1988 to Canada Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada,

like theCliche' goes amongst church members.
This truly was the best 2 years of my life.

I wasn't an Star missionary that got up early and went to bed on time and read the scriptures every day, nor did I always feel the holyGhost all the time either and I certainly didn't heal the sick, raise the dead etc.

But I was there in Canada for reasons totally behond me at the moment, and sometimes, even now I wonder why I went there when years later, I could give a rats ass about old horny joe and his secretly marrying other men's wifes and of his polyandry, his pedophilia and his constant seeking of money, fame and power.

remember that the early mormons went from place to place and were driven out from various places, Not because they were different, not because they were poor picked on Christians.

But because they were so obnoxious as to intrude upon others their lifestyle and their bizarre religious beliefs that when you wouldn't listen to them or accept them,

they got angry and eventually, blood was shed and the poor mormon settlers were picked on and driven out, persecuted they were oh boo hoo!!

They tried to set up their own gov't, they started their own militia, the prophet joe smith even printed up his own money after starting his own bank,

and eventually the mormons fled the country!! by moving out west to uncharted, Non US territory to start their own utopia.

Study their history yes, but read also from NON lds sources and also study their history from their own people, the many journals and memoirs written by early saints that were there.

the lds church wants to paint a rosy picture for you to see and accept, to believe and to tell others about, But behind the nice facade, lies coverups of murders, lies shady financial dealings and lies skeleton after skeleton in the lds closet.

They don't want you to know about the philanderings of their prophet joe smith and his cronies, they don't want you to know about the revisions and retelling and embellishing of various visions of God & Christ, of Angelic visitations and of many other things that the momons believe in.

I, for one, don't believe any of that shit anymore.
I don't buy into the lies they told me, and I'm sad that I wasted 2 yrs of my life spreading and promoting lies, and yet,

I'm glad that I never baptized crowds and crowds of people into the church either.
I just found many people and would start to teach them the lessons and then someone else would take over.

And if you think that even church business regarding missionaries is divinely inspired think again. Maybe some of it is, but not always.

Even the mission office in canada where I served was a highly political place. Day to day business was just that, business and nothing more.

One day when some of us Missionaries were sitting down in the small lobby area resting and waiting for our Sr companions to finish what business THEY had to do,

the Mission President D. Hoskin had stepped outside his office for a moment and then went back in-only to quickly stick his head out and motion some of the most Sr /or leadership wise Missionaries over to him,

"Couldn't THEY, meaning us idle Elders, be out tracting or contacting people instead of just wasting the Lords time!?"

and by golly. the fucked up mishPrez was right ya' know.
Get us new and jr missionaries, who were Tired from what daily Tracting / door to door walking that we had been doing AALL week, all month, all year, up off our "lazy" asses and back out the door to go bother people!!

And so some of us took a car out and parked it on some residential street and for convenience sake, of not being seen by our "Inspired mishon pezdent", we tracted some more while other missionaries finished what work they were doing.

It only took us a couple of hours, but that, in my opinion was a waste of MY time.
Nobody but us who tracted knew really how the day to day work went.
Not some stuffy Suit in an office job, not some ass kissing brown nosing missionary that wanted to only stay in the business office and NOT end up tracting like us "common missionaries".

All political!!
Because we had to do the lords work and create numbers to send back to SaltLakeCity.
Every missionary carried a folding card with them.

think of a regular 8 x 11 piece of paper, in a thicker card stock and folded into 3 neet sections.

We carried these pre printed weekly planers with us that we'd write in the blanks.
Hours tracted, numbers of people contacted and numbers of church meetings, people met, people taught, etc.

We were told specifically that even the churchProphet at that time, carried one of those weekly planners with him, and from this weekly card report, we gave our stats to our "district leaders", who in turn gave these stats to the "zone leaders", who in turn reported to theAssistants to Mission President, who reported to theMission president, who reported to Salt lake, eventually.

The face time with people was fun though, and challenging too, But when the cold methodical business like ways of keeping track of everyone and everything we did crept into the equation, then being a missionary looking for other "Lost" people was no longer fun.

Sometimes I was a rebel and listened to radio music, as our mission issued cars had the fuses removed that powered the car radios, and at times, when being visited by the District or Zone leaders or even by theAP's,

our car would get searched and the fuse box would be checked too.
sometimes I would stay out later than the 9pm curfew,

I had a few companions that were relaxed like I was, and we'd be late getting home, because the only phone we had were the ones in our apts. No cell phones, but then again, cell phones weren't prolific Then as they are now.

I learned to love 7-11 and their slurpy drinks, or their fountain soda pops and then driving around the city with my companion listening to music.

LOL

but I did learn valuable life lessons though,
that if you were to really buckle down and totally brainwash yourself into obeying every fucking stupid rule that came along and ignored reason and sanity, you'd get by.

Because even I was a straight up hardworking missionary fanatic for a short time as well. The rest of the time I was mellow, did tract alot, did enjoy getting into the front door of people and talking basic religion and talking about Life and socializing.

All that rule bending and Obeying, all the Socializing and face time with non members did help me for later on in Life.

When I would come across an Inebriate, drunken, incapacitated villager!! (often an attractive female) and would dress her. help her get up and go get help,

I stuck to the rule of not fucking my VillageChicks!! and yet I did fraternize with some, but only on an Big brother little sister kind of way.

So, you see that my mission back then, did help me later on and still helps me now.
But it's just that some of my my school years living with lds foster placement families could have been better.

And maybe the Allen fanatics family in st anthony idaho could have not treated me like I didn't belong in life unless I acted White, talked White and thought White and mormon like they did.

For years nobody wanted to know what I thought about religion and no one ever asked.
But in earlier blogs, I have alluded to having been privy to being visited by deceased relatives and of being taken away back to God himself. Yes, these things happened and along that train of thought,

it's part of why I stayed with mormonism for so long. I have those experiences that stuck with me and told me to just stay put for awhile in every place I may find myself and learn, LEARN!! Then move on, because, as a christian,

I do know that theUniverse is HUGE, that our planet earth ISN'T the only planet with mankind on it. The God I know loves me and he loves all of us.

he doesn't require secret temples and secret handshakes and weird temple garb to get into his presence.

And looking back on things. Like the alcohol drinking elders, like the fornicating sisters, like the other wayward missionaries that I once had misfortune of meeting. That was life, and we were all under tremendous pressure,

I don't hold it against any mormons anymore who quit the church.
Cos it is a race, an competition to hold on and endure to the end.

You Have to absolutely suffer and lose everything and endure and be a fanatic and maybe then, God will love you and maybe then theGeriatric mission pezDent will give you a gold star and tell you that,

why yes indeed, elder you ARE getting lighter in skin color.
Soon you'll be white like me and you won't be an Native anymore.

I used to hold it against the lady missionaries that I once loved a lot as friends,
for not considering me as marriage material.

Because to be honest with you non Mormons, that mentality of going on a mission and of marrying an RM / returned missionary is brain washed into most lds girls.

And to have been married 20yrs ago was my lifes dream, so I could perpetuate theMyth that is mormonism and that I could, by now, become a grandpa and have sons on missions too etc etc.

But life never worked out that way, none of the dear sweet sisters that were friends of mine, whom were supposed to First check out the church men they knew and consider them first to marry-ever did their own callings and duty!!, as brainwashed into them, and so here I am 20+ yrs later,

still unmarried, and yet I have all these wonderful lifes experiences.
And one attribute that I have now, is Maturity.

It would have been great to first look at the female sister missionaries that I once served with on my mission and take one of them to wife, because they were fellow servants and because they, just like us elders at the time,

knew the Big Picture about LIFE and Eternity and yet not a one, sister that I knew, ever did do her church duties, or at least not with me.

Isn't mormonism crazy?!
And it's also bigoted. Because in part, my dear mishPezdent D. Hoskin is a bigot too and at one time, was active in keeping the Returned SisterMissionaries from considering me as a dateable person eventually to marry!!

Because if you non mormons reading this blog of mine, haven't figured it out yet,
That I'm a Native American, I am Red. And most of the people in my Life here and there have been and ARE White people.

For that is my chosen race to associate with, to follow, to lead, to join with, to fellowship etc in life. And yet, even in the lds mormon church I get treated like I'm black.

I get harassed, I get dressed down by white folk that don't like me having any interest in their church White women. I get parents and other church leaders of various girls I'm interested in throughout life writing to me to stop contacting their daughters. And here I thought mormonism was a loving church that accepted ANY people and didn't judge them or deny anyone blessings.

So I quit hoping for ever first marrying any sister RM's that I once knew.
And you really can't blame the church women anyway, because mormonism subjugates women and treats them worse than menial servants.

Women are, in a sense, just objects to lds men. And women are just for making babies and not much else.

In my Intense but brief years of being a Massage Therapist.
Even "I" gave more Love to any woman, just by the soothing touch of Massage "alone", more than any husbands gave their wives for their entire marriage!!

Of course I am talking about non Mormon women in general, although I did have a few lds women as massage clients. They were the most needy though. It's like they never had anyone just touching their shoulders or touching them just to be nice.

Their either sexed and impregnated and then promptly forgotten or else they're kept underfoot and bullied, harassed on a daily basis, the women are.

This is fucking depressing, I gotta move on or I'll get mad.
Overall my mission was fun, and a great learning experience.
It did help me, but at the expense of many good years of my youth and childhood.
And mostly the church paid for my mission,

Looking back, it was a great trade off.

-Art Major,
RicksCollege / BYU Idaho, Rexburg Idaho, 1yr, Did not graduate, decided to take artistic talents from Paper onto People!!

Think of the typical real life Nude models that students draw.
Well, in a church owned college, the models were clothed in dance leotards or lycra wear. I drew everything around me, I drew from magazines, from newspapers, from what I saw on tv and from Memory.

I drew and drew and drew!! For I was an art major damnit!! Anyway.

And not everyone that goes to a church college acts or lives a church way.
Some kids drank, some toked, some fornicated and yet, they'd put on theChurch mask and do and say the right things and some kids moved on inside the church.

I met some great kids who were assigned to the men's apt where I lived.
Great young women whom weren't afraid of life, of me, of the church and it's bigoted and anti Race mixing ways-well.

Maybe the girls were a skosh afraid, else I'd be married to one of THEM college girls already!!

-Licensed Cosmetologist,
Mar 1990-Mar 1991, Pocatello, Idaho, 6 months salon work then I saw PersianGulf War on CNN, Signed up for Military service.

When I was on my church mission, my Mother attended beauty school and started working. all my life I had always admired mother and in a round about way I emulated her.

though I now drink now and then at age 40, I don't drive and certainly don't wish to wrap my car, transit bus or even myself around an oak tree and almost kill myself.

Which is how mama got the message sent to her that she should stop drinking, and so she did.

So I channeled my artistic talents to Cosmetology and wanted to work in that industry.

Besides, there was this Older woman!!, an classmate of Mama's that would come round now and then,

Her name was Heather!!
And she was in every way conceivable-a very bad girl!!
She even was bad enough to Conceive!! a baby girl when I was gone away into the Military. But that didn't diminish my lust, love and respect I had for Heather.

I still love her.
And if there is one woman to ever love or at least theFirst!! one for you to love.
I'd give that distinction to Heather.

At my naive 21yrs, she was early 30's and had spent time in prison too.
My god, she was beautiful!! She was tall, huge and shapely and she'd flirt with me all the time I saw her.

omg... I'm embarrassing myself here.
Anyway. We wrote for a time when I went away to the Navy.

But during those brief months of beauty school and of me working.
Heather was always on my mind.....and sometimes In My Hand!! d:oP

-Navy Parachute Rigger,
Oct 1991 to Apr 1995, Bootcamp, PR school in Memphis,

Yep, I put my life on hold and decided to try theNavy.
Because a friend of mine went into theSEAL program and talked it up.
Maybe I had a shot at that too, but I first needed to see how military life was like.

So I went to the military entrance process station and when given an choice of jobs / rates to pick from. I like the PR rate. theParachute Rigger.

And so I was on delayed entry and later signed up for bootcamp 6 months later.
Sometimes, this memory comes back to me.

But the day I was to leave theMEPS for Navy bootcamp, us Navy guys were in proximity to some Marine guys, and some of them were really anxious.

I'm sure we all were having some kind of "remorse" at joining up and Up until taking the Oath of Enlistment, You Can Walk Away-Get Out and not join up.

But we took the Oath that day and would fly out later or the next day, and here some prospective Marine recruits were feeling blue, but there was one guy there,

different from the others. Because he was grinning at all of us Navy bound recruits.
he'd hold the doors open for us, and would follow us and watch sometimes with that stupid grin on his face.

I've never forgotten him, maybe I should draw him?!
Anyway, I'm proud to have served in the capacity that I did.

I did meet many SEAL's but most of them were total pricks. Acted superior and were arrogant, and honestly. If you act that way about things, then, in many respects, when you DIE, you get what you deserved!!

Sorry to be so blunt, but I've become a LEO out in theVillage. and in my own way, I've done things that No One else on the Planet would or Could do.
And I never acted superior to anyone else.

I too faced death and I too have been under fire from people who wanted to kill me and I'm alive. Not much impresses me anymore.

And it's from the experiences that I have personally had, that I realize that we are all one and the same.

That no matter what you do in life, in helping Others, it doesn't matter if you killed millions of people Rambo style while serving your country. It doesn't matter if you slung hashbrowns and scrubbed toilets either.

You were there in uniform acting in some capacity and you contributed. We all did contribute much to the overall safety and security of this country. And during the early 1990's So did I.

Your Very much Welcome!!

I was assigned to WhidbeyIsland WA state, VA-155 SilverFoxes A6 Intruders bomber squadron, did 1 WestPacCruise!! aboard USS Ranger/carrier.

and then to VAQ-132 RedScorpions, ElectronicWarfare/Jammer squadron, did 1 MedCruise!! aboard USS Saratoga/carrier.

I'll only say that aside from some arrogant SEAL recruiters and Instructors that I met at Bootcamp. "You have glasses, you'd be a liability on the teams" one man told me. The CompanyCommanders and other leaders I met were true honest men, but.

Looking back on it, I'd probably sniff the air around this arrogant man standing before me, noting the outgassing of hard alcohol from his system, note that he was hung over and tell him that he smoked and drank and that he too was a liability.

So trust me, from my NOW mature look on life, no matter how "elite" and special you may think you are, we're all the same inside. Though some few may get to see much danger & drama and be cloaked in the mystique of it all. We are all the same.

And even my VPSO trainers at theStateTrooper Academy did treat us recruits like shit, but at least they weren't drinking on duty. Because I can't stand it when men in important positions like, SEAL instructor or AST instructor are drunk and derelict on duty. That behavior doesn't fly with me.

Overall, this was a great experience. I never told anyone about my church life.
I kept mormonism quiet and just lived. If I had to do it all over again I'd re enlist into military service.

-Licensed Massage Practitioner,
OMG.

women are really beautiful but,
Women are so judgemental of self and so hard on their body image.
Even the really hot ones thought they were so ugly.

When I was a youth, I too bought into those young fantasies that women should be rail thin, with huge boobers and what not to be sexy.

But after just one month of massaging everyday NORMAL women in massage school.
Those conceived notions went right out the window!!

I stripped theClothes off of that Lie!!
I ripped the blanket off that fallacy!!
I stripped the sheet off that falsehood!!
pulled the.....

laid the Notion to waste.
A bare, nude, really NICE looking waist!!
Just exposed the...

OK OK.
I'll stop with the silly metaphors.
But massage school was great. Cos it helped me get to my Femme side and explore my feelings more deeply about women and mostly about myself. Because you really do things in life just For You.

Women were more and more real to me the more of them that I got onto my Massage table. Soon I could touch one person, mostly female, and sense strongly their emotions and how their day was,

soon I could tell how theKidz were doing!! Whether their 2nd great grandmother really did use that 1/2 spoon of syrup as turkey baste flavoring or else was she covering up an minor mistake she made in cooking!! I was that good.

Even today when I invite a cute, fave ServerGirl!! or one of my bosses into an arm of mine to hug and squeeze. I can tell how they're doing by that touch alone.

All my life comes together now for today, for this moment and I help other people.
But these massage student years were also painful as much as they were bliss.

I'll share later some things.

I made COLD, the tootsies and tata's of.......
oh.. sorry!!

-Child-care / Nanny,
OMG x 2.
which btw stands for oh my godd times 2!!

OPM.
stands for other people's money!!

and
OPC.
stands for other people's children!!, that needed stuff done for them.
That often ran around and broke parents Stuff and therefore, Money was needed to replace said broken stuff.

OMG!!, OMG!!

I'll never forget Hailey!!
one day her mother came by theHouse where I stayed with my family
and "could I just watch Hailey for 4 hours!?"

What the desparate female was asking me to do was torture myself.
Stick bamboo sticks up under my fingernails, and scratch my eyes out.
To walk on glass with my bare feet and to literally fly through the air with greatest of ease!!

Which basically IS what I did, among other things Heroic!!, in that 5 hr time frame.

Cos lil 2 yr old Hailey and the similar aged daughter of the family I live with just combined Evil forces and playing with them girls was a nail scratching time,
and being hit on the bare feet with the broom handle was much like torture.

and after literally tossing out the entire refrigerator, I had to clean up the mess and pick up glass!! and in order to keep the tv and stereo from falling over as the two Evil twin girls pushed it over. I ran and dove, FLEW through the air to keep such appliances from breaking.

eehh.
Aside from that, life with a church family was ok and was also a Best time of my life.

I'll never forge the kindness of my church friends.
They let me stay for a time and season, and only let me watch theKids full time in return.

either that or they were IN on the torture.
*shrugs*....either way, it was awesome!!

-Village Public Safety Officer,
aaauuhhhh.

apparently theFates!! thought that my child watching days werent over yet.
Because if I wasn't busy looking after Granma's 45yr old "child" in the Holding Cell.
I was busy caring for an 2 month old while Mother was passed out and the young kids in the home needed to be fed.

so I cooked for them, and at times, did give a trusted relative of theirs $ / my VPSO money and would help that family.

theFates!! blessed me 2.5yrs in Paradise, watching more of OPK / other people's kids and lemme tell you.

The more famous of those Alaskan children you may have heard about in passing.

remember that day when the Oil pipeline got shot and Oil sprayed out!!

Well. someone's grown up syncophant kid.. wait.
Not syncophant. but I should say Delinquent.

Someone's grown up delinquent kid shot thePipeline on the day that "I" was driving back to theVillage!!

driving back From having arrested and transported another person's grown up kid because he got drunk, got mad and started beating on another kid!!,
his young niece.

*sigh*
kids kids kids!!

Aside from being a VillageNanny!!, I also learned and did much Police work.

-Security Officer,
Much much time was spent in watching other peoples Money.

Albeit, this money was tied up in buildings, possessions, resources and what not.
And my Navy time did help me to keep awake, to be alert and to walk, drive and to do my duty.

Most people look down on Security Officers, But if you're serious about this profession, it's not a dead end job. It's very rewarding.

what isn't so fun is having other, more fully uniformed, vested and power granted agencies look down on us SecurityOfficers and treat us badly.

And don't listen to us. and Don't help us to help thePublic.
That's the kind of attitude, of apathy and pride, that, in my book.
Highly qualifys you to pull your service weapon, eat the barrel and pull the trigger.

It's that arrogant attitude that other agencies have that qualifies them to only be forgiven mistakes made in dealing with me, and disrespecting me, an former badged & uniformed VPSO, an fellow peace officer, by eating their service weapons.

Public Safety & Security of any degree are serious professions, and not to be taken lightly. If I had any say in the matter of Justice, I'd start today by drawing an tool of some kind from my person and literally dropping dead a few people that I know of that are guilty of cronyism, guilty of nepotism, guilty of helping out 'good old boys' and guilty of turning a blind eye to the sufferings of the public at large,

I'd drop people so fast, by hand, blade of firearm, it matters not.
Criminal Justice today is too soft on criminals and too hard on innocent victims.

And Police & Public Safety officers are to help the people. Not just put in 40 safe hours a week for about 20 to 30yrs and then retire rich.
Yet that is the prevalent attitude among current State and local leadership within LEO & Security ranks. That is not the way to be. and it is the way to die.

-ParaTransit Driver,
Loved it.

theHandicapped People are the sweetest ones in life.
They love you no matter what. And they are some great reasons to work for a ParaTransit company of some kind.

Heck...
even the old grouchy elderly are nice to drive around.
You may have seen (because I didnt) theMovie 'Driving MsDaisy!!'

but I lived it, several times in One month alone.
You could feel theCan reach for you, and yet Grandma sat at back of theBus!!
Or sometimes you could feel their hand tapping your shoulder, but yet no one was there with you,

meeh, Or at least they were fast asleep next to their groceries.

Paratransit was fun, maybe someday when I have a car and can get any job I want because I won't have to walk to work, then I'll go back to driving for ParaTransit.

-DishWasher
It was an entry point into theRestaurant business.
If you served your time a few months then you'd get promoted and you'd be Food Prepping, and then you'd soon be Cooking up front by theExecutiveChefs & SousChefs.

But I've been working 7 months and see no changes in my future in at least one Restaurant where I work. So I quit one job, and for now, keep the 2nd job.

Perhaps it pays to be alcoholic and a druggie!!,
maybe it pays to be in and out of Rehab and in and out of HalfWay group homes too,

Or maybe it pays to be an Server or Busser, or an BarTender too.
Cos everyone else goes home before midnight and everyone else has money and you don't.

Sometimes you see that you are discriminated against.
And white people in power don't understand discrimination because they've never had such treatment given to them!!

---------------------------------
Alaska Employment!!
With Commentary.
---------
Presently: Sep 5 2007 - Present. I love this job.
-theChippedCup!!

Questionable characters, shady people with even more shady pasts, always coming at you with hands outstretched, begging, controlling you, needing You, selling to you!!

Darn vendors and their food & alcohol supplys!!
Where do I sign up to join them!?

Half drunk revelers, keeping theParty going days after theEvent is over,
laughing at nothing and chatting to themselves,

crawling around trying to get to theBathroom, or trying to get to theDoor.
One woman ended up living in theBar 3 yrs because she just couldn't get out of the basement!!

These people crawl around and burn their hands and knees on cigarette butts and still HOT lighters, and it's a SmokeFree bar btw. They must be going on muscle memory and positional fixation and memory regression to the good old drinking days.

Who are these fine fine folk. Our patrons, our bar guests!?
oh hell no.

It's theBarOwners, Upper Mgmt and myChefBosses!! d:oP

As for the rest of the folk gathered round theBar!!,
they come for refreshment of an Variatel, monte blanc, or straight up!! kind.

they enjoy the Free things in life and owe nothing to nobody.
They're the best kind of drinkers to be around if you ask me.
Are they Our patrons!?

NO.
They're those pesky bums and what not barging in the place to ask to use the bathroom and expecting to be given free drinks.

As for our kindly guests, I've not seen any.
Cos I'm in back of house, cleaning, wiping, spraying, scolding and hugging theCute ServerGirls!! and theOccasional femaleChef that gets their crisp,
sexy black uniform smudged or if they get flour or other dust in the air and get dirty.

Then OUT comes the red SaniBuckets and theQuatts pills with a gallon of hot water & a cap of bleach!!

And I wash gently and sponge off my cute....

*ahem*

And I also wash dishes and I do food Prep.
And the rest of the time I pick up after theChefs, and after theUpperMgmt.
Sometimes I'm tasked to sprint 4 blocks and refill up a dying parking meter-with my own $ of course!!

And sometimes I'm tasked to move 40 banquet tables and 80 chairs by hand to an office 2 blocks away and then to MOVE said stuff Back into theChippedCup!! the next day.

I had to read minds of my sups and my bosses EVEN before I get to work.
When Russias President Putin's name is in the Online CNN news ticker, that means I get a friendly smile from theMurmanskMink!! herself, our resident BistroChef, BarMaid & BarTender from Russia... Whom with aa friendly smile and a blowj...........

And when news about Chavez or even citgo is bad.
I know NOT to show up for work because our spanish / samoan Busser is in back of the restaurant chain smoking again!!

And pacing the Alleyways again,
By 2nd week of his employment 3 yrs ago, theBig Semi truck driving Beer, Alcohol and Food distributors and vendors knew NOT to drive theAlley or else they'd become a captive audience for Guerro,

Did I mention that Geurro is Samoan too?! he's bigger than our 5'wide, 7' tall 4' deep stand up freezer!! jesus.. even I'm nice to guerro!!

and have to watch him tie his white long Apron to one of my brooms and run the Alleyway up and down back and forth singing Revolution songs of his Motherland.

And Krause.
*groan...*

he'd also be in theAlleyway egging guerro on by seig heiling him in German lockstep and slapping his own skin head!!

I might at well go to jail and get a criminal record now.
Because That's the kind of people I'm hanging with!!

It's people like this that finally convinced me to add a cup of lysol to my pepsi one day at work, and finally, theFloor cleaner, and then theSanitizer and then theSteelPolish!!

Soon, I was feeling no pain and would find myself at various bars after work with my coworkers, my bosses and even a few of theGirls from across theAlley!! from the OTHER bar and we were all drinking!!

Soon the seasons slipped past and the kids came and went.
And my paychecks kept coming to me, but I never got up front to see any of our guests. all I managed to see when I'd sneak up front were hideous, white, transparent people with long hair, bad teeth and really cool T-shirts on!!

obviously that was our BarBand, and here half this time of my working at theChippedCup!!, I thought my walkman headphones were being redundant playing the same practice tunes over and over again,

No matter how many tape, radio and CD portable players I'd buy,
the songs were always the same, and here it was always the bar band.
Whooda thought!?

And night after night when I passed out in theJanitorBroomCloset, a few other people would sneak in and we'd quietly slumber,

Once theFemaleWineDistributor ended up partying with us and she stole our last bottle of Windex and drank her vonPort with it. She steals into theBroomCloset sometimes and open up theTubs of dishWashMachine crystal soap granules and uses a scoop or two with her herbal coffee.

no wonder her teeth are so brite.
Everything's fine, even up above me now in upside down slumber,
hanging by her black wings and clawed toes is HR!! clutching an young ServerGirl!! that she recently bit and is now making a slave!!

and of course, thePayRoll girl!!, she can get blood from a turnip.
She can get water from a bone dry cellulose sponge,
She even makes our Strict Recycling curbside services people take UnCrushed pop cans and the dirty plastic too!!

But we love her most, not because she pays us every 2 weeks.
But she helps the house band and other guest artists get their Tip bucket filled up, 3 or 4 times over!!
She just lets her hair down and unbuttons once or twice her blouse front and slowly dances from table to table, Patron to patron with theTipJar!!

Of course, when she's Shooting Shots to customers Literally by Mouth, at end of the night she's then crawling around and giggling in the corner with either ME or with Executive or Mgmt.

Fridays and Saturdays are so much fun at theChippedCup!!
that I can't even remember what happened, lately, the bruises on my arms are sore.
But hey, no one glares at me or Winks at me at work so.
I know that I didn't do anything too out of the ordinary.
Which reminds me, Time to go check theCompany website and see if they shot me again
playing guitar with my toes and drums with my teeth.
-----------------------------

Aug 14 2007 - Feb 28 2008.
-Sullivan's Steakhouse, 320 W 5th Ave # 100, Anchorage, AK
Mgr Mike F, ExecutiveChef Taylor P, SousChef Eli K,

I was DMO/DishwashMachineOperator, as part of NightCrew, 7:30, 6:30 and recently-5:30pm to Closing.

I left this job because SS / they do not pay OverTime and after 7 months I've not been promoted out of the Dishpits,

while other DishWashers or other new Kitchen crew hired after me got promoted out of theDishpits or Never had to be DishWasher to begin with.

Also, some coWorkers are Dopers and this is tolerated by Management.

I have personally observed some LineChefs & DMO's cellPhone conversing regarding drug dealing and have observed such staff drug dealing,

and have detected odor of marijuana upon some staff after they had a smoke break downstairs under theMall (smoking inside mall is prohibited)

Overall, I tire of seeing Dopers, Rehab & HalfWay house dwellers and Criminals get promoted over me and get paid more than me,

everyone else goes home early and us DishMachineOperators / DMO's are literally last to leave-along with Closing Mgr-of-theDay, after Midnight, 0100 or 0200hrs,

An incident for you.
One time an new hire and I got swamped with extra DishWare from an offSite Catering event and left Sullivan'sSteakhouse the next morning at 0630hrs, and I didn't get paid for theOverTime.

During that OT evening, all Managers were happy and hugging each other and one said openly to us Server & Kitchen staff present that SS / they had cleared $30K that day!!

I know about my OT situation because after eventually asking about & complaining of not being paid OT, theHR officeGirlChristine M!! printed off some (then) recent daily shift reports for me to look at.

And an aside note, theBlackMaleAdult that worked with me for that one 13hr shift / $30K SS day.

He was a recent new hire and was very dependable & hardworking. His name escapes me though, as in my 7 months as DMO for SS,

I have personally seen about 17 to 20 people go through theDishPits / Kitchen / Server ranks. This industry is a highTurn over area.

Anyway, my BlackMale coWorker, Eventually he was singled out by an LineChef, John B (whom Management later on told me "that he Quit-Due to some personal problems he had to work out") a few nights earlier which eventually came to a dramatic conclusion

when my coWorker/DMO stood up to LineChefJohn in front of everyone in back Kitchen / BOH-Back of House,

after LCJ was berating us DMO's for not moving fast enough, not getting clean dishes out to theFrontGrill line fast enough, not getting used pans & dishes OFF theFrontGrill line fast enough etc,

and my DMO coWorker/theBlackMaleAdult, started yelling back at LCJ,

"whom are you yelling at?!, who are you talking to?!" and he quit washing dishes to follow LCJ and further confront him, then my DMO friend went downstairs to theDressingRooms and changed out clothes and Left.

Later on LineChefJohn B. told me, as he was acting happy & smiling, that Yes, he was really targeting theBMA earlier that night and was hoping that he would eventually quit.

That is the overall attitude of theManagers & LeadChefs that hire us DMO's, specifically.

They don't think that we are worth the $8.25/hr that we get and they laugh at suggestions from us on getting a pay raise,

Now, I DID get to help out as FoodPrep for about 3 weekends in Dec 2007 officially, Cos I was put on theDay shift schedule and I did go to SS on the weekends and did start to Prep at theSalad & Dessert station.

In fact, theDay when I left theSS at 0630hrs after working 13hrs, I was due to work as FoodPrep at 1100hrs, so I stayed awake that morning, and all day too and then finally went home that evening, I stayed awake because I wanted to and was happy to be doing something different for a change.

As for theServer / Busser / Hostess / Bar etc, staff.
I've no problems with them. But at times, have been involved in a brief spat or two with various people that just didn't want to empty their Bus tubs by cleaning Off and stacking the dirty plates & ware in an orderly manner,

and some ServerGirls!! whom were blatantly Not working at the moment, standing around would NOT get sodaPop for me / us DMO's after being repeatedly asked in advance,

It's a small matter really, but UpperMgmt doesn't want us DMO's to walk out on theFloor in view of theCustomers / Guests eating.

But oftTimes I ended up doing just that as I took my water bottle & bottles or metal cups for theOther DMO's-on UP to theFront bar and filled up with soda for us to drink as we slaved away in the hot dishPits.

Sometimes theServerGirls / WaitStaff ARE busy, but after awhile, You got to know whom you could ask and whom just didn't want to bother doing anything for you.

One time one of theBartenders, Jason!!, got upset about something in BOH / back of house and threw an IceCream scoop into theDishPit room-Where us DMO's were, where I was at the time.

An object flew by my head-inches away, and struck the wall forcefully and plunked into theDeepWell sink where I was scrubbing PieTins & 1/4SheetPans in.

Infuriated at this event, and after hearing someone yelling and carrying on just seconds before I almost got hit-I stepped out to see what was going on,

Some ServerGirls!! were stopped, staring open mouthed at someone-out of my line of sight- so I kept moving and it was Jason whom was red faced Upset about something.

"Who threw this!?" I shook theIce cream scoop, and everybody just standing there staring told me WHOM did, Jason.

"Knock it off, I'm happy right now and I want to stay that way!!" I stated loudly before I went back to scrubbing pans, and on my way back Jason called out something to me and I called him an asshole, and he kept on talking.

Later on he apologized for his tantrum, and no harm done. Besides, I've always liked him anyway. He's been working 6 yrs at SS and some nights he'd close with us DMO's.

No, I've had no hard problems with anyone there, just the facts that us DMO's aren't paid well for the hours we put in and of my not being promoted permanently at all while it's apparent that Mgmt favors misfits, druggies and other questionable types to prepare theFine, expensive food that the Guests eat.

I wont say anything about the food prep slight-of-hands and mistakes made by others that I observed in food being prepared, cooked & served, and I won't say anything about outright shortcuts and flagrant food service violations that I observed either.

Just use caution when eating out.

As a Guest anywhere, wash your hands before eating, pay in cash and be friendly to your Servers / Hostess or else they might not treat your food & drink very well and could Themselves!!

be guilty of subStandard, health & safety risk actions.

Food prep & Server actions like; Sneezing or coughing on food, using Old or out of date product, dropping your food and putting it back on thePlate & dressing it up again and serving it,

and not washing their hands or being under influence of Drugs etc,

I too, must say, that when offered an opportunity to partake of unused wine from theServerGirls & boys, I would take it. I guess you could call me under theInfluence as well. And for new years, I made the most of my time working and Not celebrating.

Yes I drank too much that night on left overs!! But we DMO's did our job as usual.

but even though I washed dishes, I did my job. No shortcuts, wash and rewash an item, soak and scrub again and try to sweep the floors from leaked out water from theDishMachine,

take out theGarbage for 3 different stations in theKitchen and do dirty dishes LinePickup for theLineChefs, unplug theStoppedUp dish machine!!, look for an DMO or two who skip out on work and go smoke or are in the employee bathroom smoking pot, Heal theSick!!, Raise theDead, Cause theBlind to see!! etc.

that was us DMO's, we can do anything.
---------------------

June 19 2007 - Aug 07 2007
MV Transport, 9525 King St, Anchorage, AK
Gary T, Dale E, and one mean Samoan Dispatcher woman!!
god she was a fat bitch.

After training in Class room and Actually Driving theDarn vans I was then assigned as a standby-Driver 3x week for theMV paratransit (Anchor Rides),

It was a great job, but it was just too far for me to walk, 3hrs!!
At first, I was scheduled to be 6 or 7 miles away from my MtnView Apt, at theKingSt job site by 0500hrs, so for me who doesn't have a car to drive,

I get up at 0130hrs and start walking fast to get there in 3 hrs.
But at the time there was no promise for me, or the other NewHire drivers of getting a steady driving route as all other Sr Drivers whom were hired from the Previous ParaTransit company had Seniority for pending driving Routes.

In addition to being gruffly spoken to my first morning at work by theFat Samoan dispatcher bitch who asked me a question, and before I could answer it, she started to swear at me and accused me of giving her attitude and of treating her badly,

this she did in front of 3 or 4 other Previous company / Drivers with Seniority and within earshot of 2 company Supervisors-I believe. And no one said anything to her or to my knowledge did anything about that outburst from her.

And she never stopped talking to me that way or in giving me her grouchy attitude either during that one month that I drove for MV Transport.

All that aside, I loved the work we did. Because we got to help shuttle the various Handicapped population of Anchorage around.

Were you disabled and permanently in a wheelchair and your caretakers sent you to an adult day center to be with your peers!? Chances are that I picked you up first by training with a Colleague or two of theBitchyDispatch!! and of driving around Anchorage while being watched like a hawk and judged critically,

often too critically and too harshly.
I understand that our handicapped & aged Cargo was precious but some of those drivers from thePrevious company that Trained us NewHires weren't so nice at all to any of us.

It's just that they felt threatened by us NewHires in a way because we might have taken their good driving routes away from them.

But I also had a few good experiences with a couple of Driver trainers too.

Ed, an Native man, had previously driven an route for theAnchorage school district for years with the earlier ParaTransit contract company and he was looking forward to once again, shuttling children around when school started,

ed was very patient and some of the Handicapped children & adults that we picked up while I was training were the sweetest human beings ever!!

And Ronnie, an filipino man, whom also came over from thePrevious paratransit company. Was patient with me and said nothing to me as I blew through not One but Two railRoad crossings!! oh god... big mistake!!

Cos those ParaTransit vans are supposed to stop at RailCrossings.
us drivers are supposed to know EXACTLY where our various Riders live as well!!

Well, at least on that account, I agreed with MVTransport, cos Personally, I make it my business to know many things about various people around me too!! and I'm not joking either.

theMVT offices had lots of preMade street atlas books that corresponded / went along with each Van they had, and we were given about 20mins to Precheck our Van and to look up ALL of the contact info on our Driving routes assigned to us on any given day.

It's a system really.
Pretty soon, You recognize client names, and where they lived and where you dropped them off, and where & when they were picked up again and taken home.

with systems like that in place, anyone or anything could be taught to drive Paratransit, or to cook, or clean, or cut hair.

That's basically LIFE as I know it. You get schooling and training and then when you go to work, basically there's a system in place Already for you to follow and if you do each step you'll arrive at the end with predictable results, and hopefully with happy clients, guests, as well as being happy with yourself.

But you have to also arrive into adulthood and be in possession of traits and attributes that No one can Give you when you work around people, and especially when working for Handicapped people.

You need genuine niceness, long patience and much compassion.
Cos not every handicapped person wants to go to school or go to the day center, and not every wheelchair rider wants to put on ANY safety belt or seat belt and will fight you LITERALLY!! to not wear one.

And you have to be mature and discreet to just overlook various things along the way when driving your Passengers around and Having to Stick to theDriving schedule.

Because a complaint that many of us lowly drivers had with theCompany was, that we often needed to deviate from our set driving schedule for various reasons,

such as, We'd pass one destination for One passenger while driving to pick up or drop Off Another passenger, or often, one passenger just needed to toilet and when they were made to wait, You could smell urine after awhile, I had this problem a couple times with the elderly riders,

And really, to me it was not problem, but it was for our passengers and so, us Drivers would complain and as of the time I quit driving for MVT, nothing had changed for being able to shift around passenger Pickups / dropOffs.

It was during this time of driving that I heard of an PeopleMover bus driver getting into trouble for sexually assaulting an passenger of his, that news disgusted me.

Because, MVTransport and PeopleMover were similar service providers, we both worked for the Municipality of Anchorage and often when I stood around in downtown Anchorage in an MVT uniform,

People would ask me about BusTransit routes and stuff. Cos everyone thought I was a bus driver!!

So, inherently, it's that trust that people place in you as a service provider, in any public profession you're in and to hear that another "brother" had sullied the uniform similar to what you wore was sad to hear.

I wanted to help theHandicapped and elderly.
But did it to the further detriment of self and health & well being.

No one needs to wake up at midnight and walk 7 miles, often through bad neighborhoods and having an occasional bad driver come up on the side walk after you, or to have eggs and rocks thrown at you,

no one needs to sacrifice sleep and creature comforts when in return, they get very little work hours and really don't get a solid steady driving route as initially promised by the company!!

Bottom line, I loved the time with ParaTransit. Bad experiences aside with MVT staff and fellow bus drivers, it was a great time in my life. Loved It!!
---------------------

Nov 17 2006 - June 15 2007
Securitas USA, 2909 Arctic Blvd, Anchorage, AK,
Ashley A. Office Mgr / HR / sup!!

Security Officer-Assigned to Ted Stevens Intl Airport,
Duties:Ramp Security 4 days week. 1530hrs to 0200hrs.

Too far to walk, 3hrs, and theAirportPolice really didn't like us SecurityOfficers nor did they treat us well, were apathetic and non responsive.

As I said, I was told by reliable sources that at one time, AP and what security company was out there had a great working relationship,

but some stupid SecurityOfficers fucked it up for everyone else eventually.
And later on, when I get hired on with Securitas. I go out there to theAirport and see that thePolice & theSecuritas people aren't talking.

and at the time I worked there at UncleTeds place, the responses from Police were getting fewer and fewer and soon no one talked to us at all.

Friendly female airport police officers tried to help out, but eventually stopped.
And even a couple of older men police tried to say hi, but they stopped trying as well.

We all tried, and I've finally realized that it's not my fault. and Never was to begin with.

I just came along and in my own way tried to help out as best I knew how and tried to be friendly with police, and tried not to let that maleDispatch asshole guy get to me when he'd argue with me about my calling in to the Police for assistance.

Honestly though, travel through TSIA and deal with your own safety at your own risk.
Because bottom line, thePolice don't care about YOU the traveling public.

They just want to sit on their asses in their offices and ride around elsewhere on property and collect that days pay and go home safe.

thats not working, and when those times that I saw violence flare up amongst traveling passengers or visitors to the Airport, and even when some vehicle drivers got mad at me for trying to wave them by because I was saving the Handicapped parking space for people that needed it-and I got knocked out of the way with an vehicle many times.

No police came at all.
I don't trust theAirport Police anymore, and if I were you. I wouldn't trust them either.

Because they've never had to deal with DVE / domestic violence events on a daily basis like I had to when I was VPSO. it's an airport, and they do nothing out there. I know because I saw them for 9 months.

And in that time I discovered more than I've ever told.

Police in this town are corrupt, eh. some.
And that includes AST as well, and most certainly the Airport.

At least the current SecurityOfficers out there got a decent pay raise.
But theAirportPolice still treats them like shit, no one answers when dispatch is called. No one responds when traffic is bad or when cars are unattended.

I know. because I've talked to people that work there and have seen this.
--------------------

Jun 7 2006 - Sep 27,2006
-Guardian Security Systems, Inc., 2600 Seward Hwy, Anchorage, AK
Rob G, Senior Watch Commander.

I was assigned as Patrol Officer and after being trained on my driving route I was set loose all by myself!!

I was FFFIIIIVVVEEEEEEE AAllphaaa!!
And one of my trainers was a short, powerful built man from DominicanRepublic.
he was a good trainer, as were the Other Sr officers that had a word or say in my training and when they too rode with me.

My DR trainer was armed and openly disdained theAPD.
cos sometimes, we Officers had to deal with APD.

And because I had come from theVillage!! and knew about how police work is, I didn't let my trainer sway my opinions.

there's a lot I didn't say anyway to my Trainer or to the company.
But, while they were openly & uniformly armed, I too was concealed armed as I most always am.

It was once my sacred duty in theNavy to be an adult and step up, and never ever look back, and so I once again stepped into public service Out in theVillage!! and even while being SecurityOfficer here in theCity.

Though there be thousands of us, even if there be one. Let that one be me to defend!!

My Patrol Duties were from 1600-2400hrs. Driving a shift route around Anchorage.

Great job, loved it and did OT when asked, by patrolling around to various Liquor stores that sold alcohol on weekends. That's why I concealed a weapon or two on me. Cos no stores of mine that I was watching would ever get robbed or theClerks beaten or killed.

this is where I had an opportunity to Hate Anchorage PD as well.
When, at one store over on Muldoon Road, was visited by an Inebriate Alaskan Native male,

the female clerks asked me to send him away, and eventually I did.
But as I called 911 for assistance and to send Officers over, as theInebriate was right before me stomping around and screaming at me,

it was an hour before any officers showed up.
And by then I had wound down and relaxed enough to get a soda and a pastry when APD walks in.

I remember the female Officer, an 50's, white female, blonde with piercing fierce blue eyes and her male officer buddy were apathetic to the situation.

You don't walk into an place where a call of a disturbance came from and NOT take notes. and Not ask everyone present what happened.

Those officers were In the store and Out in less than 20 seconds, after seeing that no trouble was to be seen or found.

I tried explaining what had happened but it's hard to talk to uniformed backs now isn't it!?

But I don't think less of APD. I know they're busy, and I haven't gone entirely through the process of hiring on with them either.

If I do decide to join up and get stonewalled and shut out, like I am from theAST & VPSO programs, then I'll know for sure that something IS wrong and I'll keep you all informed.

Even people that protect us need to be watched and monitored.
Even people that protect us need to be held to high standards of conduct and fairness to all and I never saw that conduct that night when no one Police officer would stay to listen to me or the store clerks regarding the hostile Native male.

maybe next time I see and deal with APD I'll form an opinion.

While working for Guardian I got fired after standing security at local hotel and for basically challenging hotel GM's authority.

Like any good officer does, he follows directions.
And often, as part of patrolling theHotel's corridors and checking on all the doors.
To include the patrolling of the outer perimeter and walking AALLL the way around the property grounds and check on cars as well.

Go back in and stand in lobby or be close by within sight and sound of front desk personnel.

And so, after midnight, when no one was up, except for the late traveler or visitor.
I used theInet Kiosks that sat not 20' from the front desks of theCoastIntl Inn!!

And that must have concerned someone, because the next night, after I was doing hourly patrols and doing my job, being awake, alert and visible.

I did get online for what was an estimated 15 mins and I was told by front desk personnel to not go online anymore, please.

So I complied, no harm done.
But I thought about it.

And decided that no hotel should ultimately control theSecurityOfficer at all.
it comes down to theOfficer themselves what they do or NOT when working for you theClient.

You don't decide for Us. Sorry, but it has to be that way. As the way that APD or AST or even us VPSO's & VPO's out in theVillage!! might have to choose.

No one tells us what to do, though we may be told or reminded that we must Interview, question, keep notes, etc but don't tell us how to do our jobs!!

And I wrote such thoughts in my shift report and left a copy for CoastIntlInn mgmt and gave the hard copy to Guardian.

And I got fired for that.
I didn't get fired for neglecting my post, quite frankly, I had already patrolled for the hour and honestly, had made 45mins of each hour an walking, moving patrol time and then sat down or rest roomed or vending machine breaked.

I got fired for offending an vendor of Guardian security. I got fired for speaking my mind. At least they also, got rid of one of their supervisors that was riding along with us Officers to monitor us and give feed back to the company about us.

this upper management got more and more relaxed and verbal one evening while riding with me, and then suddenlty turned to me in a light hearted moment while we were laughing and said.

"auuggh, Honey. I'm Gay!!"

*crickets chirping....*
and I sit speechless.

Which wasn't the reaction he was hoping for after fishing around all evening about my life, my past, any women I see!?, any kids, and other friendly conversation.

faggot.

At least that's how I felt about him, but since then have completely dropped religion from my life and I try not to judge gays, lesbians and other minorities like me, and other people who are just different.

Just because I stop being judgemental doesn't make me accept and love and embrace any particular lifestyle I abhorred at other times of my life. Because I'm still the same as before I dropped religion.

Still happy, still respectful, still resolute about alot of morality issues and probably won't do anything wild in life beyond drinking now and then.

It's just that if that situation happened yesterday or now, I'd not be silent like I was that day when a friend tried to reach out. I'm not gay myself, but I should have at least attempted to have a heart and be kind,

because it was very brave of this man to announce his gayness.
And I still love AlaskanVillageChixxx!! or quite frankly, any cuteChixxx!! for that matter.

Bottom line, when you have any LEO's or security company's employed for you.
Direct them, guide them and then let them decide minute by minute details.

And also, be careful of whom works for you.
Not every officer I met working for Guardian was a good person outside of the uniform.
------------------

May 3 2006 -Jun 6 2006
-NANA Management Services-5600 B Street, Anchorage, AK,
Dave D., NANA/Purcell Security Services, Dan, Chuck A, Abel,

Assigned as Security Officer.
Day to day Duties: Assigned to 1 of 3 Anchorage Parking Authority downtown
garages.

Great job, met lots of the anchorage homeless and troubled teens. I saw how Community Service Patrol & APD responded to help intoxicated / impaired individuals.

meehhh. Other than seeing a few Inebriates get hauled off Literally and thrown in theCSP van or an APD squad car-Good experiences, great supervisors.

I'd recommend anyone to work for NANA / Purcell.
enuf said.

---------------------
May 3 2005 -Sep 13, 2005
-Princess Tours, 2815 2nd Ave. Seattle, WA

Night Security. Supervisor: Bonnie W, Rooms Division Manager,

Night Security Officer, Duties: Night Security to Copper
River Princess Wilderness Lodge, Copper Center, AK

Great experience. Met wonderful coworkers from all over world. Best guests and best tour company to work for here in AK.

And by the way.
thePrincess!! is actually holding one of my glocks to my head making me type this.
She says that she's the most beautiful of Princess's in the whole wide world and that her Lodges and cooze Ships are the best and her ass smells like a rose.

Well. not really.
"I" said that to appease her.

Aside from seeing theKids binge drinking for the first 2 months on property when they had evenings and nights Off shift, it was a great time for all.

I can't begin to say how some kidz are unobservant when an SecurityOfficer is not far from them dressed in Khaki pants and a crisp, white starched uniform shirt with gold badge!! Such colors and contrasts should stand out from theGreen forest foliage but apparently NOT.

We had some great kids, whom stayed inside the dorms while other kids partied.
And it was sad to see one Office girl, go from sweet girl next door to fornicating machine, binge drinking, chain smoking tramp in about 3 weeks just before end of season.

But she did change and I hope not for the worse, although, an friend emailed me recently and said there was good things going on with a few "Princess's" that we once knew. And this little Tart I speak of was one of them.

I'm happy.

Understand that when you travel to far off places like Alaska and agree to work for 5 to 6 months or more!! at a time in a remote place like a tourist Lodge.

You pretty much have to come here already having dealt with your inner demons and having already accumulated life experiences to help keep you occupied.

Cos Alaska is no place for a young kid to work in when they've scarcely been away from home and especially if they're cute, vulnerable and impressionable!!

When HurricaneKatrina hit, we saw it happen on TV at theLodge and it was sad that one of theBoys!! didn't get to go home to N.O. for about 2 years.

Cos this young man was doing Cocaine when he first started at theLodge and he got violent with his friends and attacked them with a hammer.

That was a bad experience for many kids, even though some of them never stuck their heads out of their dorm rooms to see, Everyone heard the commotion though and saw the residual blood on the walls of the hallway

marking the path of the fleeing victims and when someone ran up to me just after the assault happened.

I knew what to do. Because I had been to theVillage!! years before and had face armed & unarmed angry men & women who had committed equally and worse, bloody offenses.

I made the Young man from newOrleans sit down on a chair outside on thePorch and we didn't move for hours till AST showed up.

By then his victims were already transported to local clinic and one sent to Anchorage. he sat there and I wouldn't let him say anything, don't speak.

Not everyone that comes up here to Alaska looking to earn lots of cash and gain friends, opportunities and further employment succeeds. And sadly, due to being imprisoned or jailed for a long time, not many make it home on time to Lower 48 as well.

Ok Princess!!, put your thong back on, corral those Hooters and lets get ready to go eat breakfast somewhere, cos theSam!! is hungry!!

Yep, thePrincess!!, or at least theOne that hired me initially, went to same church as I did.

She was a smart woman, well studied, well read, well mannered and very beautiful.
I think I was hired because of the church connections but I hope that my background and experience in Security and PublicSafety had something to do with it as well.

But like all Princess!!'s, they want something more. and with some women, you don't know if they're expecting attention from you or just plain old conversation and companionship for a time & season,

because, basically ALL white people want and need many things in their life.
And to be with others of their kinds is one thing, and to be surrounded by most, if not all of the finer things in life is Another,

White people are funny, they're needy, they're flighty, things have to be their way or it won't work!! For that's how children are.

And this Princess!! whom picked me for NightSecurity really was.
And I didn't have to be her boyfriend or quite frankly, any kind of friend of hers to know this.

For I knew it when I first met her what she was like and how to make her comfortable with me, and I did, and I got hired.

Remember, I once worked amongst White women as a hairstylist and massage therapist.
I found out what works and what doesn't and I not only survived but Thrived in my work.

Goodness, I started to sell $200 to $600 service packages to women.
Cos an an Cosmetologist, I did everything!! and getting my massage license helped me do more.

I went IN amongst THEM, theWhites, and not only counted Coupe (touching the"enemy" and getting away untouched / unscathed myself, which was insulting to the enemy-regarding the counting of Coupe amongst theOld Lakota ways & olden days)

but I stayed amongst them for many years.

Working for thePrincess!! is no different really.
You have to be looking after your guests and giving them things beyond their expectations.

Someday I'll go back to thePrincess!!, but for now. I do enjoy the time OUT of captivity. She is a slave driver that one.

LOL
-------------------

MEDICAL Update:
Summer/Fall 2007: Recent updates of TB, MMR, Hep B, Flu shots.

yes I can see clearly now cos I found my glasses in my messy Apt room!!
And I will get new contacLenses ASAP, when I get a hold of $500 in disposable income ok!?

sheeesh.

Interests, Hobbies, Training
-Currently studying Violin and tuning up on Piano & Acoustic
Guitar.
d:oO !! *gasp!!*

Aside from being so jealous of theCute sales girl's tattoos and makeup-that sold me theViolin!! (I joke)

Dealing with Huffman's Music in South Anchorage was a great experience.
I even went back for a few times with mr Vince, the owner!? I believe he is.
And he endured listening to my beginning fingers & beginning Bow arm scratch, screetch and basically crack his eye glasses off his head.

They sell guitars, drums, Violins!! and instruction books as well.
And they offer Piano instruction too.

I still haven't figured out if I should "Moniker" my Violin after msManda!! the sales girl or after theShop dog!!

So far, in visiting the shop from time to time, they haven't up and Moved on me, yet!!
-------

-Currently studying SCAR/HCS materials.
special combat aggressive reactionary/hostile control systems,
an hand to hand/hand to weapon fighting system.
d:o)

I have nothing but praise for scars. It's a system that steps Out of bounds, away from standard hand to hand instruction and approaches combat scientifically.

You hit a man here, you'll get a reaction, and you can move here and strike there and so on. it's an adult subject to talk about dealing with out of control people who want to hurt you, to talk about crippling them or killing them if necessary,

and the folks at scars are professionals at this.
Other people who want to take years and years and to take thousands of your dollars to even begin to train you all disrespect scars and it's founders / creators.

But results speak for themselves individually and in the end, results matter.
As a child I heard my older, blooded WarVeteran ancestors talk of killing people and they'd hit on certain "nerves" as well.

That you get certain reactions from people when striking them and stabbing, shooting etc. and theScars people talk the same way.

I do not boast when I say that even though I am concerned for my own safety when walking around anchorage late at night and while going through bad neighborhoods etc,

I am without fear.
Because I've trained on my own and with others in this system and it works.
I do feel fear yes, but am not paralyzed by it, and certainly knowing that I could get robbed, jumped or killed certainly does cause me to feel fear, to be afraid.

But, by now in my 40yrs of living, I've had some experiences that already made me face my mortality and that made me face my own strengths and limitations, and I survived.

in fact, when I was VPSO out in theVillage!!, I took pride in standing up to physical threats that were in the guise and shape of Inebriate villagers wielding firearms and already having beaten family or friends they'd come at me, and I had NO weapons on me.

Scars helped me then, it helps me now.
And I bet that not many fully uniformed LEO's in Anchorage or in theState, will even once, leave their weapons at home and do their jobs.

As far as I know, most or all of them don't know about Scars.
-------

-Currently studying TFT materials.
target focus training, another hand to weapon fighting system.
d:oD

And I bet that they don't know about TFT either.

mr Larkin of TFT is very friendly and his site puts out vids you can view online of what he does,

you get to see what theInstruction is and you get to hear theInstructors too.
And I deem them proficient, hospitable and down right nice people off camera.

Sorry that this TFT is opposite of theScars website, where they don't show you video footage to the extent that TFT does.

oh well.
I say, learn Scars first and then move onward and upward to TFT!!
I have nothing but praise for theTFT people. Great website, outstanding product, down to earth people.

------

-Currently studying Personal Fitness Trainer materials from ISSA via correspondence & online.
d:o/

It's a 2yr time frame!!
I have until this summer to finish up the book and go online to test.
Besides, I'm doing all other stuff and my clubAK contract ended too.

And they didn't hire me when I signed up either. Those were nice clubs too.
In fact, I miss my whiteReeboks wearing PFT / personalFitnessTrainer!!

her of impeccably / impossibly White teeth and granite biceps!!
And she's only 5'1. a Petite female who has no problems physically controlling me!!
Restraining, dominating. humiliat.

uhh.
Got carried away there.
anyway.

Studying my massage books, my anatomy books and my medical books along with thePFT materials takes me away from current projects,

and besides, I'm drinking too much pop lately and need to slow down.
--------

TRAININGS

-14 Aug 2006
Food Safety Manager Certification. Northern Most!! Hospitality
Training, @theNew Millenium Hotel, Anchorage, AK. Instructor:Keith
d:o(

Mr Keets set theTone for my induction into food Prep and management.
At first I thought he had escaped from an LEO or perhaps from an work release program of sorts,

what with his long hair, his biker / prison tats and his nervous tick when he was away from Cigarette smoking for 5mins or less.

as any good, former or even current!! criminal knows when an LEO is around,
so too did mr kets when He met me, and he knew I was discreetly carrying too!!

But theHotel setting was nice and civil and so too. we had to be.
Besides, us two. Worlds apart. I the former Lawman, he theCurrent criminal!! turned food service worker / instructor would scare theKorean lady, the two Mexicans and theNigerian woman that WAS

theCurrent food manager class attendees that day in theEast side hotel.

And it was the best training too. We saw vids and film footage. We saw pictures of food and people and our training ran the gamut of prepping food and watching out for sanitation & hygiene (somthing mr Kettles had missed apparently)

and we covered the basics of theRestaurant from FOH to BOH / frontOfHouse to backOfHouse.

And for $200 you'd think we'd get to keep that 2" thick book and the work book too.
But mr Keeth had to take those books back when our class was finished that day.

Apprarently this is WHY his Kind was hired to begin with, as mr Kit was apparently convicted of assault, robbery, and various other kind dealings to humans involving weapons and such,

so he easily wrested our food service books from our grasping hands and he even kept our test sheets and gruffly told us that we'd get our safety diplomas mailed to us in 4 weeks. 8 weeks for me!! >:o(

You'll all be happy to know that theNigerian woman and theKorean (speaking Only!!) female are now moved up in theFood service world hosting their own food safety classes and charging Double what they had paid for theirs.

But you really have to read up on the materials they give you before taking AWAY, cos they still don't speak One word of English when lecturing to you and talking about checking produce and meats when theDeliveryGuy!! brings them to your Restaurant or Bar where you work.

One mexican got his card and immediately went into auto sales, the other Spanish guy slings burgers at a pizza joint downtown, and that one former VPSO guy!?

*ppffff!!*
he took to drinking and blogging!!
I don't think he works at all come to think of it.

oh..
As for me.
I slugged it out in a few more jobs before finally giving in and giving up ALL hope for happiness, a good job, lots of $ and respect.

erhh..
I became a DishWasher!!
d:oP
-----------

-20 June 2006
Techniques of Alcohol Management / TAM, Eddie’s Sports Bar, 6500
Old Seward Highway,Anchorage, AK

Instructor: Ms Charr!!,
www.alaskacharr.com, CURRENT TAM's CARD baby!! yeah!!

aside from a slight misunderstanding with one young, hot blonde "Kara", cora or something...

Maybe it was about her mascara!!
I mean, she did have loads of it on that day.

But it was a bar that we all met in to have tams card training.
theLights were low, the smoke hung heavy in the air!! (this being WWAAYYY before that stupid smoking ban in Public bars!! that anchorage became known for-for having a brainfart and ousting all smokers to the outdoors to light up!!)

So, I arrived at theBar ahead of time, in fact I peddled up there feeling all tipsy!!
Because this is also back when I HAD my damn bike, before it got stolen OFF the back porch here in MtnView!!

It was chained up too!!

anyway, I had an misunderstanding with an cute Ms named Kara and soon we were slapping at each other wildly, but couldn't see each other, as we both had our faces turned away at the same time.

Anyway, her friends separated us and I could see their mouths move but heard nothing but the barBand!!

which by theWay, you should go check out.
cos they have this hot songstress!! name BrookFaulk and theBlue Dog band.

She's now an MySpace friend of mine, and I hope will still remain!!
she even signed my MS page. Wow.

I haven't even washed my MS site since then either!! d:oP
I don't want to have theExtremely good looks and talent that rubbed off ms Brook's touching my site, to rub off!!

erh.. that sounded badly didn't it?!,
anyway.

After all, She IS "that kind of Woman!!"
erh... The SONG silly.
that's the name of it and I'm falling under her spell and want to break myself against the gates of hell. and.

*whoa..*

I guess I should tell everyone, that I just finished drinking that 2nd can of "BAWLS" guarana soda last night at 11pm.

it's 0700 next day!! and I imagine that I'll be up at 7 this time tomorrow too!!

anyway.
Long story short,
I couldn't hear what msKara and her friends were crying about, but after they pointed some of their Huge muscular boy friends at me,

I ran downstairs and hid myself amongst the crowd of people gathered there.
And it seems that everyone was there for some type of Instruction.

So I ended up staying there and getting aTAM's card!!
and I didn't even drink!!

.....but I do now.

Oh well.
great card to have though, cos it helps get you in the door of any restaurant and bar you wanna work in.

Literally!!

it's a small credit card sized "card" and they laminate it for you and it's stiff enough that if you move it against the Lock!!

voila!! you're in!!
or at least. You Broke IN!!
but I digress.

Anyway, go to Eddys sportsbar for some great food, great music by ms Brook and theBlueDog band.

Just don't tell her dogs that I used to shoot SledDogs back in theVillage!! and please.

If you see an petite white brunette female applying Mascara on her pretty eyes.

Keep away!!
Unless an TAMS class is convening downstairs, then you can use that big crowd to get away from the boyfriends she'll send after you, after you offend her!!

trust me.
--------------

-Jan-Feb 2002
DPS-Dept of Public Safety Academy, 877 Sawmill Creek Hwy,
Sitka, AK 99835 5 Duties of VPSO: EMT, Fire, Police, SAR and
Probations & Parole Officer.

d:oD

Say. Have I told anyone, anyone!! that I once was an Village Public Safety Officer!!
no?!

Oh, I thought I did tell everyone!!

Well. sit down and I'll tell you..........
------------------

Other Certifications!! etc.

-ASHI Professional Level 1st Aid Infant/Child/Adult CPR & AED
device Instructor Training in Homer, AK Jul 2003

Basically, apologies to theBadarrka Inn and to the Pizza joint just down the road!!
And much apologies to theSpit and even to Homer himself!!

Love your tv show sir, you should listen to your little baby girl.
And put a leash on barts mouth.

And.. We've managed to settle with theFamily of Dolls that sued me for Kissing them.
I've had great Lawyers before but I must say, that my firmRep back then of Man,Ni,Ken, Trane & Dummy were the best in keeping me out of jail for saving that Child and Adult cpr dummy.

In fact, that whole damn family owes me for saving their lives that week!!
I mean, all of us VPSO's at that time saved their lives.
sheeesh.

Ungreatful people those cpr dummy's are.

I will remain quiet about thePizza joint though, I mean. After all. HomerSpit sits on an Isthmus does it not!?

it's surrounded by sea water is it Not!?
and when an humble public safety servant, In Uniform no doubt!!
comes into your shop and politely orders an small personal pan, extra thick crust, with cheese toppings, pepporoni & sausage and substitutes Crab meat for theAnchovies.

Is That NOT a reasonable request!? just go out to theOcean and pick up some damn crabs and put it on the pizza!!

good god man, the way your Taxi drivers and everyone you meet boast about the great fishing and crabbing catches, you think it'd be that easy!!

oh well.
AT least we know the response time for HPD, theAST stationed at HPD headQuarters and we know that the next VPSO training & refresher cycles will be held elsewhere next year.

erh... Minus theSam!! in attendance.

-ETT Certifications
(Professional Level 1st Aid,Infant/Child/Adult CPR, AED device)
in Minto 2001, Glennallen 2004 and Chistochina, 2006 CURRENT card!!

yeah baby, yeah!!

msVillageChick!!kristine still hasn't forgiven me for wrapping her up in theSpiderStraps and leaving her on that yellow spine board!! When It came time for me to test and qualify for my ETT card.

We all were given oral scenarios from theInstructor and after a week of training and lecture, had to be InCharge of theGroup and administer to a "Patient".

Poor VillageChick!!, she couldn't tell me the SafeWord cos Elias and Tom had bound up her head in gauze wrap and we think theNeckBrace applied to her was too small.

though none of this prevented her right hand from making a fist and sticking her Middle finger at us!!

No worries though,
As when it came time for ME to be patient.

theGirls!! set my patrol vehicle afire after they had wrecked it and then, nobody came to help me get out!!

Which should explain the time that I was BALD for about a year when I was VPSO.
all my hair burnt off my head.

Even now, I gingerly wash my eyebrows and lashes each day too!!
Don't want them to fall off-again.

theBurn blankets really work!!
And theGirls!!, they even broke my legs too!!

I joke of course
---------------

Luvs,
theSam!!
slflyinghorse
anchorage, alaska