Village Jobsite!!
theVillage!! JobSite
and Other Employment & Training Links!!
-----------------
We here at YVCInc (doh!!) have revised some of our Village!! based Employment and Training opportunity programs. Thank you for visiting our JobSite for all your Employment-to-Unemployment needs!! Just do us One teenssy little favor ok?!
Don't say "W-o-r-k", cos that's a bad word,
a very BAD BAD word!! d:o(
Anyway, have a look and when you've decided what you want, whether you want to end up right on SkidRow, or to be In and Out of theShelter, or maybe to be semi-Employed like some crazy exVPSO guy,
just let our Unemployed specialists!! give you a hand as they pull you...down!!
--------------
theVillageJobSite!!
-Helmets to Hardhats!!...to HandOuts!!
Please mr., Can youu
*hiccup!!* ...spare a dime?!
Hey buddy!!, can I have a quarter!?
You’ll still be HighlyVisible whether you’re just starting in this lucrative Construction field or on skidRow cos,
You’ll still be wearing that Loud Orange Vest and your platform leather boots.
At least you’ll tower over most Police and Security as they contact you to evict or Arrest your sorry ass.
-Troops to Teachers!!...to Hermit!!
In fact, you’ll skedaddle!! like those funny crabs and head someplace void of Children or, quite frankly, Offspring of Any kind!!
You’ll lead a life that’s Whine free, and pitterPatter of little feet-Free!!
You’ll enjoy all of this if not utter Celibacy and a permanent pilgrimage to an Overseas Monastary / Nunnery.
But FIRST you’ll make a trip to theHospital for a Vasectomy / a complete Hysterectomy!!
*sigh*
though after some brave souls went into theVillage!! schools, they turned around and fought tooth and nail to REENLIST and eagerly served in hostile combat zones WITHOUT helmets, ArmorVests or quite frankly, Without any weapons what so ever.
A majority of these aspiring T2T2H!!’s just chose isolation. And we think one guy even went out to theVillage!! unarmed...
which brings us to our next careerChoice.
-T-Shirt to a Badge!!...to disgruntled exPublicSafetyBloggist!! (but you'll have to grow your hair out for a few years as well as go bald awhile too)
Your bright eyes will suddenly burn out faster than a VPSO or an StateTroop out in theVillage!! when you choose this public safety officer program.
Applicants to this DutyCore are convinced they can change a Villager!!’s world but often just end up changing infant Diapers while theParent is too drunk to move.
(even if that hot VillageChick!! eventually does become your girlfriend)
but you’ll often just be changing theFlat tires on your vandalized Duty Vehicle!! (again...)
So what are you waiting for!? Sign up today and be theLiteral envy of every Lawman in theNation.
Cos at least you’ll be able to say, And Blog!! that you went to many (one waay too many we think) Gun Calls & Fights “Un-Armed” and without any Ballistic protection, communications or any backUP whatsoever.
not that you needed protection or help or frankly cared.
-ShoeStrings to ApronStrings!!....to theNearest Job Center Office!! and then to thePostOffice for your FoodStamp Quest card!!
Join this alaskanVillage!! inspired Rush upon theFast food market in theCity!! oh my heck...
Even some of our VPSO’s have gone this career path!!
Mehh.. if Only to Eat on a daily basis!!
Just be sure to cut thePotatos REEAALLYY skinny and cook them just half as long as you would conventional fries!!
oh... and don’t forget to DoubleKnot your work Apron,
or else theIncredibly Hot ServerGirls!! will sneak up behind you and undo your apron
when your hands are full - of OtherServerGirls!!
-HenPecked to Doghouse!!....to Outhouse!!
an AK Trades & Village Commissions Carpentry sponsored program for newly Married men who’s honeymoons were basically over before they even proposed!!
You’re always in Trouble anyway, what with “Her” or her Mother or like Sam!! even his own mother!! d:o(
So, might as well make it official and Build Your Very Own DogHouse!!
then join our Craftsmen as they build AlaskanOuthouses for-Profit!!, for other subjugated men Worldwide!! (whom still live with their mommies, or at least used to)
And why not?! You've fixed and repaired every piece of wooden furnishings in your house and know quite well, theFeel of Wood upon your Head, Face, Body and deep in your Soul.
-Pot to Panz!!...with a short 4yr stop at a halfWay house somewhere in Between!!
(this program is also endorsed by a former VPSO but he insists, rather dryly and quiet calmly btw, ??,
that he hasn't ever ever inhaled when those cute BarMaids gave him a ride home all of Nov and December, including Jan and Feb!!
he also slowly, nonchalantly claims he couldn't even see out theVehicle due to thePurpleHaze!! that was all up in his mind, making him act funny and he didn't know why, uhmm. Scuse him while he grabs a thigh!!) Sorry Jimi!!
As a Pto to Panz!! careerChoice candidate you know everything anyway!! Or at least you act like it. Well........ maybe for at least 45mins of every hour you toke.
But hey, no one else does!!....Know things......... like..... you........
Nor do they EAT like you either!!
Because you can cook better than anyone else even if you have just one Saltine cracker in the cupboards, a dried up raisin on the floor and that oily sheen on your face to grease the frying pan with!!
You’re used to starting “from theGround up” anyway, why not start from theFloor on Up and wash dishes in your favorite restaurant before they turn you loose with petite Manda-Lynn!!
erhhh.
with theMandolin and 2 blocks of Greyres Goat cheese silly. That small vegetable, fruit and cheese cutting implement.
And if you haven’t cut your fingers off by end of the day, You get to slice and dice theVegetables and Monitor theRoasts and the Smoking Duck in theIndustrialSmoker.
That’s opportunity right there for you to whip out that Pipe and inhale a few sharp puffs, just after you’ve opened theSmoker and inspected theCharred ashes of those four, 15lb ducks that cost $50 each.
----------
Upon Graduation from these and our other fine village!! CareerChoicePaths, you will be able to:
* Understand the theory and concepts of your chosen Work skill and can implement necessary techniques to operate or function in the commercial aspects of this job....Or NOT!!
After knowing theINS and OUTS of your careerChoice, then you can Graze from the store shelfs at whim, liberate your Keg & bottle buddies while theDeliveryDriver goes into theBar and while he chats with theHotChefGirls!!,
you can, while using your computer skills, Order more of your favorite product via thePicPay relay scanner and have tasty refreshment next time theDelivery truck comes round!!
* Understand the wild-ass theory and lame-o concepts of your vocation and can implement necessary techniques to operate or function in the commercial settings,
be it theOffice, theKitchen, theJobBank, theFoodBank-n-SoupKitchen!! or even theFacilities services programs while you’re in jail!! It's that Simple and....
It’s all here for you to learn and then pick and choose what works for you and your sedentary, idle Village based lifestyle!!
Cozy on up to that young Sweetthang with 4Kidz and become her next “Daddy”, without fear of her pursuing you for 18+yrs for child support, cos frankly,
after just one year with us, you won’t care to ever work again!!
(but we gotta say it, After you turn age 40, watch out Whom you cozy up to, cos you might juss be the REAL daddy of that sweet thang in thePublicAssistance office!!)
* Understand Personal sanitation procedures so that you‘ll fit right in with everyone else as they visit theLibrary and you sit there day after day after month after year pecking away on your computer,
to learning city and municipal building occupancy restrictions and learning police & fire code radio comms and other emergency response procedures necessary to maintain a safe Anti-job, No work production environment all around you 24 / 7 / 365 days a year!!
You can soon do this from the relative ease and safety of.... Well. Of your Relatives homes!!
Just by observing and charting patrol routes, alarm responses and even obtaining shift schedules and by being able to build your own Scanner, you can walk those city streets free from harassment from thePopo!!
* Understand the economics of your chosen service industry so that when you go out shopLifting for food,
you’ll understand the cost control cycle and will be able to manipulate the In place Security systems controls necessary to supposedly "prevent you" from eating and sleeping warm uninvited inside privateIndustry & municipality facilities,
and you can thus maintain no out of pocket costs to YOU and thus ensure less profitability for those idiots that have business‘ and hold jobs!!
* Understand intimately, Human Resource management’s wanton needs and her carnal appetites after having built Your Own telescope!!
and you’ll be able to finagle your past the facility operation management guys and land a cushJob!! working next to that cute handJob!!
You’ll have complete access to secret business concepts, principals and practices to ensure YOUR safety, while everyone else gives customer service while the two of you make out and let Other People handle the profit making!!
* Understand, on a Base carnal, sensual level (to include how to freeBase!! *SNNIIIFFFFF!!!* ), including a rudimentary level, the mechanics and emotions involved in the dynamics of human metabolism and how diet can effect health and prevent disease.
And you’ll only understand this last item only after you and theHot lil Ms HR meet up secretly for about.... 9 and a 1/2 weeks and feed each other (but mostly her!!) vegetables, chocolates, Messy fondue and cheese, Whipped cream and even Yogurt!!
See!!
we know where every unemployed man really wants to end up!! And as you could tell from our advertising bulletins, That we started to specialize and narrow your end product "scope of Practice" for you.
We KNOW!!
So Apply Now!! here at YVCInc (doh!!) aka YourVillageCalled!!,
Alaska Village Tales and find out how!!
http://alaskavillagetales.blogspot.com/
---------------------
this has been an PSA from YVCInc!! and theVillage CommishionsOffice for a sedentary lifestyle!!
----------
luvs,
theSam!!
exPublicSafety-turned-Bloggist!!
d:o(
and Other Employment & Training Links!!
-----------------
We here at YVCInc (doh!!) have revised some of our Village!! based Employment and Training opportunity programs. Thank you for visiting our JobSite for all your Employment-to-Unemployment needs!! Just do us One teenssy little favor ok?!
Don't say "W-o-r-k", cos that's a bad word,
a very BAD BAD word!! d:o(
Anyway, have a look and when you've decided what you want, whether you want to end up right on SkidRow, or to be In and Out of theShelter, or maybe to be semi-Employed like some crazy exVPSO guy,
just let our Unemployed specialists!! give you a hand as they pull you...down!!
--------------
theVillageJobSite!!
-Helmets to Hardhats!!...to HandOuts!!
Please mr., Can youu
*hiccup!!* ...spare a dime?!
Hey buddy!!, can I have a quarter!?
You’ll still be HighlyVisible whether you’re just starting in this lucrative Construction field or on skidRow cos,
You’ll still be wearing that Loud Orange Vest and your platform leather boots.
At least you’ll tower over most Police and Security as they contact you to evict or Arrest your sorry ass.
-Troops to Teachers!!...to Hermit!!
In fact, you’ll skedaddle!! like those funny crabs and head someplace void of Children or, quite frankly, Offspring of Any kind!!
You’ll lead a life that’s Whine free, and pitterPatter of little feet-Free!!
You’ll enjoy all of this if not utter Celibacy and a permanent pilgrimage to an Overseas Monastary / Nunnery.
But FIRST you’ll make a trip to theHospital for a Vasectomy / a complete Hysterectomy!!
*sigh*
though after some brave souls went into theVillage!! schools, they turned around and fought tooth and nail to REENLIST and eagerly served in hostile combat zones WITHOUT helmets, ArmorVests or quite frankly, Without any weapons what so ever.
A majority of these aspiring T2T2H!!’s just chose isolation. And we think one guy even went out to theVillage!! unarmed...
which brings us to our next careerChoice.
-T-Shirt to a Badge!!...to disgruntled exPublicSafetyBloggist!! (but you'll have to grow your hair out for a few years as well as go bald awhile too)
Your bright eyes will suddenly burn out faster than a VPSO or an StateTroop out in theVillage!! when you choose this public safety officer program.
Applicants to this DutyCore are convinced they can change a Villager!!’s world but often just end up changing infant Diapers while theParent is too drunk to move.
(even if that hot VillageChick!! eventually does become your girlfriend)
but you’ll often just be changing theFlat tires on your vandalized Duty Vehicle!! (again...)
So what are you waiting for!? Sign up today and be theLiteral envy of every Lawman in theNation.
Cos at least you’ll be able to say, And Blog!! that you went to many (one waay too many we think) Gun Calls & Fights “Un-Armed” and without any Ballistic protection, communications or any backUP whatsoever.
not that you needed protection or help or frankly cared.
-ShoeStrings to ApronStrings!!....to theNearest Job Center Office!! and then to thePostOffice for your FoodStamp Quest card!!
Join this alaskanVillage!! inspired Rush upon theFast food market in theCity!! oh my heck...
Even some of our VPSO’s have gone this career path!!
Mehh.. if Only to Eat on a daily basis!!
Just be sure to cut thePotatos REEAALLYY skinny and cook them just half as long as you would conventional fries!!
oh... and don’t forget to DoubleKnot your work Apron,
or else theIncredibly Hot ServerGirls!! will sneak up behind you and undo your apron
when your hands are full - of OtherServerGirls!!
-HenPecked to Doghouse!!....to Outhouse!!
an AK Trades & Village Commissions Carpentry sponsored program for newly Married men who’s honeymoons were basically over before they even proposed!!
You’re always in Trouble anyway, what with “Her” or her Mother or like Sam!! even his own mother!! d:o(
So, might as well make it official and Build Your Very Own DogHouse!!
then join our Craftsmen as they build AlaskanOuthouses for-Profit!!, for other subjugated men Worldwide!! (whom still live with their mommies, or at least used to)
And why not?! You've fixed and repaired every piece of wooden furnishings in your house and know quite well, theFeel of Wood upon your Head, Face, Body and deep in your Soul.
-Pot to Panz!!...with a short 4yr stop at a halfWay house somewhere in Between!!
(this program is also endorsed by a former VPSO but he insists, rather dryly and quiet calmly btw, ??,
that he hasn't ever ever inhaled when those cute BarMaids gave him a ride home all of Nov and December, including Jan and Feb!!
he also slowly, nonchalantly claims he couldn't even see out theVehicle due to thePurpleHaze!! that was all up in his mind, making him act funny and he didn't know why, uhmm. Scuse him while he grabs a thigh!!) Sorry Jimi!!
As a Pto to Panz!! careerChoice candidate you know everything anyway!! Or at least you act like it. Well........ maybe for at least 45mins of every hour you toke.
But hey, no one else does!!....Know things......... like..... you........
Nor do they EAT like you either!!
Because you can cook better than anyone else even if you have just one Saltine cracker in the cupboards, a dried up raisin on the floor and that oily sheen on your face to grease the frying pan with!!
You’re used to starting “from theGround up” anyway, why not start from theFloor on Up and wash dishes in your favorite restaurant before they turn you loose with petite Manda-Lynn!!
erhhh.
with theMandolin and 2 blocks of Greyres Goat cheese silly. That small vegetable, fruit and cheese cutting implement.
And if you haven’t cut your fingers off by end of the day, You get to slice and dice theVegetables and Monitor theRoasts and the Smoking Duck in theIndustrialSmoker.
That’s opportunity right there for you to whip out that Pipe and inhale a few sharp puffs, just after you’ve opened theSmoker and inspected theCharred ashes of those four, 15lb ducks that cost $50 each.
----------
Upon Graduation from these and our other fine village!! CareerChoicePaths, you will be able to:
* Understand the theory and concepts of your chosen Work skill and can implement necessary techniques to operate or function in the commercial aspects of this job....Or NOT!!
After knowing theINS and OUTS of your careerChoice, then you can Graze from the store shelfs at whim, liberate your Keg & bottle buddies while theDeliveryDriver goes into theBar and while he chats with theHotChefGirls!!,
you can, while using your computer skills, Order more of your favorite product via thePicPay relay scanner and have tasty refreshment next time theDelivery truck comes round!!
* Understand the wild-ass theory and lame-o concepts of your vocation and can implement necessary techniques to operate or function in the commercial settings,
be it theOffice, theKitchen, theJobBank, theFoodBank-n-SoupKitchen!! or even theFacilities services programs while you’re in jail!! It's that Simple and....
It’s all here for you to learn and then pick and choose what works for you and your sedentary, idle Village based lifestyle!!
Cozy on up to that young Sweetthang with 4Kidz and become her next “Daddy”, without fear of her pursuing you for 18+yrs for child support, cos frankly,
after just one year with us, you won’t care to ever work again!!
(but we gotta say it, After you turn age 40, watch out Whom you cozy up to, cos you might juss be the REAL daddy of that sweet thang in thePublicAssistance office!!)
* Understand Personal sanitation procedures so that you‘ll fit right in with everyone else as they visit theLibrary and you sit there day after day after month after year pecking away on your computer,
to learning city and municipal building occupancy restrictions and learning police & fire code radio comms and other emergency response procedures necessary to maintain a safe Anti-job, No work production environment all around you 24 / 7 / 365 days a year!!
You can soon do this from the relative ease and safety of.... Well. Of your Relatives homes!!
Just by observing and charting patrol routes, alarm responses and even obtaining shift schedules and by being able to build your own Scanner, you can walk those city streets free from harassment from thePopo!!
* Understand the economics of your chosen service industry so that when you go out shopLifting for food,
you’ll understand the cost control cycle and will be able to manipulate the In place Security systems controls necessary to supposedly "prevent you" from eating and sleeping warm uninvited inside privateIndustry & municipality facilities,
and you can thus maintain no out of pocket costs to YOU and thus ensure less profitability for those idiots that have business‘ and hold jobs!!
* Understand intimately, Human Resource management’s wanton needs and her carnal appetites after having built Your Own telescope!!
and you’ll be able to finagle your past the facility operation management guys and land a cushJob!! working next to that cute handJob!!
You’ll have complete access to secret business concepts, principals and practices to ensure YOUR safety, while everyone else gives customer service while the two of you make out and let Other People handle the profit making!!
* Understand, on a Base carnal, sensual level (to include how to freeBase!! *SNNIIIFFFFF!!!* ), including a rudimentary level, the mechanics and emotions involved in the dynamics of human metabolism and how diet can effect health and prevent disease.
And you’ll only understand this last item only after you and theHot lil Ms HR meet up secretly for about.... 9 and a 1/2 weeks and feed each other (but mostly her!!) vegetables, chocolates, Messy fondue and cheese, Whipped cream and even Yogurt!!
See!!
we know where every unemployed man really wants to end up!! And as you could tell from our advertising bulletins, That we started to specialize and narrow your end product "scope of Practice" for you.
We KNOW!!
So Apply Now!! here at YVCInc (doh!!) aka YourVillageCalled!!,
Alaska Village Tales and find out how!!
http://alaskavillagetales.blogspot.com/
---------------------
this has been an PSA from YVCInc!! and theVillage CommishionsOffice for a sedentary lifestyle!!
----------
luvs,
theSam!!
exPublicSafety-turned-Bloggist!!
d:o(
Comments