YVC Inc (doh!!) Exposed!!
......once again on MythBusterz!!
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theChippedCup!!
theServerGirls!! indeed get prettier at closing time, but also, all the unguarded CheeseCake starts to disappear too!!
theChippedCup!!
not only Listing,
-their 2000+ Food dishes,
-their 4000+ Drink specialties,
-their 8,984+ (this 2008 year alone!! Sheeesh...) StateofAK food division complaints!!,
-the Offspring of their cute ServerGirls!! by lb, oz, and whom "It" looks most like!!,
-their companion, Paid!! Websites that belong to certain ServerGirls!!
Alphabetically!!
-But also listing their DMO's / Dummos!! mug shots, Rap sheets, Tats, MySpace pages and number of guns owned....ALL ALPHABETICAL too!!
we like to think that we're not only Hip!!
But Thigh, Breast, Waist, smooth Buttock, etc.
erhh. To include theSam!!'s expanding waistline as well.
But don't look too hard for him in our Posted bulletin boards, he's not there!!
theBarTender!!
never One to complain and criticize any coWorker, Mgr, or Guest.
But each St Paddy's Day,
he just manages to "Lose" theTV remote whenever taking employee lunch break.
We'd never have known it was "Him" that lost theRemote, but one evening when an "Melee" or "disturbance" of sorts happened just down theStreet,
and a police Cruiser then pulled up and Detained several People. Of which, our BarTender was One!!
Every time theCops patted down theBackPocket of theBarTender!! theHDTV in theMainBar would change channels!!
it took us 6weeks to get that remote back from thePolice, and 6 months before our BarTender returned to us, still as stubborn and inebriate as ever!!
theBarTender'sBestFriend!!
Everyone in theBar!! has had their hands on theBTBF!!
Everyday in fact. Always Opening, always handling said Friend,
Using said Friend and even involving...
But before we go any further, We're talking about the fantastic bar tend book by that name sillies!!
d:oP
oh.. and theBarTender's best friend Is, thePatron at theBar with theDT's!! / deleriumTremens!!
Always useful to have an onsite "shaker" when those dumb, lazy Dummo's in back Kitchen are slow to Wash and Return all Bar ware to front of House!!
theSignBoard!!
who's One sided dimensions are a sturdy 3'x 4' Weather resistant Chalk Writing Surface!!, Black in color and with a box of Pastels & Chalk fastened to theInside for storage, and often kept Inside behind theBar!! for safe keeping, We'll get to theSam!!'s shenanigans with our Chalk later on,
As for our signs.
oft times, theSignBoard is theMost coherent Message Delivery System posted Outside and Often INSIDE theBar!!
You'd think that all those Sotted, convivial drinkers and hangersOn, theHugeBreastedHangersOut!! ( . )Y( . ) and what Not
that are drinking and carrying on inside thePlace would be adequately delivering their own individual messages to their friends, their Emps, their Ex's via CellPhone!! etc but NOO..
You and I should know already that drinkers are a talkative sort but rarely listen!!
But they DO READ!! they have to read cos, as many of you know, you can't HEAR in a Bar!! It's too LOUD with all that rock music blaring.
hence, theSandwichBoardSign!! that, One posted INside and one posted OUTside, stands with theDay's!! message for all to heed!!
Case in point!!
Blender Unto Caesars' that which is Dressing!!
but if you keep teasing our EuropeanBarMaids!! with Ice cream in a cup,
they're gonna go CuisineArt!! on you, rip off your head and shat down your Neck!!
Even when a local church needed our large upstairs facilities for a month while their church building remodeled, we'd put this on theBoard each Sunday!!
Render Unto Seizures that which Shaketh!!
All demonically possessed peeps needed to help Shake theMartini's & Margaritas before church services.....
Please!!
and from that event, "Linda B" has been our best Margarita shaker & Soup Maker!!
And for our Sports Events and Boys Night out special events, We'd taunt thePublic!1 with these words.
To Thine Own Liver Be True!!
You can always get another Wife / Girlfriend!!
We're always friendly to thePopo!!, After all, they know over half our Staff and all theMgmt too!! via Arrests, Detention, Past & pending litigations against officers etc.
Our SodaGuns Are Registered with theState!! d:oP
Plus they Kill you.... eventually.
but theMost Inviting message that we've ever put on our outside BoardSign ended up being moved to a Plaque and permanently hung in our Outside Foyer,
It read: Come Take Advantage of our Sleeping Ladies!!, as our posted drinks and potions that week were made from 2oz each of no less than 10 different varieties of alcohol,
Our sandwich board signs are also worn by Truant employees and Dummo!!'s that don't wash dishes fast enough!! Yes, theSam!! has his own sign to wear, he keeps it stored in theHallwayBroomCloset!!
along with pretty much all his other junk he's accumulated.
oh yes.... almost forgot.
One day when theSam!! was sent out to walk the sidewalk in front of theBar!! to promote our latest Seafood fare collections and other Catches of theDay!!
You could guess that he wrote theStandard!! message of "come Get Crabs!! here" or some other silly remarks about "not only are theCrabs High priced, but our ServerGirls!! are also ExpensiveTail!!"
no no....
theSam!!, always theChildInside that he is, or rather, that he lets out.... everyday in fact.
Targeted all theMommies that day that walked or drove by theRestaurant!!
he drew with theKidz!! in chalk on theSidewalks, they played Hopscotch, Pin theSkirt on theServerGirl!!, Which bottle is Full!! etc,
And it took thePowerWashCrew we hired to later clean theSideWalk of all Drawings, Sloganz, "deadBody" diagrams, death threats against Mgmt etc 12hrs to erase all evidence of Sam!!'s artistic work.
*sigh*
But that day we did get an influx of business from theKidCrowd!!
We had to just "half" our servings of food and downsize many of our entree items as well,
to make 'em more friendly for SmallHands to grasp!!
We got rid of our excess paperPlates that we didnt really need anymore.
And oddly enough, we doubled our Alcohol sales that day from just theParents alone!!
In the near future we'll put a KidzKorner in our Restaurant and hire some MethHeadz from theValley!! to oversee theOperations as we Cook Fry and Bake!! for our newest crowd of young appetites!!
And why do we need druggies to help us cook!?
Well. Aside from our present Staff!!, of which, none really want to publicly demonstrate their methMaking skills, but in order for us to cater to theKidCrowd,
we gotta have those professionally made EZ bake MiniOvens, the EZ burn miniRanges, the EZ clean Wash-n-Store DishWashers too!! and all Ware has to be special ordered, non Breakable!!
I guess we'll have to dedicate "One" of our tv's to theKidzTunez!! satellite channel on HDTV as well.
Anyway, No matter what form of advertising, do it with Style!!, do it well and in the Process, Keep all writing utensils away from theSam!!
Our LeadChef's and theNightMgr still wonder what that Hyroglyph meant,
of an DMO brandishing a Spatula, theLongPaddle (an 4' long device to stir the 30gal soup pot) and a Whisk and Chasing said Chefs & Magrs.....
Beating them senseless, and using Cake molds as restraint devices and whipping theBusGirls!!
our queries to some local Shrinks and picture anylists will take a few months!!
In the meantime, everyone says, just feed "him" Cheesecake!! and keep "him" happy!!
theDeliveryGuy!!
I always make it a point to stop by theChippedCup!! first thing every day cos, no matter how dysfunctional my own family life, or even theVillage!! or quite frankly, anything else known to man may be,
it's nothing compared to that place!! Then I go about my work day feeling so much better about myself.
One time I knocked on theDelivery door, and knocked, and knocked.
Then I heard a noise nearby, and then saw theLid to theGreenDumpster open up and there emerged, still hungover!! was,
theDummoSam!!, two bar patrons, a ServerGirl!!, oneChefBoss!! and.... my own mother!?
what the hell!!
and everyone yawned, Wiped eyes, coughed, stretched a bit.
And a bottle of mouthwash was passed around from which EVERYONE took a swig.
Then everyone perked up and it was business as usual!!
theTwo bar patrons went back to theBar!!, theServerGirl!! clocked in, theFemaleChef!! changed cookingJackets and started to inspect my goods I delivered.
Mom staggered away. and Sam!!
he shut theLid to theDumpster!! and stayed inside as far as I know.
-----------------------
theOpenedKeg!!
Presents an On Tap Production!!
Starring a Barrel of Fun!!
a lil' Brown Jug!!
a sharp Bladed Instrument!!
and You!!
-------------------------
THE CULTURED ALCOHOLIC!!
or, "How to act when Wine Tasting!!"
Remember that most alcohol came from a Still!! So, no matter how excited you are inside and no matter how bad your withdrawals may be,
just be STILL!!
--------------
I only drink at complimentary trade shows now adays but you will find theOdd showing of Wines to be Pay per taste!! Avoid these events like thePlague!! because you shouldn't have to pay to taste wine-EVER!! uhh.. I don't!!
Become a restaurant or bar employee and sign up for those complimentary In-house tasting events that the really high end establishments are known for and if you get a really great Boss or two, like I have!!,
whom allows theShift meal to be eaten by Staff on theFloor (to include being Eaten From theFloor!!, At or even Under theBar or At or even from Off the tables and sometimes from Off theFloor UNDER theTables at theBoss' sexy stiletto clad feet!!) and they pour everyone a sampling of Wine, alcohol or beer to compliment theShiftMeal - bless their hearts!!,
those Ample, huge Breasted, cleavage covered Hearts from which lacy, Racy things and baubles just cling to and dangle over!!
....I mean besides me, dangling over theBoss' shoulders giving a tender hug now and then while they read theNewsPapers, speak on Phones, eat, etc.
Keep that job no matter what!! Like I'm currently doing. I mean, I'm gonna be homeless and what not in another month unless I start working more hours!!
But still. Who CARES!?,
I work just a few hours a day, not even 12 hours a week for theGreatest bosses in theWorld!! d:oD
uh... I think I'm saying too much here aren't I?!
anyway, Moving on!!
--------------
(Sung to theTune, "Oh When theSaints go Marching In!!")
"Oh when theVend, comes Staggrin' In!!
oh when theVend, comes staggerin' in,
oh yes I want to drink from that tumbler,
when theVend, comes crawling in!!"
I love our VendorLady.
She's cooler than a bottle of Champagne that's been on Ice for 10mins!!
her's theBomb!! bombay gin to be exact.
Cos, other than wine, she loves theGin!!
of course, I've found out that I shouldn't drink gin at all.
It makes theSam!! just outright mean.
-------------------------
Anyway, I look forward to those days at work when our Vend!!
comes staggering into theRestaurant!!
Her’s my drinking buddy,
She’s theOne that taught me how to properly SpitWine!!
I remember it clearly, or rather, hazy, murky, a somewhat foggy recollection,
but still memorable none theLess!! Because after she staggered into theBar
from her small totebag, she pulled out an 3x4 foot cork/dry erase board
(and her totebag was only 1x2 foot!!
But, like All good drinkers, she, like me!!, and like all theVillage!! too, we ALL think alike when it comes to preferentialities!!
When it comes to us liking certain things, a certain way.
OurVendorLady, likes her small note boards to be "Collapsible"
"I", theVPSO at one time!!, like my steel batons to be "collapsible"
Even my PublicSafetyCareer is collapsible!!
In fact, it fell flat over 4 yrs ago!!
My VendorBuddy took out her dry erase board and then fished around in her totebag for some markers to illustrate that days WineList of what drinks she'd be pouring that day for us at theBar.
After getting into theMood!!, to teach us Patrons on her VendorRoute by sniffing her permanent marker collection, she pulled out a blue DryErase marker and started to draw for us,
Before our jaded eyes emerged this little scene:
a little girl playing on a swingset, and her tiny backpack was nearby, an PowerPuff backpack!! to be precise.
She was with her little dog fluffy and theSun was shining brightly overhead.
The sky was blue, theGrass was green, and her shoes were taupe mules her Mom got for her at JaySeePenneys.
(btw, all of this WAS drawn out for us with "ONE" color, Blue!!)
And what the hell her drawing something like this for us had anything to do with drinking Wine, we'll probably never know,
cos, what theHey!!, she gives us free Wine!!
We drink with her!! And I will continue with some memorable sips!!
-------------------------
Our WineVendorLady, is always one to complain about the amount of Wine being poured, even if she's theOne!! pouring it.
Even if her hand is on theBottle and she's spashing cute "WhalesTales" for us into our tilted glasses, she always complains!!
I guess she enforces into our psyches and Gullets!! that this snide complaining, which, in many wine tasting circles, is a big No-No!!
An though theProperAmount per Taste!! is an cute ounce or less per glass.
We've all since, first meeting our beloved LadyOfTheRedGlass!!, shed all formalities and get right down to drinking when ever she comes by.
One day, when just a couple of us BOH / back of House, 2 BarGirls!! and a Mgr were present, Eating our curried Chicken soup and buttering our Toasted 3 grain bread,
I'd decided that I'd had enough of the hot spiced soup.
And I made a face.
Our VendorLady saw me do this through theBottom of her WineGlass and used that as a teaching opportunity!! Besides, she just likes to talk and so, she talks about everything and Anything!!
-------------------------
So, another WineTasting lesson is, don’t make Faces!! d:o(
And let this also be a FoodTaste lesson as well.
*sigh*
Of course, to make ammends from having Offended theChef!! that day by not finishing my currySpiced soup.
I had to clean theOverheadGrillVents, Scrub theGrillTops,
Tidy up theKitchenFloors and get pneumonia-like flu symptoms for a week,
because I then finished my workShift by cleaning out those incredibly cold Walk-In Freezers. Washing & Wiping down ALL 4 walls, having to move all the stored, wrapped up, prepared foods, and having to clean theKegRoom as well d:oD
I tell ya', it pays off tremendously to act like you absolutely HATE beer.
of which I really DO.
I don't like to drink it, but I've sampled some here and there and when we get to taste new product with meals, I reluctantly sample!!
now that I think about it. "I" was cooking that day when theCurryChicken Soup was served.
The base was Tomato soup, and everyone knows that a HUGE dollop of fresh cream or even CremeCheese goes well with tomato soup. But I don't know why I added theCurry.
anyway.
Remember that you aren't just "any drinker off the street", you’re in “Polite” company.
If you don’t like theWine, just buy a pallet load and upsell to your customers!! And pass theBitching onto them!!
By quietly observing from theWings and seeing "Them" making faces when drinking Wine with their meals.
----------------------------
Another factor to consider when Wine Tasting.
It depends on whose driving!!, and how far you’ll have to go, and lastly,
whom looks best at that moment for theDUI / FST's, theField Sobriety Tests that will be administered to you after thePolice pull you over for "weaving in traffic, running several redLights and for driving AGAINST traffic on a OneWay street!!
Not that I've ever done any of this, I'm just saying.
Oh...
And depending upon how many Pedestrians you hit in theParking lot after leaving work and you BACK UP 100 feet before moving Forward and into traffic.
(an SteakHouse!! work buddy of mine, SHE did this once when she gave me a ride home, and many of you dear readers wonder why "I" walk home late at night after work, It's because I want to stay OUT of jail and not be near anyone that drinks then drives!!)
Anyway, it all depends upon Who's Driving!! that's it. Plain and simple.
who is driving.
uhmm....
And as I said earlier, I learned to properly spit wine out when Tasting, but it's always good to just drink the darn stuff and not waste it by spitting it out.
As for Drinking and Driving and getting pulled over by police,
you can either spit or Swallow. My VendorBuddy, she always swallows!!
(I'll leave that last thought up to your imaginations!! Remember, that I have LEO friends, contacs, associates, and know who does what to avoid jail or tickets with whom, who's sexing whom in their PatrolVehicles!!, Whose cheating on whom and whos doing other things, like DVE!!
You think my blog is silly and meaningless, but it's not. I say much more with Mirth than outright truth!!, even those in power here in AK aren't immune to DVE)
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theSam!!'s Wine Tasting Myths Exposed!!
1. an Earthy taste has nothing to do with thePavement, be sure to pass out upon grass or face down on dirt.
Other tastes or descriptions like; Perfuming and Strawberries!! might not have anything to do with Wine drinking and more to do with theCute lil' honey in your arms.
Is she wearing perfume!!, does her hair smell like strawberries!!
2. When talking to others at your table.
Keep your hands visible, Palms out!! to others, It's ok to make "planes flying" movements, it's ok to "roll" your hands like imitating a wheel or the tumble action of something rolling like your laundry dryer.
Pretend you’re wearing Handcuffs, which, as some WineTasters have done, via Wine tasting and then Driving and getting DUI!!
it's that simple!!
3. When introducing yourself to others.
You must have a cool sounding, non confrontational name.
If you’re a man, call yourself, “Sandie”, or "Breck", or "Jace"
Perhaps a "Location" sounding name is cool too, like,
"Yorum" (Your Room!!, your Bed Room!! to be exact) or even "Jail!!" sounds cool too.
After all, where do most Males go after they've committed crimes against females, after being under theInfluence, go to!? !!
If you're a woman, call yourself by Initials,
like "J.C.", although I'd rule out initials like "B.J.", "X.T.C." or "H. Ivy!!" Unless, unless!!
You are incredibly cute and hardly wear any clothing when maintaining your WineVendorRoute!! Then call yourself anything you want!!
Because, after all theDrinking, theFlirting and theTrysting!! YOU won't be theOnes going to jail!!
4. Rich people and Skid Row.
Are they worlds apart!?, Are they of "different Pedigree?!", is one more better than the other!?
You BETCHA!!
Those darn bums on SkidRow think they're better than everyone else that drinks!!
And they're probably right as far as Quantity and Variety goes.
After all, there's thousands of drinks just sitting on theStore shelves in supermarket today!! You got all those floor cleaner compounds, all that afterShave & cologne, You got all those juice blends and even bottled water at your disposal to use as a Carrier base when any Vodka, Whiskey or Schnapps isn't around to mix with.
But RichPeople are specialists. Probably having only sipped and twirled through only a couple hundred variety of drinks before settling down upon 4 concoctions to sip and swirl Before, During and AFTER dinner!!
oh.. which reminds me. RICH people get to "EAT" daily as well.
5. theWhiskey Sour!!, and theRusty Nail!! crowd are not your friends!
See #4 MythExposed!! above, and here's also why.
it's NOT that Scotch, lemon twists, Bourbon, whiskey or even Marischino cherries are a problem!!
it's that Darn ICE!!
Remember, You're in Polite Company now by WineDrinking!! or even Drinking and then Whining!!
Your elevated KIND doesn't need to have that hideous Ice touch your drinks anymore.
Ice, which probably used to be a staple in your drinks, should now be relegated to just Chilling your Wine & Champagne in an Ice bucket down to a proper WineCellar temperature!!
or at least, to that temperature of your current marriage!!
d:oP
6. It’s all about YOU!!
And you should aptly express this gesture to others when pouring "more" Wine for yourself, than for your friends!!
Pour "More" for yourself than for your Wife, or Hubby!!,
Pour "More" for yourself than for your Mistress on theSly!!, heck, she's got enough "Pouring" out her braLine anyway.
it's all about YOU baby!!
You's a fine.. whine connisour..
an celebrant of cellar sippings and no one knows more about Wine,,, *hiccup!!*
than YOO!!
7. Whine Drinkerz our Dome,
whine,
Wine dinkers are totall, toad-ally, like, Juss dumbe!!
This notion could be further from theTruth!! (or from Sam!!'s Spoof for that matter) but sadly it isn't far.
You see, Wine Drinkers are Smart, handsome, coy, Rich, all around swell guys and gals to hang with but after that condition called "Drunkenness" sets in then pretty much you're relegated to "skidRow" status,
if only because you end up Swearing, spewing filthy diatribes, being genuinely mean and completely forgetting your manners.
But I'm not out to bust this myth, just to perpetuate it.
So.. Onward we go.
WineDrinkers are really wordy and descriptive people. They're theKings & Queens of Buzzwords.
When being in Polite company and after sticking your Nose deep into a glass that contains a 1/2 oz or even a 1/4oz of a nice dark Red. You're supposed to utter these words to everyone around you.
"It's Very Nice, Sweet and Fruity!!",
Then swish theWine around some more in theGlass and then taste a small portion of that.
You should then utter a profound statement like, "A dry Crisp Finnish!!"
Just don't make theMistake like theSam!! did once, when gasping out.
"a Nice HOT Finnish!!" while staring at theFemale OfficeReceptionist. Whom, btw, WAS from Finland.
Not good to do at all, Although, theSam!! did get a phone number afterwards! d:o)
Just say that your sample "Finishes off dry", or that "there's something in your eye". It just depends on how much everyone's had to drink up until then, if it's a lot, then say anything that rhymes with "dry, thigh, eye, why" etc.
Make fun of theBoss' wifes huge thighs, tell your girlfriends you'd love to stand them on their head and hold their legs like a "Y", heck!!
Even tell your boss that you'd love to make him cry!! etc.
Since we know that, as a heavy Wine drinker, you'll probably never get married, that doesn't mean that your Wine compliment descriptions are celibate!!, Void of love and togetherness!!
Say sappy stuff when drinking in front of some really hot Blondes or Brunettes, stuff like "the Angelic flavors of grape and sugars are getting married",
Or say, "this Corresponds with or beckons theShellfish", or what ever fine meal you're eating at the time. In fact, beckon to your host or server and read theBottle to see what theHeck it is you're drinking and read theLabel!!
You'll impress your female company, that as a Man!!, that you're reading and comprehending something not Sports related and you'll be educating yourself in what specific drinks are recommended for which specific dishes, meats, fishes and desserts.
8. Minerals.
meh...
I've said it before.
When you pass out on theFloor, make sure you lick the carpet where people walk so you'll get a taste of "ground".
Or if you're outside, pass out on thePavement, in theGutter, or on the Grass and that should take care of your referencing wine to Earth, to Minerals!!
9. No matter where your wine came from, or whom your Vendor is, All wines come from France!!
Period.
Never mind that Wineries are sprung up pretty much everywhere now a days.
ALL WINE COMES FROM FRANCE!! ok?! !?
ok.
and drink theDamn glass of Vino, even if it does taste like someone actually pressed theGrapes with their bare feet, your wine came to you all the way from France so deal with it!!
10. Wear appropriate eye protection when Saluting.
Even to include headProtection as well.
Better yet, textMessage your EMT buddies and make sure your suite at theHospital is all ready!!
“cos I’m going out tonight!!”
I say this because it seems all theRage!! for Waiters, ServerGirls!!, BarTenders!! and heck!!-even theOccasional Dummo!! whom happens to find unopened Alcohol bottles thrown out in Trash!!-to all OPEN bottles now adays with an Edged Weapon.
theSam!! understands that in olden days of wooden sailing ships and ironMen, some Wine bottles were opened up with a stroke of a Sword!!
and some Modern day WineMakers and Wine Drinking Specialists & Educators keep this dramatic ceremony alive.
So, swing away with a SamuraiSword, or with a Rambo machette, or even with a titanium battleFolder!!
You won't go wrong in serving your guests, friends and associates up with a bladeFlash!!, a ToastyWordCrass!!, and then later on serving up a GlassCrash with a woundGash!!,
to which, later on you'll serve up your lawyer a WadCash!! and hopefully keep county prisoners OUT ofAss!! uh.. Yours!!
and be careful how you're toasting people these days.
As theSam!! went out drinking recently with some buddies from work and as glasses "clinked" all around,
in a moment of merriment, theSam!! clinked against theCloseShaven head of an Tattood GF of a ServerGirl!! "thunk!!"
not good.... not good at all.
This is where eye protection, head protection, to include Groin protection and Insurance and your own MedicalSuite comes in handy!!
11. Everyone’s a specialist!!
and a Comedian!!
and Good looking, Smart, Clean, talented.
Everyone's so Friendly, so gregarious, so witty and sharp!!
and a Bloggist too!!
12. Wine headaches!!
Keep on drinking!!
And for headaches that come from OPW / Other Peoples Whining!!
Just drink more!! and if that still doesn't work.
I'm sure there's a blade of some length and heft laying around nearby.
Use that!!
13. a Meal without Wine is called......
breakfast!! at least in some sociable circles.
but up here in Alaska, out in theVillage!! it's called.........
Incarceration!!
14. theColor of Love!? a variatal Red!?
an opaque, see through White!?
or an much crimson DVE / domesticViolenceEvent red?!, *hiccup!!*
theColor and Language!! of Love is many wonderful things!!
from Cabernet to KitchenCabinet!!
either by bending her OVER or else putting her head into!!
from monteBlanc to fishingBank!!
either by a romantic fishing trip or else by chasing her around town and down to theRiver!!
Love IS!! what You want your drink to be,
Love IS!! what You want your sweetheart to feel,
Lovs IS!! a Fatal Red or a Cadaver White...
d:o(
15. Why’s da cook... *hiccup*,
present.. At the reststop....
no no....
*hiccup!!*
Why’s a kork..... the Cork!! is presented....
*Lays head down on table*
too yyoooooo,
*yawns!!* at theRestaurant!!
*drools........*
----------------------
I'm theSam!!
and that's that!!
samuel l flyinghorse
anchorage, alaska
-alaskaVillageTales-
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theChippedCup!!
theServerGirls!! indeed get prettier at closing time, but also, all the unguarded CheeseCake starts to disappear too!!
theChippedCup!!
not only Listing,
-their 2000+ Food dishes,
-their 4000+ Drink specialties,
-their 8,984+ (this 2008 year alone!! Sheeesh...) StateofAK food division complaints!!,
-the Offspring of their cute ServerGirls!! by lb, oz, and whom "It" looks most like!!,
-their companion, Paid!! Websites that belong to certain ServerGirls!!
Alphabetically!!
-But also listing their DMO's / Dummos!! mug shots, Rap sheets, Tats, MySpace pages and number of guns owned....ALL ALPHABETICAL too!!
we like to think that we're not only Hip!!
But Thigh, Breast, Waist, smooth Buttock, etc.
erhh. To include theSam!!'s expanding waistline as well.
But don't look too hard for him in our Posted bulletin boards, he's not there!!
theBarTender!!
never One to complain and criticize any coWorker, Mgr, or Guest.
But each St Paddy's Day,
he just manages to "Lose" theTV remote whenever taking employee lunch break.
We'd never have known it was "Him" that lost theRemote, but one evening when an "Melee" or "disturbance" of sorts happened just down theStreet,
and a police Cruiser then pulled up and Detained several People. Of which, our BarTender was One!!
Every time theCops patted down theBackPocket of theBarTender!! theHDTV in theMainBar would change channels!!
it took us 6weeks to get that remote back from thePolice, and 6 months before our BarTender returned to us, still as stubborn and inebriate as ever!!
theBarTender'sBestFriend!!
Everyone in theBar!! has had their hands on theBTBF!!
Everyday in fact. Always Opening, always handling said Friend,
Using said Friend and even involving...
But before we go any further, We're talking about the fantastic bar tend book by that name sillies!!
d:oP
oh.. and theBarTender's best friend Is, thePatron at theBar with theDT's!! / deleriumTremens!!
Always useful to have an onsite "shaker" when those dumb, lazy Dummo's in back Kitchen are slow to Wash and Return all Bar ware to front of House!!
theSignBoard!!
who's One sided dimensions are a sturdy 3'x 4' Weather resistant Chalk Writing Surface!!, Black in color and with a box of Pastels & Chalk fastened to theInside for storage, and often kept Inside behind theBar!! for safe keeping, We'll get to theSam!!'s shenanigans with our Chalk later on,
As for our signs.
oft times, theSignBoard is theMost coherent Message Delivery System posted Outside and Often INSIDE theBar!!
You'd think that all those Sotted, convivial drinkers and hangersOn, theHugeBreastedHangersOut!! ( . )Y( . ) and what Not
that are drinking and carrying on inside thePlace would be adequately delivering their own individual messages to their friends, their Emps, their Ex's via CellPhone!! etc but NOO..
You and I should know already that drinkers are a talkative sort but rarely listen!!
But they DO READ!! they have to read cos, as many of you know, you can't HEAR in a Bar!! It's too LOUD with all that rock music blaring.
hence, theSandwichBoardSign!! that, One posted INside and one posted OUTside, stands with theDay's!! message for all to heed!!
Case in point!!
Blender Unto Caesars' that which is Dressing!!
but if you keep teasing our EuropeanBarMaids!! with Ice cream in a cup,
they're gonna go CuisineArt!! on you, rip off your head and shat down your Neck!!
Even when a local church needed our large upstairs facilities for a month while their church building remodeled, we'd put this on theBoard each Sunday!!
Render Unto Seizures that which Shaketh!!
All demonically possessed peeps needed to help Shake theMartini's & Margaritas before church services.....
Please!!
and from that event, "Linda B" has been our best Margarita shaker & Soup Maker!!
And for our Sports Events and Boys Night out special events, We'd taunt thePublic!1 with these words.
To Thine Own Liver Be True!!
You can always get another Wife / Girlfriend!!
We're always friendly to thePopo!!, After all, they know over half our Staff and all theMgmt too!! via Arrests, Detention, Past & pending litigations against officers etc.
Our SodaGuns Are Registered with theState!! d:oP
Plus they Kill you.... eventually.
but theMost Inviting message that we've ever put on our outside BoardSign ended up being moved to a Plaque and permanently hung in our Outside Foyer,
It read: Come Take Advantage of our Sleeping Ladies!!, as our posted drinks and potions that week were made from 2oz each of no less than 10 different varieties of alcohol,
Our sandwich board signs are also worn by Truant employees and Dummo!!'s that don't wash dishes fast enough!! Yes, theSam!! has his own sign to wear, he keeps it stored in theHallwayBroomCloset!!
along with pretty much all his other junk he's accumulated.
oh yes.... almost forgot.
One day when theSam!! was sent out to walk the sidewalk in front of theBar!! to promote our latest Seafood fare collections and other Catches of theDay!!
You could guess that he wrote theStandard!! message of "come Get Crabs!! here" or some other silly remarks about "not only are theCrabs High priced, but our ServerGirls!! are also ExpensiveTail!!"
no no....
theSam!!, always theChildInside that he is, or rather, that he lets out.... everyday in fact.
Targeted all theMommies that day that walked or drove by theRestaurant!!
he drew with theKidz!! in chalk on theSidewalks, they played Hopscotch, Pin theSkirt on theServerGirl!!, Which bottle is Full!! etc,
And it took thePowerWashCrew we hired to later clean theSideWalk of all Drawings, Sloganz, "deadBody" diagrams, death threats against Mgmt etc 12hrs to erase all evidence of Sam!!'s artistic work.
*sigh*
But that day we did get an influx of business from theKidCrowd!!
We had to just "half" our servings of food and downsize many of our entree items as well,
to make 'em more friendly for SmallHands to grasp!!
We got rid of our excess paperPlates that we didnt really need anymore.
And oddly enough, we doubled our Alcohol sales that day from just theParents alone!!
In the near future we'll put a KidzKorner in our Restaurant and hire some MethHeadz from theValley!! to oversee theOperations as we Cook Fry and Bake!! for our newest crowd of young appetites!!
And why do we need druggies to help us cook!?
Well. Aside from our present Staff!!, of which, none really want to publicly demonstrate their methMaking skills, but in order for us to cater to theKidCrowd,
we gotta have those professionally made EZ bake MiniOvens, the EZ burn miniRanges, the EZ clean Wash-n-Store DishWashers too!! and all Ware has to be special ordered, non Breakable!!
I guess we'll have to dedicate "One" of our tv's to theKidzTunez!! satellite channel on HDTV as well.
Anyway, No matter what form of advertising, do it with Style!!, do it well and in the Process, Keep all writing utensils away from theSam!!
Our LeadChef's and theNightMgr still wonder what that Hyroglyph meant,
of an DMO brandishing a Spatula, theLongPaddle (an 4' long device to stir the 30gal soup pot) and a Whisk and Chasing said Chefs & Magrs.....
Beating them senseless, and using Cake molds as restraint devices and whipping theBusGirls!!
our queries to some local Shrinks and picture anylists will take a few months!!
In the meantime, everyone says, just feed "him" Cheesecake!! and keep "him" happy!!
theDeliveryGuy!!
I always make it a point to stop by theChippedCup!! first thing every day cos, no matter how dysfunctional my own family life, or even theVillage!! or quite frankly, anything else known to man may be,
it's nothing compared to that place!! Then I go about my work day feeling so much better about myself.
One time I knocked on theDelivery door, and knocked, and knocked.
Then I heard a noise nearby, and then saw theLid to theGreenDumpster open up and there emerged, still hungover!! was,
theDummoSam!!, two bar patrons, a ServerGirl!!, oneChefBoss!! and.... my own mother!?
what the hell!!
and everyone yawned, Wiped eyes, coughed, stretched a bit.
And a bottle of mouthwash was passed around from which EVERYONE took a swig.
Then everyone perked up and it was business as usual!!
theTwo bar patrons went back to theBar!!, theServerGirl!! clocked in, theFemaleChef!! changed cookingJackets and started to inspect my goods I delivered.
Mom staggered away. and Sam!!
he shut theLid to theDumpster!! and stayed inside as far as I know.
-----------------------
theOpenedKeg!!
Presents an On Tap Production!!
Starring a Barrel of Fun!!
a lil' Brown Jug!!
a sharp Bladed Instrument!!
and You!!
-------------------------
THE CULTURED ALCOHOLIC!!
or, "How to act when Wine Tasting!!"
Remember that most alcohol came from a Still!! So, no matter how excited you are inside and no matter how bad your withdrawals may be,
just be STILL!!
--------------
I only drink at complimentary trade shows now adays but you will find theOdd showing of Wines to be Pay per taste!! Avoid these events like thePlague!! because you shouldn't have to pay to taste wine-EVER!! uhh.. I don't!!
Become a restaurant or bar employee and sign up for those complimentary In-house tasting events that the really high end establishments are known for and if you get a really great Boss or two, like I have!!,
whom allows theShift meal to be eaten by Staff on theFloor (to include being Eaten From theFloor!!, At or even Under theBar or At or even from Off the tables and sometimes from Off theFloor UNDER theTables at theBoss' sexy stiletto clad feet!!) and they pour everyone a sampling of Wine, alcohol or beer to compliment theShiftMeal - bless their hearts!!,
those Ample, huge Breasted, cleavage covered Hearts from which lacy, Racy things and baubles just cling to and dangle over!!
....I mean besides me, dangling over theBoss' shoulders giving a tender hug now and then while they read theNewsPapers, speak on Phones, eat, etc.
Keep that job no matter what!! Like I'm currently doing. I mean, I'm gonna be homeless and what not in another month unless I start working more hours!!
But still. Who CARES!?,
I work just a few hours a day, not even 12 hours a week for theGreatest bosses in theWorld!! d:oD
uh... I think I'm saying too much here aren't I?!
anyway, Moving on!!
--------------
(Sung to theTune, "Oh When theSaints go Marching In!!")
"Oh when theVend, comes Staggrin' In!!
oh when theVend, comes staggerin' in,
oh yes I want to drink from that tumbler,
when theVend, comes crawling in!!"
I love our VendorLady.
She's cooler than a bottle of Champagne that's been on Ice for 10mins!!
her's theBomb!! bombay gin to be exact.
Cos, other than wine, she loves theGin!!
of course, I've found out that I shouldn't drink gin at all.
It makes theSam!! just outright mean.
-------------------------
Anyway, I look forward to those days at work when our Vend!!
comes staggering into theRestaurant!!
Her’s my drinking buddy,
She’s theOne that taught me how to properly SpitWine!!
I remember it clearly, or rather, hazy, murky, a somewhat foggy recollection,
but still memorable none theLess!! Because after she staggered into theBar
from her small totebag, she pulled out an 3x4 foot cork/dry erase board
(and her totebag was only 1x2 foot!!
But, like All good drinkers, she, like me!!, and like all theVillage!! too, we ALL think alike when it comes to preferentialities!!
When it comes to us liking certain things, a certain way.
OurVendorLady, likes her small note boards to be "Collapsible"
"I", theVPSO at one time!!, like my steel batons to be "collapsible"
Even my PublicSafetyCareer is collapsible!!
In fact, it fell flat over 4 yrs ago!!
My VendorBuddy took out her dry erase board and then fished around in her totebag for some markers to illustrate that days WineList of what drinks she'd be pouring that day for us at theBar.
After getting into theMood!!, to teach us Patrons on her VendorRoute by sniffing her permanent marker collection, she pulled out a blue DryErase marker and started to draw for us,
Before our jaded eyes emerged this little scene:
a little girl playing on a swingset, and her tiny backpack was nearby, an PowerPuff backpack!! to be precise.
She was with her little dog fluffy and theSun was shining brightly overhead.
The sky was blue, theGrass was green, and her shoes were taupe mules her Mom got for her at JaySeePenneys.
(btw, all of this WAS drawn out for us with "ONE" color, Blue!!)
And what the hell her drawing something like this for us had anything to do with drinking Wine, we'll probably never know,
cos, what theHey!!, she gives us free Wine!!
We drink with her!! And I will continue with some memorable sips!!
-------------------------
Our WineVendorLady, is always one to complain about the amount of Wine being poured, even if she's theOne!! pouring it.
Even if her hand is on theBottle and she's spashing cute "WhalesTales" for us into our tilted glasses, she always complains!!
I guess she enforces into our psyches and Gullets!! that this snide complaining, which, in many wine tasting circles, is a big No-No!!
An though theProperAmount per Taste!! is an cute ounce or less per glass.
We've all since, first meeting our beloved LadyOfTheRedGlass!!, shed all formalities and get right down to drinking when ever she comes by.
One day, when just a couple of us BOH / back of House, 2 BarGirls!! and a Mgr were present, Eating our curried Chicken soup and buttering our Toasted 3 grain bread,
I'd decided that I'd had enough of the hot spiced soup.
And I made a face.
Our VendorLady saw me do this through theBottom of her WineGlass and used that as a teaching opportunity!! Besides, she just likes to talk and so, she talks about everything and Anything!!
-------------------------
So, another WineTasting lesson is, don’t make Faces!! d:o(
And let this also be a FoodTaste lesson as well.
*sigh*
Of course, to make ammends from having Offended theChef!! that day by not finishing my currySpiced soup.
I had to clean theOverheadGrillVents, Scrub theGrillTops,
Tidy up theKitchenFloors and get pneumonia-like flu symptoms for a week,
because I then finished my workShift by cleaning out those incredibly cold Walk-In Freezers. Washing & Wiping down ALL 4 walls, having to move all the stored, wrapped up, prepared foods, and having to clean theKegRoom as well d:oD
I tell ya', it pays off tremendously to act like you absolutely HATE beer.
of which I really DO.
I don't like to drink it, but I've sampled some here and there and when we get to taste new product with meals, I reluctantly sample!!
now that I think about it. "I" was cooking that day when theCurryChicken Soup was served.
The base was Tomato soup, and everyone knows that a HUGE dollop of fresh cream or even CremeCheese goes well with tomato soup. But I don't know why I added theCurry.
anyway.
Remember that you aren't just "any drinker off the street", you’re in “Polite” company.
If you don’t like theWine, just buy a pallet load and upsell to your customers!! And pass theBitching onto them!!
By quietly observing from theWings and seeing "Them" making faces when drinking Wine with their meals.
----------------------------
Another factor to consider when Wine Tasting.
It depends on whose driving!!, and how far you’ll have to go, and lastly,
whom looks best at that moment for theDUI / FST's, theField Sobriety Tests that will be administered to you after thePolice pull you over for "weaving in traffic, running several redLights and for driving AGAINST traffic on a OneWay street!!
Not that I've ever done any of this, I'm just saying.
Oh...
And depending upon how many Pedestrians you hit in theParking lot after leaving work and you BACK UP 100 feet before moving Forward and into traffic.
(an SteakHouse!! work buddy of mine, SHE did this once when she gave me a ride home, and many of you dear readers wonder why "I" walk home late at night after work, It's because I want to stay OUT of jail and not be near anyone that drinks then drives!!)
Anyway, it all depends upon Who's Driving!! that's it. Plain and simple.
who is driving.
uhmm....
And as I said earlier, I learned to properly spit wine out when Tasting, but it's always good to just drink the darn stuff and not waste it by spitting it out.
As for Drinking and Driving and getting pulled over by police,
you can either spit or Swallow. My VendorBuddy, she always swallows!!
(I'll leave that last thought up to your imaginations!! Remember, that I have LEO friends, contacs, associates, and know who does what to avoid jail or tickets with whom, who's sexing whom in their PatrolVehicles!!, Whose cheating on whom and whos doing other things, like DVE!!
You think my blog is silly and meaningless, but it's not. I say much more with Mirth than outright truth!!, even those in power here in AK aren't immune to DVE)
-------------------------
theSam!!'s Wine Tasting Myths Exposed!!
1. an Earthy taste has nothing to do with thePavement, be sure to pass out upon grass or face down on dirt.
Other tastes or descriptions like; Perfuming and Strawberries!! might not have anything to do with Wine drinking and more to do with theCute lil' honey in your arms.
Is she wearing perfume!!, does her hair smell like strawberries!!
2. When talking to others at your table.
Keep your hands visible, Palms out!! to others, It's ok to make "planes flying" movements, it's ok to "roll" your hands like imitating a wheel or the tumble action of something rolling like your laundry dryer.
Pretend you’re wearing Handcuffs, which, as some WineTasters have done, via Wine tasting and then Driving and getting DUI!!
it's that simple!!
3. When introducing yourself to others.
You must have a cool sounding, non confrontational name.
If you’re a man, call yourself, “Sandie”, or "Breck", or "Jace"
Perhaps a "Location" sounding name is cool too, like,
"Yorum" (Your Room!!, your Bed Room!! to be exact) or even "Jail!!" sounds cool too.
After all, where do most Males go after they've committed crimes against females, after being under theInfluence, go to!? !!
If you're a woman, call yourself by Initials,
like "J.C.", although I'd rule out initials like "B.J.", "X.T.C." or "H. Ivy!!" Unless, unless!!
You are incredibly cute and hardly wear any clothing when maintaining your WineVendorRoute!! Then call yourself anything you want!!
Because, after all theDrinking, theFlirting and theTrysting!! YOU won't be theOnes going to jail!!
4. Rich people and Skid Row.
Are they worlds apart!?, Are they of "different Pedigree?!", is one more better than the other!?
You BETCHA!!
Those darn bums on SkidRow think they're better than everyone else that drinks!!
And they're probably right as far as Quantity and Variety goes.
After all, there's thousands of drinks just sitting on theStore shelves in supermarket today!! You got all those floor cleaner compounds, all that afterShave & cologne, You got all those juice blends and even bottled water at your disposal to use as a Carrier base when any Vodka, Whiskey or Schnapps isn't around to mix with.
But RichPeople are specialists. Probably having only sipped and twirled through only a couple hundred variety of drinks before settling down upon 4 concoctions to sip and swirl Before, During and AFTER dinner!!
oh.. which reminds me. RICH people get to "EAT" daily as well.
5. theWhiskey Sour!!, and theRusty Nail!! crowd are not your friends!
See #4 MythExposed!! above, and here's also why.
it's NOT that Scotch, lemon twists, Bourbon, whiskey or even Marischino cherries are a problem!!
it's that Darn ICE!!
Remember, You're in Polite Company now by WineDrinking!! or even Drinking and then Whining!!
Your elevated KIND doesn't need to have that hideous Ice touch your drinks anymore.
Ice, which probably used to be a staple in your drinks, should now be relegated to just Chilling your Wine & Champagne in an Ice bucket down to a proper WineCellar temperature!!
or at least, to that temperature of your current marriage!!
d:oP
6. It’s all about YOU!!
And you should aptly express this gesture to others when pouring "more" Wine for yourself, than for your friends!!
Pour "More" for yourself than for your Wife, or Hubby!!,
Pour "More" for yourself than for your Mistress on theSly!!, heck, she's got enough "Pouring" out her braLine anyway.
it's all about YOU baby!!
You's a fine.. whine connisour..
an celebrant of cellar sippings and no one knows more about Wine,,, *hiccup!!*
than YOO!!
7. Whine Drinkerz our Dome,
whine,
Wine dinkers are totall, toad-ally, like, Juss dumbe!!
This notion could be further from theTruth!! (or from Sam!!'s Spoof for that matter) but sadly it isn't far.
You see, Wine Drinkers are Smart, handsome, coy, Rich, all around swell guys and gals to hang with but after that condition called "Drunkenness" sets in then pretty much you're relegated to "skidRow" status,
if only because you end up Swearing, spewing filthy diatribes, being genuinely mean and completely forgetting your manners.
But I'm not out to bust this myth, just to perpetuate it.
So.. Onward we go.
WineDrinkers are really wordy and descriptive people. They're theKings & Queens of Buzzwords.
When being in Polite company and after sticking your Nose deep into a glass that contains a 1/2 oz or even a 1/4oz of a nice dark Red. You're supposed to utter these words to everyone around you.
"It's Very Nice, Sweet and Fruity!!",
Then swish theWine around some more in theGlass and then taste a small portion of that.
You should then utter a profound statement like, "A dry Crisp Finnish!!"
Just don't make theMistake like theSam!! did once, when gasping out.
"a Nice HOT Finnish!!" while staring at theFemale OfficeReceptionist. Whom, btw, WAS from Finland.
Not good to do at all, Although, theSam!! did get a phone number afterwards! d:o)
Just say that your sample "Finishes off dry", or that "there's something in your eye". It just depends on how much everyone's had to drink up until then, if it's a lot, then say anything that rhymes with "dry, thigh, eye, why" etc.
Make fun of theBoss' wifes huge thighs, tell your girlfriends you'd love to stand them on their head and hold their legs like a "Y", heck!!
Even tell your boss that you'd love to make him cry!! etc.
Since we know that, as a heavy Wine drinker, you'll probably never get married, that doesn't mean that your Wine compliment descriptions are celibate!!, Void of love and togetherness!!
Say sappy stuff when drinking in front of some really hot Blondes or Brunettes, stuff like "the Angelic flavors of grape and sugars are getting married",
Or say, "this Corresponds with or beckons theShellfish", or what ever fine meal you're eating at the time. In fact, beckon to your host or server and read theBottle to see what theHeck it is you're drinking and read theLabel!!
You'll impress your female company, that as a Man!!, that you're reading and comprehending something not Sports related and you'll be educating yourself in what specific drinks are recommended for which specific dishes, meats, fishes and desserts.
8. Minerals.
meh...
I've said it before.
When you pass out on theFloor, make sure you lick the carpet where people walk so you'll get a taste of "ground".
Or if you're outside, pass out on thePavement, in theGutter, or on the Grass and that should take care of your referencing wine to Earth, to Minerals!!
9. No matter where your wine came from, or whom your Vendor is, All wines come from France!!
Period.
Never mind that Wineries are sprung up pretty much everywhere now a days.
ALL WINE COMES FROM FRANCE!! ok?! !?
ok.
and drink theDamn glass of Vino, even if it does taste like someone actually pressed theGrapes with their bare feet, your wine came to you all the way from France so deal with it!!
10. Wear appropriate eye protection when Saluting.
Even to include headProtection as well.
Better yet, textMessage your EMT buddies and make sure your suite at theHospital is all ready!!
“cos I’m going out tonight!!”
I say this because it seems all theRage!! for Waiters, ServerGirls!!, BarTenders!! and heck!!-even theOccasional Dummo!! whom happens to find unopened Alcohol bottles thrown out in Trash!!-to all OPEN bottles now adays with an Edged Weapon.
theSam!! understands that in olden days of wooden sailing ships and ironMen, some Wine bottles were opened up with a stroke of a Sword!!
and some Modern day WineMakers and Wine Drinking Specialists & Educators keep this dramatic ceremony alive.
So, swing away with a SamuraiSword, or with a Rambo machette, or even with a titanium battleFolder!!
You won't go wrong in serving your guests, friends and associates up with a bladeFlash!!, a ToastyWordCrass!!, and then later on serving up a GlassCrash with a woundGash!!,
to which, later on you'll serve up your lawyer a WadCash!! and hopefully keep county prisoners OUT ofAss!! uh.. Yours!!
and be careful how you're toasting people these days.
As theSam!! went out drinking recently with some buddies from work and as glasses "clinked" all around,
in a moment of merriment, theSam!! clinked against theCloseShaven head of an Tattood GF of a ServerGirl!! "thunk!!"
not good.... not good at all.
This is where eye protection, head protection, to include Groin protection and Insurance and your own MedicalSuite comes in handy!!
11. Everyone’s a specialist!!
and a Comedian!!
and Good looking, Smart, Clean, talented.
Everyone's so Friendly, so gregarious, so witty and sharp!!
and a Bloggist too!!
12. Wine headaches!!
Keep on drinking!!
And for headaches that come from OPW / Other Peoples Whining!!
Just drink more!! and if that still doesn't work.
I'm sure there's a blade of some length and heft laying around nearby.
Use that!!
13. a Meal without Wine is called......
breakfast!! at least in some sociable circles.
but up here in Alaska, out in theVillage!! it's called.........
Incarceration!!
14. theColor of Love!? a variatal Red!?
an opaque, see through White!?
or an much crimson DVE / domesticViolenceEvent red?!, *hiccup!!*
theColor and Language!! of Love is many wonderful things!!
from Cabernet to KitchenCabinet!!
either by bending her OVER or else putting her head into!!
from monteBlanc to fishingBank!!
either by a romantic fishing trip or else by chasing her around town and down to theRiver!!
Love IS!! what You want your drink to be,
Love IS!! what You want your sweetheart to feel,
Lovs IS!! a Fatal Red or a Cadaver White...
d:o(
15. Why’s da cook... *hiccup*,
present.. At the reststop....
no no....
*hiccup!!*
Why’s a kork..... the Cork!! is presented....
*Lays head down on table*
too yyoooooo,
*yawns!!* at theRestaurant!!
*drools........*
----------------------
I'm theSam!!
and that's that!!
samuel l flyinghorse
anchorage, alaska
-alaskaVillageTales-
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