village!!Drink Samples!!

Drink Samples!!
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....from "theBarTender's BlackBook" by Stephen Kittredge Cunningham!! This blogPost is another Sam!! cut-n-Paste job
-Sad- d:o(

w/ theSam!! commentary afterwards!!

theMANHATTAN!!
(CAUTION: DRY can mean either make drink with Dry Vermouth or less Sweet Vermouth than usual.
PERFECT means use equal amounts of Sweet and Dry Vermouth.
SWEET means use more Sweet Vermouth than usual.
NAKED means no Vermouth at all.)

Fill glass with ice.
2 oz Whiskey
1/2 oz Sweet Vermouth
Stir.
Strain into chilled glass or pour contents (with ice) into short glass.
Garnish with Cherry or Lemon Twist.
--
theSam!! sez:
Meh!! means, add anything!!
wheh!! means, show me first before you add anything!!
ehh!! means, who cares if theSam!! is back in theVillage!! from transportin' your dad to Jail!!
YorMouth!! can either be gummy, OneToothed or like theSam!!'s, still chewing PopTarts!!

Garnish then twist again like you did inJail!! last week before theSam!! garnishes more Villagers!!

MAPLE RUSSIAN
Fill glass with ice.
1 oz Vodka
1 oz Coffee Liqueur
1/2 oz Maple Syrup
Fill with Milk or Cream.
Shake.
--
theBland!! sez:
A breakfast fave with theVillagers!! of HighlandVillage!! in theYVCInc (doh!!) area, for them, breakfast isn't complete without vodka.

then stumble down theStreet!! and go lick eggs off theDutyVehicle!!

theOnes!! you threw at Sam!! last Halloween.

And if you have no Milk, just raise a ruckus!! and theSam!! will come runnin' with his BulletVest!! on,

Just unzip theFrontOuterPocket and his blueBoxed Milk is right there inside!!

MARTINI
(Caution: DRY usually means less Vermouth than usual.
EXTRA DRY can mean even less Vermouth than usual or no Vermouth at all.)

Fill glass with ice.
2 oz Gin or Vodka
1/2 oz Dry Vermouth
Stir.
Strain into chilled glass or pour contents (with ice) into short glass.
Garnish with Lemon Twist or Olives or cocktail onions.
--
theSot!! sez: *hiccip!!*
payAttention!!

You'll see your "market" or theCrowd!! that drinks this in theVillage!! by looking at theWords - Mar and tini

"Ma" are "Teen"y,
or at least, she still thinks she is, even after 50yrs walkin' out of 2nd grade!!

Mom can always be "foundOut!!" what she drinks, cos when you're sneaking through theWoods!! and seeing theBackSide!! of theVillage!!

You'll see that pretty much "everyone" puts their favorite drinkingCups, Glasses, BareWare on a backWindow and lets it sit there,

especially Teens!!
And.....

don't worry about shaking thisDrink!!
Dad will eventually commit DVE and take care of that.

MARGARITA
Fill glass with ice.
1 1/2 oz Tequila
1/2 oz Triple Sec
Dash of Lime Juice
3 oz Sour Mix
Dash of Orange Juice (optional)
Shake.
Rub rim of second glass with Lime and dip into kosher salt.
Pour contents (with ice) or strain into salted glass.
Garnish with Lime.
--
theSam!!rita sez:
if you ask me!! And I know you won't, so I'm tellin' ya'.

That pretty much everyVillage!! drink has potential to be "Rimmed" this, "Salty" that, "Sweet" others!!

Cos when opened, pursed, slobbering spittle covered lips are searching in vain for that next drink, having already "rubbed theRim!!" of everything from various drinking glasses to theToiletSeatRim!!

You can then pretty much sprinkle on anything,
cos theSam!! doesn't recommend dipping rims into anything, It's much more sanitary to sprinkle!!

And if you have no Limes.
Just talk about theSam!!

Everyone's sourd puss' will wrinkle up, contort, eyes trying to focus before spouting off theLatestEvents theOfficer did

where your relatives "Dashed" away from him through theWoods!!- and enjoy!! (the drink sillies)

MARGARITA (frozen)
In Blender: 1 cup of Ice
1 1/2 oz Tequila
1/2 oz Triple Sec
1/2 oz Lime Juice
3 oz Sour Mix
Blend until smooth. If too thick add juice. If too thin add ice.
Rub rim of glass with Lime and dip into Kosher Salt.
Pour contents into salted glass.
--
theLush!! sshhezz:
I'm not big on Slushies!!

and besides, this drink is awesome!! No sense in ruining it with glib commentary!!
*looks around messyApt!! for empty Patron bottle*

SEX
Fill glass with ice.
1 oz Coffee Liqueur
1 oz Orange Liqueur
Stir.
Garnish with Orange.
--
Sad
d:o(

SEX AT MY HOUSE
Fill glass with ice.
1 oz Amaretto
1 oz Black Raspberry Liqueur
Fill with Pineapple Juice.
Shake.
Garnish with Pineapple.
--
theBlueBalls!! sezz: "oww!!"

Alt Recipe!!
fill Sam!! w/Food & drink
1 $50 surcharge to theJamaicanLandLadymon' perGuest per night!!
1 container of Raspberry juice, But theSam!! likes Cranberry best.
last 3 steps are Censored!!
Uh Oh
d:oO

SEX AT THE BEACH
Fill glass with ice.
1/2 oz Vodka -Big Eyes- d8o)
1/2 oz Southern Comfort -Blank Stare- d:o/
1/2 oz Peach Schnapps -Thumbs Up- d:oD
1/2 oz Apple Brandy -Wink- d;o)
1/2 oz Orange Liqueur -Blech!- d8^C
1/2 oz Orange Juice -Happy- d:o)
1/2 oz Cranberry Juice -Big Eyes- d8o)
1/2 oz Milk or Cream -tongue-out- d:oP
Shake. -WTH- d:o<
Strain into chilled glass. -Thinking- d]o/
--
theImbibed!! sez:
as for theBeach thingie here in Anchorage,
Just walk on out on theCoastalTrail but stay off theMudFlats!!

better yet,
just visit any Soap-n-Suds carWash and help theChica's & IslandaGals!! wash
their tricked out, BodyDropped miniCoopers!!

SEX IN A BUBBLEGUM FACTORY
Fill glass with ice.
1 oz Light Rum
2/3 oz Apricot Brandy
1/2 oz Banana Liqueur
1/2 oz Blue Curacao Happy (heaven all by itself!!)
Fill with Lemon-Lime Soda.
--
thatGuy!! sez:
Some enterprising Anchorage-ite needs to start up a BubbleGum factory!!

or better yet,
A MIME school

or an accordian factory!!

SEX IN A HOT TUB
Fill glass with ice.
1 oz Vodka
1/2 oz Peach Schnapps
1/2 oz Black Raspberry Liqueur
Dash of Cranberry Juice
Dash of Pineapple Juice
Shake.
Fill with Champagne.
--
After splashing theVodka!! into the glass, hand Sam!! the full bottle.

Keep theSchnapps bottle though but hand over theCranberryJuice!! or somebody gets hurt!!

Shimmy & shake-shake-shake!! while theSam!! kills theShampogna...
theShammpainnee,

*pshhhh*

While theSam!! complains!! -WTH- d>:oO

SEX IN THE PARKING LOT
Fill glass with ice.
1 oz Vodka
1/2 oz Black Raspberry Liqueur
1/2 oz Apple Brandy
Fill with equal parts Orange and Cranberry Juice.
Shake.
--
3rdBase!! sez:
Most villagers!! just skip theLiqueur, theBrandy, theOJ and Juice and go straight to theParkingLot!!

SEX IN THE WOODS
Fill glass with ice.
1 oz Vodka
1/2 oz Amaretto
1/2 oz Coffee Liqueur
Fill with Pineapple Juice.
Shake.
--
theMosquitoMagnet!! sez:
Don't forget theSplash of Deet!!

or just eat theCitronellaCandle!!

SEX MACHINE
Fill glass with ice.
3/4 oz Vodka
3/4 oz Coffee Liqueur
3/4 oz Orange Liqueur
Float 1/2 oz Milk or Cream on top.
--
i.m.NOTrobot!! computes:
immediately go apply for StateAid, wic, denaliKid cars every 11.2 months!!

Or move from Village to village!! every 2.5yrs like Sam!! did.
-Raspberry- >:oP

luvs,
theSam!!

Happy
Report to theModSam!! d:oP

-theSam!! STILL NOT wanted in 300+ Villages and 48, 49...50 States!

-theVillage!! take our VPSO for free please!

-theBottle!! Throw out theBarrel and Tap me!!

-theVillage!! Still good (mostly) and still for sale!!, 4doz VillageChixxx!! included!!

d:oP
---------

Edited to Add!!:
Saturday 10May2008!!


theSam!! slept in all day on this His DayOff!! and awoke around 2pm,

then caught theBus!! downtown and hit a few local stores and shops before going back to eat at theChippedCup!! for late lunch.

"theBeat was bumpin' theGirliez wuz hot,
this suit was starin' like he knewz who I are,
I took an empty seat next to him at theBar!!"


oh.. Sorry BeastieBois!! I couldn't help myself.
Anyway, I had theUsual lunch special and then consoled myself with pie & ice cream.

And then,
ohmygod... since I don't have all theDrinkNames memorized yet,

I asked theBarGirl!! for a tall glass of GrayGoose!! vodka,
Stoli!! vodka,
some Cranberry juice.

She mixed small ounces measurements for me, shook everything in a bostonShaker, poured for me and man that was Potent!!

"I don't have a name for that sweetheart,
You told me what you wanted, I shook it for you,
careful, it's a Whopper!!" she added as she waddled away.

I'm glad I ate food first before having a drink!!
I could feel warm and tingly after a few minutes.
Wow, that was Yummy.

I would've thanked myBarTender!!, but she's already pregnant!! d:oP

I continued shopping and enjoying theSummer Alaskan weather!! and did sneak into Barnsand Oble's books before they knew I was there,

and did buy the latest Greatest 2008 edition of theBarTender's BlackBook,

and as I rode theTransitBus!! to nowhere in particular I thrilled at looking for and actually "seeing" with my own 2 Beady Lakota eyes theABOVE!! mentioned recipes that I cut and pasted from theInet,

I'll have to try them someday.

I like this new Bar book I bought, cos it will help me be recent & relevant!!
(a first I might add!!) in ordering mixed drinks,

and I like how theAuthor Mr. SKC / stephenKcunningham also put in Reader Tips for drinkers.

I do agree that it's essential to tip theBarTenders and other ServerStaff well for the service they provide,

For the last 4yrs at least, that I know of, I've tipped $4 to $8 average for $20+ food & beverages consumed. Sometimes $5 to $10!!

I'm nice, and a real softy sometimes, and it's good to have theRules!! reinforced and/or taught to "us" customers by an BeenThereDoneThat / btdt BarTender!!

Cos honestly, some customers don't know how to act, or don't know what to do or how much to tip, etc.

With all the reading and studying I've done recently about theFood & Beverage Industry and especially from what I've learned by being there too,

Food Service & Beverage specialties aren't deadEnd jobs. It is a great profession to be a part of. Everyone in theBar!! & Restaurant is part of a team and there is no room for one person working there Or being Customer there!! who's not spreading some of the wealth around, as in tips, gratuities, etc.

I highly recommend theBartender's black book by stephen kittredge cunningham to anyone!!

But I only have "one" teensy, eeensy, mini lil' complaint.

That theBBBook!! doesn't come with it's own shotGlass!!, gimlet or Snifter and that there isn't a couple of round or square Coasters packaged inside as well,

you know, to help get us Drinkers into theMood!!
Oh.. and theNotes and PhoneNumbers pages in theBack, there needs to be more pages!!

erh, Pages for properly recording names and numbers, addresses of our favorite BarGirls!! etc,
uhmm..

to Include theUpcomingDueDates of their Babies birth!!
d:oP -silly-

luvs,
theSam!!

whom fancies himself a RoyRogers!!

Comments

Anonymous said…
Sam, oh my lord - I am just cross eyed here. Kill my landlord - kill my landlord. Whats the matter you in the village - no village no where in 48,49, 50 states? Those some kind lethal mix drinks there. Worse drink I ever had - beer and coke, thats many years ago.
lbj

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