Do You Have What It Takes?!
Do you have what it takes to become a Villager!?
When End of Tourist season Employees, broke-down Travelers and just Vagabonds in general want to become Alaskan Villagers,
All cute applicants must take an Prospective Occupant-Villager!! / POV test as part of their Denaturalization interview upon a COUCH / Council & Officer Uniform CoHesive (VPSO)
The questions are usually selected from a list of 100 sample questions that prospective occupant-Villagers!! can look at ahead of the interview (though the examiner is not limited to those questions and can just go off on a Tangent like most Villagers do when faced with Impending jail time and attempt to stall)
Like all VillageChicks!! Some Exam questions are easy, some are not and like most VPSO's, other questions are quite Obvious. We have picked some of the more difficult, whiny and hard to get along with ones.
NOTES: The YVC plans to revise its list of questions in 2018 (a Student pilot program is using these new questions at selected YVCInc (doh!!) sites around theRegion, but theDarn planes keep crashing).
Also, the questions in the test are as asked on the official YukonVillageConsortium
VillageImportations and Denaturalization Services regionalWeb site.
Prospective occupant-Village!! candidates are not given multiple choices in the Denaturalization interview, which is conducted orally. As one day when you are importing Alcohol & Drugs into theVillage!! and are selected to be questioned by theVPSO / VPO!! then you'd better think fast on your feet, give an answer and live with theChoice!!
1. How many Villages are there in theYVCInc (doh!!) region?
-110
-130
-450
-551
-Who cares?!
2. Who is the Chief of theBEHEMOTH group of Villages today?
-George george
-Albert al
-Tom's son
-John Jr.
-How should I know?!
3. In what year was YVCIncs!! delicate constitution finally balanced!?
-1976
-1887
-2006
-2812
-Umm, when everyone stopped buying that Cheap safesway boxed wine and stuck with NaturalIce beer?!
4. Which of these Village!! Rights is guaranteed by theVPSO!?
-Freedom of the press, as expressed heartily via restroom stall & bulletin board scribblings!!
-Right to bear arms, as expressed by Gun loving Villagers!! at 0300hrs that attract attention by emptying 2 boxes of ammo and then rush the responding Officers to show them your Gun-barrel first.
Or else screaming and shouting at everyone gathered and showing them that theGun is edible, by inserting theBarrel into your mouth.
-Right to happiness, as it comes from a Bottle, a roll of burning leaves, an pilfered prescription bottle or by just being a pain in the ass to all your relatives.
-Right to trial by VillageGrapeVine whom also act as Jury & character Executioner!!
-Rolling right turns without slowing down in theVillage!! But only when upon an Snowmachine or stolen 4 wheeler, and never slowing down when in your new Car.
5. How many Supreme Burger choices are there on theMenu at any given Village!! Bar&Restaurant !?
-5
-9
-10
-13
-Is this counting Moose, Waterfowl season and day old Meat from theGeneralStores out West. And Caribou, sled-Dogs & LostHunters in theEast or are we just wanting a happy medium regarding anything that goes well with onions and ketsup?!
6. What are at least 3 of the first 10 Signs of Intoxication in theVillage!! called?
-The Lean & Amble
-The Stumbling to theRights
-First Ten Attempts, whether entering an friends house or Yours, or whether talking to someone and it takes you 20 mins to say hello.
-Limping like theVPSO
7. When was the Villagers!! Declaration of Independence from All VPSO's adopted?
-July 4, 1986
-July 4, 1987
-July 4, 1912, come on. The state's VPSO program only started in the1970's!!
-July 4, 1976
-Mostly any June as that is theHighest month per Assaults, guncalls and theStart of theSummerBootleg season.
8. Which of the following ages of an VillageChick!! in theYVCInc (doh!!) Region does NOT address or guarantee Kissing rights?
-19th Year
-24th Year
-15th Year
-8th Year
-but any of these years does include full Dating & attendant bennefits and perks too!!
9. What are the 13 original Village!! states?
-Emergency, Drunken, Riotous, Delinquent, DisRepair, Tumultous, Impetuous,
Disarray, Disheveled, Confused, Delerious, Hysteria, Incoherent,
-Inebriate, Transient, Emergency, Riotous, Delicate, DisRobed!!, Temptress!!, Impetuous, Sumptuous!!, Dilerious, Hysterious, Incoherent, Absolved,
-Connecticut, Delaware, Unaware, Florida, Georgia, Arkansas, Ohio, Wisconsin, New York, New Jersey, South Carolina, North Carolina and Texas
-Does this include Hystrionics and Mental too!?
10. What do the stripes on theBackside of an CuteVillageChick!! mean!?
-The Cabinet that she fell against or was thrown against to include theDoor frame and theStack of Rifles in theArctic entry way before going down theStair steps to theGround outside.
-As administered by her boyfriend-One for each time theVPSO alledgedly "Looked" at her.
-They proudly represent the 13 original Village!! states
-One for each of her friends when they quietly drink and play Bondage / Torture games.
-She was completely nude & passed out when her friends used theSharpie!! marker on her body.
11. What is the introduction to "going to Jail" called?
-The Pre Amble stumble
-Bill, screaming out to theWorld that they have no Right to use him like that and dress the sheep in housePlants!!
-The Village!!Declaration of Independence from theState, as basically demonstrated by any Criminal / Delinquent Villager!! when committing socially unacceptable and criminally harmful acts under theInfluence and with dangerous weapons.
-The Articles of Shed Clothing behind you upon theGround!!
-Yeah, basically any and all of the above.
12. How many changes have there been to theVPSO's Patrol vehicle & personal vehicle tires!?
-9 this year
-10 last year
-13 the year before
-27 when he first started the job!!
13. Which of the following is NOT one of theUnwritten / Unspoken requirements to be eligible to become VillageChixxx!! local chapter President?
-Must be at least 25 years old by the time she will serve her 3rd prison term for Possession with Intent to Distribute.
-Must have lived in theVillage(s)!! for at least 14 years and been Inebriate at least 10 of those years.
-Must be a natural-born sneak, quick on her feet and upon theMattress, able to master slight-of-hand Pickpocketing and her Crocodile tears and Shoulder shudders / Mammary udders must be Real!!
-Must have served at least 8 summers and 4 winters upon an VPSO / VPO supervised prisoner / probationer work crew, with additional time upon an visiting construction crew running an handpacker in theDitches dead-drunk & barefoot or else by tearing up theLocal waterlines via theBackHoe still wearing your Sundaybest after 3 days partying.
-We'll skip all doings under theInfluence before age 8!!, any shenaniganz in theBuff at -40below upon a stolen snowMachine and also while Pregnant!!
14. Who selects theVillageTribal (kangaroo) Court justices?
-The Electoral College, I know, I know this is a Red Herring answer, as many of you don't know what college IS!! go to the next answers.
-TheVillage!! people
-They are appointed by theVillageChief with approval from his Cronies!!
-The VillageElders!!, as well they should
-an Villagers!! hand grasping at names-on-paper bundled inside a coffee can.
15. How many representatives are there in theVPSO's office!?
-50
-100
-102
-435
-25 at least, because his small office and even theAdjacent rooms & hallways won't safely hold more than 40 people. Of which, these 25 representatives loudly and vehemently proclaim their relative in Custody "Innocent of all charges!!"
16. Who said, "Give me liberty or give me death"?
-George
-Ben & Frank
-Thomas's son, here he is again. Named twice in our survey. he must be really Inebriate!!
-Patricia
-Basically any Drinker when faced with the choice of sobriety or Death via their poison of choice.
17. Why did theOutsiders come to theVillage!!?
-In search of VPSO Gold lettering upon theBack & front Chest!!
-To meet theAlaskan Natives!! especially theVillageChixxx!!
-For freedom in theLast Frontier that isn't found anywhere else!!
-To escape theOutside life. As in Outside Alaska.
-Just because it was there.
18. Who has the power to declare war upon local Law Enforcement efforts?
-theVillagers!!
-The VillageCouncil Chief.
-ChiefJustice of theVillageTribablCourt!!
-Chairman Joint Chiefs!! *INHALE!!!*
-I thought it had already been declared long ago and was still ongoing when I arrived in theVillage!! that early winter.
19. What COUCH form is used to apply to become a Cute Denaturalized Villager!!?
-Form HK "hugs & kisses"
-Any type of tall cylindrical form with a label that reads "alcohol", "whiskey", "vodka" etc upon it
-VillageChixxx!! membersONly card
-Extending theHand of Friendship and applications of the5 Rings!! including theBuildingOfBridgesOfTrust and the.... the... *ahem*.. moving on!!
-this space left blank intentionally
20. Which of these contains three rights or freedoms as screamed out late at night by drunken Villager!! Bill regarding his "Rights!?'
-Right to life, right to liberty, right to the pursuit of happiness
-Freedom of speeding around theVillage!! on his Mocha (we're thinking he meant his Moda 5000 cc TrailBlazer), freedom of expression any damn way you please, freedom of religion as it pertains to being able to toke up!!
-Right to protest any arrests you may incur, right to protection under the law, not theVillage extended false law given by theState, but theTrue law as handed down by theLand, freedom of... blah blah blah blah blah (we're actually quoting here!!)
-Freedom of religion, right to elect representatives from ones own family and friends in theVillage!!, human and animal rights, especially sled dog rights cos Bill only feeds his mutts Atta boy.. and ... and...
-Bill had finally come down off his Pot fueled rant and gotten sleepy.
We'll stop here and go wake up theVPSO!!
After looking at all this, if you've got what it takes to be one of us then you must be Crazy!!
d:oP
luvs, theSam!!
Alaska's silliest VPSO
and 3rd heaviest!!
When End of Tourist season Employees, broke-down Travelers and just Vagabonds in general want to become Alaskan Villagers,
All cute applicants must take an Prospective Occupant-Villager!! / POV test as part of their Denaturalization interview upon a COUCH / Council & Officer Uniform CoHesive (VPSO)
The questions are usually selected from a list of 100 sample questions that prospective occupant-Villagers!! can look at ahead of the interview (though the examiner is not limited to those questions and can just go off on a Tangent like most Villagers do when faced with Impending jail time and attempt to stall)
Like all VillageChicks!! Some Exam questions are easy, some are not and like most VPSO's, other questions are quite Obvious. We have picked some of the more difficult, whiny and hard to get along with ones.
NOTES: The YVC plans to revise its list of questions in 2018 (a Student pilot program is using these new questions at selected YVCInc (doh!!) sites around theRegion, but theDarn planes keep crashing).
Also, the questions in the test are as asked on the official YukonVillageConsortium
VillageImportations and Denaturalization Services regionalWeb site.
Prospective occupant-Village!! candidates are not given multiple choices in the Denaturalization interview, which is conducted orally. As one day when you are importing Alcohol & Drugs into theVillage!! and are selected to be questioned by theVPSO / VPO!! then you'd better think fast on your feet, give an answer and live with theChoice!!
1. How many Villages are there in theYVCInc (doh!!) region?
-110
-130
-450
-551
-Who cares?!
2. Who is the Chief of theBEHEMOTH group of Villages today?
-George george
-Albert al
-Tom's son
-John Jr.
-How should I know?!
3. In what year was YVCIncs!! delicate constitution finally balanced!?
-1976
-1887
-2006
-2812
-Umm, when everyone stopped buying that Cheap safesway boxed wine and stuck with NaturalIce beer?!
4. Which of these Village!! Rights is guaranteed by theVPSO!?
-Freedom of the press, as expressed heartily via restroom stall & bulletin board scribblings!!
-Right to bear arms, as expressed by Gun loving Villagers!! at 0300hrs that attract attention by emptying 2 boxes of ammo and then rush the responding Officers to show them your Gun-barrel first.
Or else screaming and shouting at everyone gathered and showing them that theGun is edible, by inserting theBarrel into your mouth.
-Right to happiness, as it comes from a Bottle, a roll of burning leaves, an pilfered prescription bottle or by just being a pain in the ass to all your relatives.
-Right to trial by VillageGrapeVine whom also act as Jury & character Executioner!!
-Rolling right turns without slowing down in theVillage!! But only when upon an Snowmachine or stolen 4 wheeler, and never slowing down when in your new Car.
5. How many Supreme Burger choices are there on theMenu at any given Village!! Bar&Restaurant !?
-5
-9
-10
-13
-Is this counting Moose, Waterfowl season and day old Meat from theGeneralStores out West. And Caribou, sled-Dogs & LostHunters in theEast or are we just wanting a happy medium regarding anything that goes well with onions and ketsup?!
6. What are at least 3 of the first 10 Signs of Intoxication in theVillage!! called?
-The Lean & Amble
-The Stumbling to theRights
-First Ten Attempts, whether entering an friends house or Yours, or whether talking to someone and it takes you 20 mins to say hello.
-Limping like theVPSO
7. When was the Villagers!! Declaration of Independence from All VPSO's adopted?
-July 4, 1986
-July 4, 1987
-July 4, 1912, come on. The state's VPSO program only started in the1970's!!
-July 4, 1976
-Mostly any June as that is theHighest month per Assaults, guncalls and theStart of theSummerBootleg season.
8. Which of the following ages of an VillageChick!! in theYVCInc (doh!!) Region does NOT address or guarantee Kissing rights?
-19th Year
-24th Year
-15th Year
-8th Year
-but any of these years does include full Dating & attendant bennefits and perks too!!
9. What are the 13 original Village!! states?
-Emergency, Drunken, Riotous, Delinquent, DisRepair, Tumultous, Impetuous,
Disarray, Disheveled, Confused, Delerious, Hysteria, Incoherent,
-Inebriate, Transient, Emergency, Riotous, Delicate, DisRobed!!, Temptress!!, Impetuous, Sumptuous!!, Dilerious, Hysterious, Incoherent, Absolved,
-Connecticut, Delaware, Unaware, Florida, Georgia, Arkansas, Ohio, Wisconsin, New York, New Jersey, South Carolina, North Carolina and Texas
-Does this include Hystrionics and Mental too!?
10. What do the stripes on theBackside of an CuteVillageChick!! mean!?
-The Cabinet that she fell against or was thrown against to include theDoor frame and theStack of Rifles in theArctic entry way before going down theStair steps to theGround outside.
-As administered by her boyfriend-One for each time theVPSO alledgedly "Looked" at her.
-They proudly represent the 13 original Village!! states
-One for each of her friends when they quietly drink and play Bondage / Torture games.
-She was completely nude & passed out when her friends used theSharpie!! marker on her body.
11. What is the introduction to "going to Jail" called?
-The Pre Amble stumble
-Bill, screaming out to theWorld that they have no Right to use him like that and dress the sheep in housePlants!!
-The Village!!Declaration of Independence from theState, as basically demonstrated by any Criminal / Delinquent Villager!! when committing socially unacceptable and criminally harmful acts under theInfluence and with dangerous weapons.
-The Articles of Shed Clothing behind you upon theGround!!
-Yeah, basically any and all of the above.
12. How many changes have there been to theVPSO's Patrol vehicle & personal vehicle tires!?
-9 this year
-10 last year
-13 the year before
-27 when he first started the job!!
13. Which of the following is NOT one of theUnwritten / Unspoken requirements to be eligible to become VillageChixxx!! local chapter President?
-Must be at least 25 years old by the time she will serve her 3rd prison term for Possession with Intent to Distribute.
-Must have lived in theVillage(s)!! for at least 14 years and been Inebriate at least 10 of those years.
-Must be a natural-born sneak, quick on her feet and upon theMattress, able to master slight-of-hand Pickpocketing and her Crocodile tears and Shoulder shudders / Mammary udders must be Real!!
-Must have served at least 8 summers and 4 winters upon an VPSO / VPO supervised prisoner / probationer work crew, with additional time upon an visiting construction crew running an handpacker in theDitches dead-drunk & barefoot or else by tearing up theLocal waterlines via theBackHoe still wearing your Sundaybest after 3 days partying.
-We'll skip all doings under theInfluence before age 8!!, any shenaniganz in theBuff at -40below upon a stolen snowMachine and also while Pregnant!!
14. Who selects theVillageTribal (kangaroo) Court justices?
-The Electoral College, I know, I know this is a Red Herring answer, as many of you don't know what college IS!! go to the next answers.
-TheVillage!! people
-They are appointed by theVillageChief with approval from his Cronies!!
-The VillageElders!!, as well they should
-an Villagers!! hand grasping at names-on-paper bundled inside a coffee can.
15. How many representatives are there in theVPSO's office!?
-50
-100
-102
-435
-25 at least, because his small office and even theAdjacent rooms & hallways won't safely hold more than 40 people. Of which, these 25 representatives loudly and vehemently proclaim their relative in Custody "Innocent of all charges!!"
16. Who said, "Give me liberty or give me death"?
-George
-Ben & Frank
-Thomas's son, here he is again. Named twice in our survey. he must be really Inebriate!!
-Patricia
-Basically any Drinker when faced with the choice of sobriety or Death via their poison of choice.
17. Why did theOutsiders come to theVillage!!?
-In search of VPSO Gold lettering upon theBack & front Chest!!
-To meet theAlaskan Natives!! especially theVillageChixxx!!
-For freedom in theLast Frontier that isn't found anywhere else!!
-To escape theOutside life. As in Outside Alaska.
-Just because it was there.
18. Who has the power to declare war upon local Law Enforcement efforts?
-theVillagers!!
-The VillageCouncil Chief.
-ChiefJustice of theVillageTribablCourt!!
-Chairman Joint Chiefs!! *INHALE!!!*
-I thought it had already been declared long ago and was still ongoing when I arrived in theVillage!! that early winter.
19. What COUCH form is used to apply to become a Cute Denaturalized Villager!!?
-Form HK "hugs & kisses"
-Any type of tall cylindrical form with a label that reads "alcohol", "whiskey", "vodka" etc upon it
-VillageChixxx!! membersONly card
-Extending theHand of Friendship and applications of the5 Rings!! including theBuildingOfBridgesOfTrust and the.... the... *ahem*.. moving on!!
-this space left blank intentionally
20. Which of these contains three rights or freedoms as screamed out late at night by drunken Villager!! Bill regarding his "Rights!?'
-Right to life, right to liberty, right to the pursuit of happiness
-Freedom of speeding around theVillage!! on his Mocha (we're thinking he meant his Moda 5000 cc TrailBlazer), freedom of expression any damn way you please, freedom of religion as it pertains to being able to toke up!!
-Right to protest any arrests you may incur, right to protection under the law, not theVillage extended false law given by theState, but theTrue law as handed down by theLand, freedom of... blah blah blah blah blah (we're actually quoting here!!)
-Freedom of religion, right to elect representatives from ones own family and friends in theVillage!!, human and animal rights, especially sled dog rights cos Bill only feeds his mutts Atta boy.. and ... and...
-Bill had finally come down off his Pot fueled rant and gotten sleepy.
We'll stop here and go wake up theVPSO!!
After looking at all this, if you've got what it takes to be one of us then you must be Crazy!!
d:oP
luvs, theSam!!
Alaska's silliest VPSO
and 3rd heaviest!!
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